I have a friend named Jess. She doesn’t have any kids yet, bless her innocent and naive little heart. Jess doesn’t quite understand that saying something to a three year old is exactly the same thing as signing a contract with blood.
For example: About six months ago, my dad mentioned to M that it would be fun to go to the circus some day. Unfortunately, we were out of town when the circus came around so M didn’t get to go. Now, six months later, on a practically a daily basis, M talks about wanting to go to the circus with her grandpa. DAILY. I kid you not. The damn circus better hurry up and come to town again, or I may have to duct tape her circus loving mouth shut.
Over the weekend, we had our annual halloween get together when I overheard Jess talking to M: “You like the zoo? Maybe someday we can all go to the zoo together!”
M’s face lit up as she jumped up and down. “Zoo! Zoo! Let’s go to the zoo!”
At that point I stepped in and nipped that conversation in the bud. M hasn’t brought it up since then, but if she does, poor Jess is going to have to learn about the excruciatingly slow pace of a three year old watching manatees.
Later in the car, I was telling Mr. A about Jess’ zoo offer. Because I was telling the story when M could hear, I couldn’t just come out and say ZOO without risking jogging her memory about the exchange. Also, I couldn’t just spell Z-o-0 because that is the very first word M learned to spell.
Instead, I told Mr. A that Jess told M they could go to the “O-O-Z”. He got my meaning as we have used backward spelling before.
Then from the back seat, I heard M say “O-O-Z? Aw-Aw-Zzzz? Oh, wait, two O’s together is “oooooo”. Oooooz? What is ooooz mommy? Mommy did you know that O-O-Z is ZOO spelled backwards? I want to go to the OOZ! When can we go to the OOZ? OOZ…ZOO….Ooz…Zoo! I want to go to the Zoo!
Mr. A and I looked at each other and realized that we must stop teaching her to spell. Immediately.
Oooh. Oh, dear, that made me laugh. Then it made me realize that it is in my future, too. Oooh.
And I thought my boy (younger than Miss M) was clever when he correctly identified the “I” in his magnetic letters, and then turned the “H” sideways to show me that could be an “I” too.
That’s hilarious. My days of being able to talk about, say, “the animal storage facility” are numbered, aren’t they?
And I thought we were screwed when the dogs learned to spell!
That’s scary smart. A. may be winning the education race after all…
This is hilarious! I think you guys are waaaay out smarted. You are in BIG trouble!
Oh, I remember *that* day so well!! Now you will have to move on to “talking around it” in front of her. My son’s penguin blanket became “flightless aquatic birds”. We now lament that we don’t share a mutual second language. It’s not too early for you two to start!
Hey, man. The OOZ was Miss M’s idea not mine. And frankly, no one ever wants to go to the OOZ with me, so I was delighted at the invite. DELIGHTED, I say! I can’t wait. This is going to be so much fun…
Love,
Jess
Oh yeah. We stopped spelling awhile ago. Now we are in the complete ofucation mode.
Yeah, before you know it she’ll be running around saying ckuf! ckuf! ckuf! Doh.
I had a friend who suggested that we spell stuff backwards but then say the word pronounced backwards. The first thing we discovered was that “park” backwards is krap. so much for that idea…….
At least A sort of got it when you tried spelling backwards. Whenever I try it, my husband gets confused and goes “huh? what are you saying?” And if I tell him backwards, I hear the kids in the backseat [working together!] to spell whatever I am spelling in reverse……..