Before this degrades into a rant, I just want to point out that the cake I made kicked ass. It was Nigella’s Chocolate Guinness Cake. Moist, dense and not too sweet. Also it tastes good with beer, which I should have had a lunch to help me make it through the day. Alas, I didn’t and what followed was beyond excruciating.
For M’s birthday, my parents bought us ALL (including my neice, sister and BIL) tickets to Princesses On Ice. M is not a great lover of the princesses because I have never really given her much opportunity to watch Disney movies. She may have seen a few of them at my parents’s house, but our house is simply all Dora all the time. My niece is obsessed with Cinderella though, so M had heard of them through the grapevine.
Before today, A and I were somewhat ambivalent about Disney. The stupidity of their stories tends to annoy me, but I wasn’t rabidly opposed to going to see some ice skating. Of course, leave it to my mom to up the ante a little. She showed up today with these:
Apparently my mom had heard that some of the kids go to the Disney Crap dressed up. Ignoring our moratorium against more junk for M (except for one birthday present), my mom brought this taffeta nightmare. Not wanting to be a party pooper, I reluctantly dressed M for the show. Boy oh Boy did she ever like that fucking ugly dress.
We loaded up the kids and headed down to the rink. After we parked the car, we navigated our way inside, jockying our way through the hordes of sparkling, glittery shorties. As soon as we entered the arena, we found ourselves in a vortex of commercialism, the likes of which I have never before seen.
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M, who doesn’t really understand the concept of commerce yet, was instantly swept up in the frenzy. “I neeeeeeeeeed Mickey Mouse!” she whined on the verge of tears. “I want that thing! I want this thing!” When asked what the things she wanted so badly were, she didn’t know. “The thing that lights up!” she said. Uh, NO, we said. We said no to the entire assortment of spinning, light up googaws. We also said no to the $10 sno-cone, unlike the people sitting behind us. Through out the show they could be heard saying “Hey, pass me the $10 sno-cone! We have to eat it before it melts! That thing costs more than my car!” The frenzy was not confined to children. Inexplicably, the woman in front of us couldn’t help but sport a flashy crown throughout the show.
Once the show started, the girls were mesmerized.
As the show went on, I became increasingly disenchanted with Disney. The story line told most of each princess story, but saved the the moment where the prince saves the princess until the very end. At that point, all six princesses were simultaneously saved from their coma/bad fate/poverty/whatever by their own personal Prince Charming. It made me want to gag.
M fell asleep on the way home in the car. After I carried her to bed, I couldn’t help but notice that she looked a lot like the sleeping/comatose Snow White as she lay in her bed. It creeped my ass OUT.
Honestly, I had forgotten most of the stories over the past 15 years. Now that I am reminded of their central plot points, I don’t think M is going to be allowed to see them. At least not very often. (The one execption seemed to be Mulan. I think it was her father saving her…is that right or was that supposed to be a prince too?)
It made my feminst self retch to see all those icky stories juxtaposed against each other. It also reminded me of my Jr. High and High School fantasies about a boy coming, sweeping me off my feet and saving me. Saving me from WHAT was always a little vague, but the plot was very Disney-esque.
Give me a little Dora the Explorer over Disney any day. No dashing lover, just a monkey friend. No romance, just a girl going on adventures and saving the day without the necessity of a male savior. I think we are going to just say NO to Disney. My girl doesn’t need a Prince to save her. She is quite capable of saving herself….I am, however, considering buying her a pair of steel toed boots to help her kick the ass of anyone who may want to ensnare her in an evil spell. Or maybe she could just mow them down with every girl’s best friend: A handy dandy John Deere lawnmower.
I laughed and laughed. I agree with you about all the princess crap. I don’t allow the princess movies in my home. I love Mulan though. She doesn’t get rescued. She rescues a few people – all of China actually.
happy birthday to M!
that cake looks absolutely wonderful, amber!
Happy Birthday to M! That whole experience sounds horrific. I agree with you wholeheartedly on the ghastly princess dresses. Thank you for the entry; I’ve spent hours reading travel writing about Iraq to examine for ethnocentricity and needed a good break.
