1. I really hated going.
2. I didn’t learn much from it.

But, what I did get out of that experience was making friends with other Chinese kids.

It was the one day of the week where I could be in a “school” and not get picked on because I was Asian. No ching-chong noises, no slanty-eyed faces, and no “ewww, you eat that”-remarks.

(Of course I grew up in the 80s so hopefully the kids are nicer today)

Anyway, it’s really hard to learn Chinese in those schools because it’s only once a week. And unless the parents are really involved, your kid will most likely put off doing the homework until the last minute and then cram like crazy.

For example, we had these Chinese character writing assignments where you had to write a word 10 times using the correct brush strokes. Instead of doing that, I would simply make 10 lines and repeat (like an assembly line of characters!)

I mainly learned how to speak Mandarin because that’s all my parents talked to me in. So if I wanted anything from them, I better know how to ask in Mandarin.

I fully agree that the myth of the really smart asian is as bad as any other stereotype however, I think we are talking about something besides just “asians are really smart”. Think of it as the difference between being raised in a family of any color who believes that college is important. It is harder [been there, done that] to fit into a group of people who believe you go straight from high school to a job and that higher education is insignificant. It is something that differentiates you.

Every weekend, our Chinese school is full to the brim of Chinese American kids doing still more academics and not sports. And where we live, there are an awful lot of Chinese schools all dominated by Chinese American kids. They may love being there, they may hate being there, but the fact is that in their families, learning this language [however futile the effort] is considered more important than sports. And this experience of Chinese school is a shared something between that group.

hose who don’t have the shared experience have one more thing that isolates them from their peer group. Example: Everyone in my elementary school in the sixties had two parents. My parents were divorced. The fact of being part of a divorced family was isolating to me with my peers–they couldn’t figure out how I could not have a dad, I couldn’t figure out what it was like to have one in the house.

Maybe “can ever possibly fit in” is too strong but I do think that not being immersed in the emphasis on academics may prove isolating in the future.

I think we should all expect the best from our children and encourage them to be A students, but also encourage them to be well rounded individuals and not be so harsh if they get a B or a C now and then. If we train our children well and give them the freedom to grow, they will desire to suceed when they leave our house. My parents equipped me with that desire, and in college doing well was more of a priority to me than it was to them. My mom kept telling me how I was doing much better in college than she ever expected. I stil can’t figure out whether that is a compliment or not!