Yesterday I ran across this article on SF Gate.
Moms pay big for other mothers’ milk
But doctors warn non-nursing women of health risk to babiesChristine Bartels has spent more than $25,000 to feed breast milk to her baby.
What’s free for most moms has come at a high cost for the 44-year-old Palo Alto mother, who wanted her adopted son, Milo, to have the undisputed health benefits of breast milk. So she paid the Mothers’ Milk Bank in San Jose $3 an ounce for donated breast milk.
That’s nearly $100 a day.
A growing number of parents are going to great lengths to feed their babies breast milk, buying it from licensed banks, accepting it from strangers and even purchasing it online.
"I decided this was one of my top priorities. I cut back on fancy baby toys and fancy baby clothes," said Bartels, a single mother and analyst for Google Inc. who fed her 10-month-old nothing but breast milk for his first nine months, three months longer than the minimum doctors recommend. "My general sense is why mess with nature? It’s the optimal nutrition…"
My first thought when I read the article was "Damn, $25,000 to feed a baby? These people have too much disposable income, maybe I can quit my job an sell breastmilk for a living."
Then of course, I returned to thinking about myself. I have mentioned more than a couple times here that I am considering adoptive breastfeeding. I suppose I can just go ahead and revise that "considering" to "planning on". I have ordered the drugs, read the research and stocked up on breast pump supplies and supplimental feeding systems. In addition to the important bonding that breastfeeding can provide, even if the baby never manages to latch and breastfeed directly, I hope I can pump enough milk to at least suppliment her/his diet.
It wasn’t an easy choice to make and it isn’t something I would judge someone else who doesn’t want to try it. It is going to require a lot of work and effort from me during a very stressful time and there is probably a good chance that it won’t work at all and the stress and effort will be all for naught.
I will admit when I first read about adoptive breastfeeding, it made me a little squeamish. The idea of a kid who did not come out of my body sucking on my breast was not exactly something that seemed desirable. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t exactly feel all calm and serene like I had imagined I would when M was breastfeeding. By the end of that first year, I pretty much wanted my body back and the sooner the better, dammit.
But at some point in the last couple years, my feelings about adoptive breastfeeding started to change. As we moved through the adoption process, the reality that this imaginary baby is going to actually be my daughter or son started to hit home. When I was breastfeeding M, despite the occasional annoyance, I did it because I thought formula was the second best thing I could offer. Does my new son or daughter deserve anything less than the very best?
Also, at some point I picked up A Social History of Wet Nursing in America: From Breast to Bottle at the library (I read a lot of random books) and the idea of nursing a baby that wasn’t biologically from my body stopped seeming so foreign–people have been using wet nurses to feed their children for thousands of years. Besides, how is milk from my body any more gross than the secretions from the mammary glands of a COW for crying out loud?
If I really believe that human milk is the best thing for a human baby (and I DO believe that), why let a little squeamishness stop me from giving my baby the best nutrition I can?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the squeamishness was really just more of The Man** keeping me down. The Man tries to tell tell women that our boobs are for his pleasure, but that is bullshit. Boobs are for feeding babies. In America, we have swallowed this boobs are obscene crap to such a ridiculous degree that 29% of women in America never even attempt it at all despite nearly universal agreement that breastmilk is the best thing for babies to eat.
I am not going to rant against formula companies’ evil policies that convince women*** that formula is better for their babies than their own breastmilk right now. That is a worthwhile rant, but formula is vital for the HFC and other infants who are separated from their mothers due to death, abandonment or other situations where breastfeeding is not possible. Crises such as these are why formula was originally created and why I am thankful for it’s existence. I spend a good portion of the time I am thinking about the HFC hoping that he/she is getting full-strength infant formula. It is only the unethical marketing and profit machine which spins out of control that pisses me off.
I want my child to have the best beginning in the world he/she can. I hope that my child’s birthmother was able to give her/him colostrum and breastmilk after birth. I hope our baby is getting the best nutrition possible in the orphanage or foster home where she/he is living now. And I plan to do my best to give the baby the best nutrition possible for her/him when she joins our family.
And you know, if it all works out, maybe I will be starting down my new career as milk machine once the baby weans.
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*Hypothetical Future Child
**For the record, I am talking about The Man, not A–my man. A is very supportive of the breastfeeding the HFC if that is what I want to do.
***Particularly women in developing countries who can least afford it, don’t have safe water to mix with it and whose children would benefit the most from breastfeeding
Can you answer the question about considerations/thoughts about a baby who has never had breastmilk suddenly getting it after 16-18 months? You know me, I’m not being sarcastic.
I wonder if many of the needed, protective enzymes are moot at that point?
Hey, I too have considered breastfeeding my not-yet-adopted daughter from China.
I haven’t, however, done nearly as much research as you have on the subject. I plan to do more research at some point in the next couple of months.
Quick question in the meantime, if you don’t mind me asking: Has research been done on the possible health risks to the mom or child from the hormone drug taken to induce lactation? If so, what are these risks, if any?
Thanks:-) Barb
I’m really glad you raised this issue. I think a lot of people just assume that adoptive breastfeeding isn’t an option for an older (>9mo) child — that’t what I thought until fairly recently, anyway. We are also planning to adopt from China, so I’ll be really interested to see how this all goes for you.
I’ve only been coming to your blog for a short time, but it always gives me something to think about. Thanks!