Ugh! The Princess thing! Ack! Will I be forever lowered in your estimation if I say that we do have princess things here in the house? We’ve gotten a Princess Barbie from Grandma J. in OK, plus DH succumbed one day (goodness knows why) to the Princess thing so we’ve had some CDs in our house. There are some other ones where the prince isn’t the savior–Beauty saves the Beast…Lilo saves Stitch and Stich saves Lilo. Right now, though, OmegaDotter is mostly into horses.
The cake is gorgeous, and, commercialism and man-saves-the-day aside, it sounds (and looks) like the girls had a good time. Fight the good fight!
Bravo on not giving in to Disney!
A certain KLBer sent me Robert Munsch’s ‘The Paperbag Princess’. It has a FAB ending. I think you’d love it.
Happy B’day!
God, can I relate ~ I f***ing hate Disney. Hate it. Hope to never set foot in any of the theme parks. But I’ll tell you something, despite this, and despite the fact that we don’t have a TV, my daughter is into all things Princess. The more Disney-esque, the better. How did she get hooked in? I have no idea. You’re fighting a losing battle, as it seems you’ve already discovered.
Ahhh, nothing cleanses the palette like a John Deere.
Do you have “The Paper Bag Princess” (I think that’s the title). She rescues the prince. (No video, though).
Sorry, I shouldn’t post first thing in the morning. I didn’t see the other paper bag princess rec.
My sister asked me yesterday when are kids old enough to sit through a disney movie. I know the question was more about attention span than content, but I couldn’t help but say that, while we have most of the disney movies on vhs, courtesy of my mother who started buying them for her future grandchild before MD and I had even tied the knot, I hadn’t broken them out because I’ve soured on Disney over the past 10 years or so.
Then I just had to go on to say that I’ve even resisted Sesame St. because of the gross commercialization that’s, to me, overshadowed any educational value the show ever had. And, because I’ll do anything I can to avoid an Elmo obsession. I’m sure she thinks I’m nuts…but then, she doesn’t have kids yet. Time will tell.
Oh, and this is when I’m really, really glad to have a boy. Because I loved that crap when I was a kid. So I’d feel hypocritical if I denied my girl all the princess stuff, but knowing what I know now, I’d have to at least try.
He he he the Princesses! We just watched Beauty and the Beast which I really like because she saves the Beast at the end.
Happy Birthday Miss M
On the bright side, that is a kick-ass cake! I’m impressed. The girls look adorable, even if the dresses are really scary. Happy birthday to M and Happy upcoming birthday to you!
Mulan saves her father from disgrace, her boyfriend’s life and the life of the Emperor – all while maintaining her dignity. Don’t you just love it!
We were there too. My friend got free tickets and asked us along. Tootie doesn’t know any of the stories so most of the show was lost to her. She kept asking me where the tree went. The one Sleeping Beauty fell asleep under. Where did it go? She thought it was one big story and couldn’t understand the parade of shifting characters. And yes, she wanted one of those annoying spinning things that the kid behind us played with the entire show. She also wanted a “special drink”. hell no.
I do like Beauty and the Beast. yes, he saves her but she saves him in the end AND she loves to read.
Happy birthday, M! (and her mom!) Umm, sorry about the Disney hell. Princess-centric living is the number one reason I dread playdates at Aunt Erica’s as Madison gets older.
What the heck is A wearing on his ass? It looks like the largest fanny pack possible to get OR….it’s a huge man-purse. Yikes to either one!
LMAO!
That cake looks awesome!
I like A’s bag! The cake looks fabulous. What were the red things?
I hate Disney. Clara is 4 1/2 and she’s never seen any of it. Luckily, she’s not that interested, or not yet. Princesses on Ice sounds horrible.
First, happy birthday to M. She and my girl are very close in age. We had the big party this weekend. Your cake looks and sounds so much better than mine did though. It’s pretty too.
As for the Disney thang, we did that too a few months ago too (I won the tickets from a local paper so thankfully it was free) and it was terrifying! T. liked Mulan and Mushu and the fairy grandmothers–er godmothers, and the constantly changing castle. Thankfully, she doesn’t know the rest of the stories and didn’t have a clue what was going on most of the time. She did not like the wicked witch or the beast and asked to leave a couple of times. The whole prince as savior thing was lost on her thankfully but makes me crazy too–almost as crazy as $10 sno cones and cotton candy. I almost fell out of my seat laughing when a woman 2 rows up from us handed the vendor $3 instead of $30 and then couldn’t give the cotton candy back when the vendor corrected her because her kids all had their fat little faces buried in the sugar puffs by then. She didn’t look like she was having fun after that. Ha! The whole event was perverse.
