Last night, Mr. A, M and I went to the community center to go swimming. I vaguely knew that there was a halloween thing going on, but since we were swimming, I didn’t think it would matter. When we got there, there were about 200 people running around playing games and watching a pretty unskilled teenage “hip-hop” dance squad dance to Thriller. We skirted our way around the hordes of people and headed to the pool.
When we came out of the locker room, I noticed that A was wearing something no man should ever wear. Yes, he was wearing his triathalon SPEEDO.
“You are really going to wear those?” I asked.
“Yes, I thought my other trunks were in my bag, but this is the only thing I could find.” He replied.
Fortunately, there were only 5 or 6 other people in the pool area, so I let it drop.
The pool is great for little kids. It has a zero entry thing and a big area that is only about 2 feet deep. They also let the kids use fun noodles and kickboards. M loves it. We dove right in.
“Daddy! I need a noodle and a kickboard…puleeeeeeease!” M asked.
A waded out of the pool and headed to the other side of the dome to get them.
As he was walking, I noticed that some of the hip hop dancers were standing near the big wall of windows that overlooked the pool. Then some of them started laughing and waving other friends over to see. About 10 or 12 of them all stood there pointing and giggling.
I turned around to see what was so funny, then I realized what the spectacle was: It was A in his SPEEDO.
All the girls were laughing at him.
Poor Mr. A had no idea because he wasn’t wearing his glasses and couldn’t see that far away.
As I watched him walking back to us, I decided that the kindest thing to do would be to wait until we went home to tell him. But the truth is, I am not really that kind.
“Dude! All those girls over there were pointing a laughing at your SPEEDOs!” I cried as soon as he was close enough to hear me. “They were totally mocking your package!”
“What? Why?” Cried Mr. A. “I always wear these and no one notices!”
“Maybe you just didn’t know that they were noticing! Those girls certainly noticed!” I said.
Mr. A spend the rest of the night sitting in the shallow water so no one could see his SPEEDOs.
Epilougue: I told Mr. A I was going to blog about his SPEEDOs. He is still insisting that he is going to continue wearing them and ”they are the best swimtrunks [he] has ever owned.” I asked him if I could take a picture of him wearing them to illustrate this post and he said no. He refused even if I promised to give him a black eye bar to mask his identity. I am totally bummed that he is refusing to demonstrate his SPEEDO pride. When pressed Mr A said “I am comfortable in my own manhood! I wear my SPEEDOs proudly. Just because a bunch of immature teenagers made fun of me, doesn’t change anything. At the same time, I don’t need to replicate that experience with all the people who read your blog!” He does have a good point.
aw, see i think he’d be super cute in a speedo.
In Australia we call speedos budgie smugglers!!!
I mean this in the nicest way possible but I don’t know if the blogosphere is ready for pictures of Mr. A in his speedo.
But just wait until M’s older and you can retell this story to her.
Oh and Lyndall- sometimes in the US people call Speedo Bannana Hammocks. Heeeee.
I totally disagree with jess’ comment and I, for one, am most certainly redy for a pic of A in his speedos…. and it’s not only because he is the father of all our children….
hehe – this reminds me of a SunSail holiday I went on in Turkey. I was a member of the teen-club bit (not a particularly enthusiastic member, i might add, but I tagged along anyway) but the one truly enjoyable part of the group was our policy, instigated by the Reps, who weren’t much older than us, of yelling “SPEE-DO! SPEE-DO!” at the top of their lungs any time they sore somebody where SPEEDOS walk by. if anybody else spotted the person, they would answer, “SPEE-DO! SPEE-DO!” and so the battle-cry of the teen-club echoed up the beach. *snork*
When I lived in Russia the men (old and young) would sunbathe at the fortress by the river. They all wore speedos that they would roll up into gstrings. Then they’d all lean against the wall in the sun. So if you were on the beach you were affronted with a huge line of cheeks, in various conditions, until they’d switch sides and then you’d see…well, way too much. I think A’s speedo wearing would be much less of a shocker than that, but of course the teeny boppers don’t have any point of comparison.
Could he please wear them when he comes over after Trick or Treat? He could be a triathlete for Halloween and I promise not to point and laugh!
I have to agree with Virginia on this one. Bring it on, A!
Ditto Jess – “Banana hammock” is how I think of them! But I must admit, “budgie smuggler” may become my new Speedo nickname of choice
So… Bring it on, A!
I have a similar dilemma, but a little less, um, graphic. My husband insists on wearing Wrangler jeans All The Time. He hangs left and the whole world knows it.
A manSpeedo is the sign of a serious swimmer. (In other words, I’m sure A looked better than my “serious swimmer” fifty-something father.K) However, they do have them made more like bike shorts these days. I’m just sayin’..
I am with afrindi… We girls flash our boobs and clevage and it is ok — it’s time for the return of man pack… In the renaissance guys wore cod pieces that left no doubt where “their brains were” — I am not advocating that — but a guy with a nice body in a speedo that contains and contrains everything well is a nice sight and as much a turn-on as the cutest swim suit model!
OMG you have me in tears. Thanks for the chuckle.
You know, maybe A just needs to move to France or somewhere else in Europe. We are reading guide books and apparently the only existing bathing suit in France is the speedo style. If a man goes to the public swiming pool and have to get a suit, thats what he gets. According to one guide book, the other kind isn’t even allowed.
I confess, I do find it interesting that women can be all but naked [some of those thongs styles--why do they bother?] and thats fine but a man in a speedo is considered shocking.
You go A! Wear what you like best.
It might be worse if he wore a non-Speedo for the triathlon. All the lifeguards I knew in high school wore Speedos under their regular red lifeguard swim trunks, because the waves can take those trunks right off. I guess triathlon’s that aren’t in the ocean might allow for more modest swimsuits.
hmmm… perhaps some things are best left the imagination, no?
*lmao* oh my god this is so funny.. what’s up with chinese guys? I remember going swimming with the HK part of our family at a water park. I have never seen these guys in nothing but khakis so I was shocked when they all came out of the locker room in speedos. Vinh had big baggy trunks on “yeah… they are from HK nevermind them. I am pretending I am not related to them.”
:0)