My mother-in-law came and went without incident (Thank Goodness!) Miss M was charming. She seems to have really started outgrowing her stranger anxiety in the last few weeks. MIL also seemed very happy about Miss M’s chinese lessons, but didn’t talk to her in chinese at all though.
We have decided not to mention our adoption plans to MIL right now. I have been casually mentioning it to my family, A’s older sister and to our friends and everyone has been supportive, but I am really scared about MIL’s reaction.
When A and I planned our wedding, we decided to have a friend marry us at my parent house, rather than a minister at a church. MIL totally freaked out. It never occured to us that she would care, because she handled the unwed pregnancy so well. But she became OBSESSED with our wedding. When she visited after Miss M was born, she brought it up over and over until A and I finally snapped and yelled at her. I thought we had reached an understanding, but as soon as she got home she sent us a letter. It begged us to reconsider and made some vague threats about her not coming to the wedding. And she called OVER and OVER. And then we got wind of her plan to sneak her minister into our wedding and have him kind of jump up and do the ceremony. (As if I would have gone through with that!) After another firm talking-to, she finally let it go…5 months later.
I think MIL will be very unhappy about the fact that we are not going to have more bio kids. She is already asking when we will have another. Since A is her only son, it is especially important that he has a son. When I first told her that Miss M was a girl after my ultrasound, (with disappointment in her voice) she told me the steps I should take to get a boy the next time. Her plan involved having A eat special foods, abstaining from sex for two weeks so his ejaculation will be very vigorous, and some other things I promptly blocked from my mind. She said it was guaranteed to get us a boy.
If she finds out about it, I am afraid MIL will become obsessed with the adoption plan. I can’t bear to argue about it for the next 2.5 years. A and I have agreed that there is no reason to get her all riled up right now. If it is up to me, I won’t tell her until after we are DTC. And I also think A should tell her alone, because if she says hurtful things, I am liable to hold a grudge for a really long time.
The weird thing, though, is that MIL mentioned chinese adoption when she was here. Apparently a friend of hers teaches chinese to a group of chinese adoptees in cleveland. She seemed kind of positive about it. I was just so stunned that the topic was coming up at all that I couldn’t say much.
On a completely unrelated note, I am watching Showbiz Moms and Dads on Bravo right now. Man, there is only one not-fucked up family on there. Those parents are just crazy.
Yeap! Your MIL is definitely Taiwanese. *Sigh* Mine is, too. As a Chinese myself, I was shocked when my MIL told my wife what your MIL told you on how to conceive a boy. I thought in ancient China, people believed that. Little did I expect modern era of Taiwan this kind of crap is still held so dear by its people.
My MIL recently spent hundreds of dollars on some Chinese herbal medicine for our kids. Legend has it that once a kid drinks 10 dosage of these herbal medicine soup they will grow up to be very tall. MIL is definitely thoughtful. Being tall in America is good, said popo. Our kids hate the smelly herbal medicine and told popo that “this thingy works only for Taiwan people on Taiwan diet.” The good thing is that our ILs are so far away in Taiwan.