Steel toed boots? Yes.Good choice. We have gone that route. We have matching kick ass boots at our house.
Funny — out of all the schlocky princessy junk my daughter owns, I think 90% of it was given to her by my mother.
We won`t do this someday, will we? Is it menopause that makes women do this? I wonder….
Why not fight Disney princesses with feminist princesses and heroines? Look into Petronella, Prince Amilec, and The Princess Who Stood On Her Own Two Feet. They don’t have any ice shows or dolls devoted to them and you can’t find them in the children’s book section (more like compendiums of modern fairy tales) but they’re worth seeking out and reading to your princess-obsessed girls.
Happy birthday, M!
Disney already gave me nightmares, but this galvanizes my resolve to not expose Julia to this level of commercial crap.
I am totally with you. I will NEVER allow my children to see those princess movies. Disney is still stuck back in the 30s when women couldn’t think for themselves. No thank you.
EXCELLENT post!! Couldn’t agree with you more. The end was great – way to go!
The cake is spectacular. And now my husband now wants to move back to Columbus so that he can carry a bag like A.’s without being beaten up.
Great post, thanks! Love the shot of the back of chick’s head in front of you. And you are right, Disney is largely pure evil – especially 21st Century Disney. I felt a sinking feeling for you as I scrolled past the photo of the girls in the Disney costumes… OH NO MOM, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE???? Ugh. My grandmother thinks my mom & dad somewhat “abused” me because I was never taken to Disneyworld as a child (and in fact, to this day I have never been to Disneyworld). It was an intentional choice, and I am so proud of her! My uncle (mom’s bro) takes his kid like every year, and he’s a good son and best dad in the world, of course. WTF??
Oh man I hate the way that the princess thing has been co-opted. I remember being young and loving Belle from Beauty and the Beast and Ariel from Little Mermaid becuase they were strong and cool personalities and belle loved to read, just like me. The whole princess thing just takes away all the cool parts of their character and turns them into the nausating damesels in the distress that makes my feminst heart cry.
Disney IS evil!
But your kids are ADORABLE!
Ha! I have a strong dislike for Disney princess shit. I refuse to introduce it to Ping and heaven help the person who does! They shall suffer my wrath! A wrath more powerful than the worst Disney villain! (Evil laughter.)
We haven’t shown any of the Disney princess movies except Cinderella. We have read a few of the books in various wiating rooms, and the kids did receive Mulan, Cinderella, and Ariel for their birthdays. (William had specifically been requesting the mermaid.) These demons are in the ether, so you can’t avoid them, even without a MIL buying tickets to shows. However, we’ve done our part to fight the patriarchy by reading the original versions of the stories in as many different fairytale books as possible. So far (we haven’t read Mulan yet), all the original versions are much more complicated and less overtly icky than the Disney versions. ESPECIALLY Beauty and the Beast.
Well, not the Little Mermaid. That one’s worse in the original, I think. But we haven’t read that one yet, either.
I think we’re pretty lucky in that the kids use their princess costumes to be a variety of people, not just the Disney clones. So they don’t look like loonies in the world, they can speak the language, but they also haven’t seen the movies. It’s possible to sort of do the whole thing part-way.
(Can I confess to liking the animated Little Mermaid in college? Now I watch and think, ack, I cannot let my children SEE this! But yeah — I loved it.)
Oops! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday!
my mother took my niece and nephew to that exact same show (yes, in columbus). ugh.
I am so, so frightened. At a recent party, two of my neighbors, each a mother to a four year old girl, compared notes about some damn Princess Dinner they went to at Disneyland where they dressed up, ate a 25 dollar cheeseburger, and got autographs from and photos of various Princesses. When I expressed my absolute horror, they warned me that one day I would be taking Katy. No, actually, I really can confirm that I won’t be doing that.
P.S. On the other hand, investing in Disney and taking advantage of these little kids desperate to have that light- up thing and the ten dollar snow cone might not be a bad idea. But that’s just the way my evil mind works.