I have been rolling the stuff from the ethics post around in my head. When I try to articulate how we can justify adopting from a country whose policies are so fucked, it ends up getting more and more convoluted and and I sound defensive. Instead of mulling it over any more, I am just going to toss some ideas out there and see what happens.
The simple fact is that children are being abandoned in China. They don’t have families. Most live in crowded, crappy orphanages. That sucks. The government won’t let their birthfamilies keep them and they won’t let chinese families adopt them without penalties (in most cases). The intersection of cultural taboos against adoption and governmental policies creating a colossal humanitarian disaster.
No matter how much I scream and yell about human rights in China, it doesn’t do jack shit for the kids who are living in orphanages right now. The protests of foreign governments, of the UN, of individuals outside of China haven’t done much to change the situation. Protests from people INSIDE China haven’t done much to change things in the past 20 years.
Hell, most of those kids living in Chinese orphanages are there as a result of a family protesting the one child policy: Saying no to forced contraception, forced abortions, to the governments attempts to control the family’s destiny. Hundreds of thousands of Chinese families trying to have a child to subvert the governmental controls. Each family with a second child who happens to be a boy won a living, breathing victory against that system.*
The flip side, of course, is that each one of those girls or special needs kids in the orphanages was an attempted protest that ended in heartbreak for the kids, for the birthparents, for China ( I really do believe that even the government feels sadness and shame about those kids).
I am a small person with a small voice living far far away from China. I can’t imagine any protest I could make that would come anywhere near the protest that Chinese birthparents are making.
Except, maybe, by adding my voice to the chorus saying that these lives and these children have value. When we adopt we are saying that there is no child who is more wanted than THIS child.
I guess that is how I justify it. By wanting this child so much it hurts.
*See the Chi Ku posts for more information about the informal enforcement that actually makes the one child policy equal “one son or two children”
I have the same chorus going on in my head all the time. Well, more so before adopting. You are aware and your eyes are wide open. You are thinking about the issues and recognize the complexity – I wish everyone adopting had such a big picture view but sadly, it’s apparent from most of the APC posts that this is not true. Keep raising awareness through the blog and keep the discussion going.
Now that I have a child born in China I do understand what you are saying here. When we adopted it was purely selfish, we wanted a child! End of story. Now we are adopting again from China and sometimes my thoughts, like yours are indeed a little more convoluted. It is more complex, the issues are not always black and white or easy. I still say we are selfish, not adopting for anybody else other than our family. But I do feel that the situation in China is in some way the karmic yin to our adopting yang. It sort of reminds me of the saying think globally but act locally. (Not that we are adopting to balance a global problem consciously, my family is not.) We want a child, period. And yet, it is comforting in some ways to feel that we are slightly tipping the balance by saying this child’s life is validated, is wanted, will be loved, forever and always.
The ethics of adoption for me have revolved around several issues (some I have worked through, others I have not) a.)that fact that I am personally benefitting from a larger injustice b.) my priviledge has made adoption possible c.) at what point do are we interferring with social policy d.) although corruption has always existed, are we contributing to the “industry” e.)what, if any, is my responsibility to the country that provided me with a family f.) the moral ambuguity of adoption, overall.
AmericanFamily, that was a lovely post. Just lovely. I don’t want to comment back to you right now. Just revel in your luminous words.
Can’t remember if I’ve commented before, but I read you regularly — You always provoke me to think through my own motivations for adopting.
Thanks for a beautiful post, especially those last few sentences. Really nice.
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