I didn’t know those banks existed. My sister-in-law (a home birth midwife) has occasionally gotten breast milk from one nursing client for another client’s baby when baby’s mom’s milk was taking a long time to come in – sort of an informal bank.
Also, I just wanted to point out that there are herbal ways of inducing lactation for adoptive breastfeeding too. (Amber: that’s not assvice for you, I’m just saying that there are options for people who are squeamish about drugs).
Wow, just delurking once again to say I am intrigued by this post. I always planned to BF if I adopted an infant, but never considered it for an older baby. I wonder if an older baby, used to a bottle, will be able to figure out BF. My daughter REFUSED to BF, so I pumped for 9 months. I remember trying to get her to BF throughout her life. My last attempt was at 8 months. She looked at me like I was crazy and proceeded to bite me. Needless to say, that was my last attempt. Then again, my daughter refused the breast from day 1, so maybe she is not a good example. I will definitely be following your blog to see what happens. It would be awesome if your baby cooperates and I must just try it if you have a good experience. What a gesture of love and trust on both your parts.
The idea of watered down formula in orphanages makes me cry.
Delurking to say that I’m proud to be a wet nurse of sorts to the adopted baby of an aquaintance – I’ve been pumping & freezing milk for 3 months now, since my 2nd baby was 2 weeks old. I never would have imagined that I’d volunteer for this (I donate my milk – Taking $ for my milk rubbed me the wrong way, somehow), and that it would bring me such joy, before I breastfed my first child. When I noticed my body’s physical response when I held others’ babies, the way my milk let down when they cried, etc., the idea of sharing milk seemed very natural, despite my cultural conditioning.
Anyway, the baby I donate milk to started off with 1 oz of breastmilk in each of her formula bottles; as she’s adjusted to the taste, her parents have increased the amount of breastmilk in each bottle to around 3 oz. So far, it’s working out very well.
Cool post.
This is a great topic. Just a warning that I know you don’t need. The best laid plans…I too had considered doing this and decided against it mainly for logistical reasons. As it turned out, our daughter at 10 mos. had ten big choppers and wasn’t even on formula but regular food.
I think it’s great, though and I’ll be interested to see how it works for you.
More power to you, and I look forward to reading about it.
Speaking generally, and not about your individual choice, I worry about “Backlash to The Man,” which is pressuring reluctant women to nurse. I breastfed all 3 of my babies, and 2 of them never even tasted formula — but I also watched as one of my best friends had problem after problem with nursing. Her milk supply seemed fine, her son was latching on fine — but he was colicky, on the extremely low end of the weight-gain charts, and was a horrible sleeper. My friend consulted literally dozens of different specialists, and all of them told her to stick with the nursing — “If he has this many problems now, imagine how many he`d be having with formula!” etc.
One day, she couldn`t take it anymore and gave him formula — and the problems got better. But she had to switch pediatricians, because she got so much flak for it.
Also, this quote from the article really bugged me –
“I felt if I didn’t somehow make an effort to provide at least a small amount of breast milk for my kids, I had failed as a mother,” she said. “This is how I recovered from my surgery. Dammit, I had cancer but I’m not going to let it stop me from doing what’s best for my kids.”
I am glad she was able to give her kids milk, and glad she viewed it as a sign of empowerment over her cancer — but that part about feeling as if she “failed as a mother” stuck in my craw.
I Know someone who adopted an infant and tried this, I guess it didn’t work out.
I breastfed all my kids for over two years, and loved it.
Unfortunatly my Chinese husband and his family think formula is better for the baby! I have had to fight them the whole way!
De-lurking again…
I have to second the above poster about issues that some Chinese people have with breastfeeding. I am half Chinese, and the mother of 1-year-old twins. My grandmother, who is from China & Taiwan, gave me so much flack for breastfeeding. She was worried that I was “starving” my daughter & son since I had double the kids to feed (guess she didn’t realize that the ole moo machine I am, I just kept making double the milk), and she constantly nagged me about at least supplementing their diet with formula, which in her words is a thousand times healthier. What cracked me up was that her biggest rationale was that many people of Asian descent are lactose intolerant, and since my babies are half Asian (my husband is half Japanese), she thought our children might be allergic to my milk. I have other friends/relatives from China who espouse similar views, so it wouldn’t surprise me if your HFC didn’t have much of a chance to be breastfed.
I think it’s great that you’re giving it a try. As you said, if s/he doesn’t latch onto your breasts, at least you can give her/him the milk the other way. Please let us know how things work. As I’m still breastfeeding, and we’re considering adoption ourselves, you’ve inspired me to pump some extra to store in the freezer for potential future use. Thanks!
Wow…good luck and I hope this works out for you…I met my adopted kids when they were three and six, so I never even thought about this, but I am really impressed by your preparations.
I don`t think I have commented before so maybe this counts as de-lurking but I found this post really interesting. Where do I sign up for the milk-making enterprise!?! LOL! I got alot of crap from my Mum about BF-ing (she is Malaysian) and my MIL(Japanese) didn`t understand my determination to exclusive BF. I know it doesn`t work out for everyone but I love nursing my son and am glad i had the opportunity. I imagine that being able to offer the same “service”
to your new child would be a wonderful thing!
I think it’s a wonderful idea. And I bet it won’t take her that long to get used to breastmilk. I mean, it’s GOT to be a lot better tasting than formula.
Thanks for the post. I had mentioned it to hubby, we both though the idea was a little strange but you’ve convinced me to look into it further. I think it was the cow’s secretions comment that got me.