Ok, I am currently using my parents’ computer because we are having some semi-toxic work done at our house. So I hope you will understand why I can’t turn this into a huge post about a new concept I just read about on another blog today: A*nal Bleachin*g.
Oh God. The googlefest I would be doing right now if I were at my own house, but I can NOT let An*al Ble*aching show up in my parent’s google search history. But some day in the future, you should be prepared for the findings of my research.
Or, if you can’t help yourself, you can email me the results of YOUR googling and give me the details. Not that I want to DO it, mind you. I am just curious about why ANYONE would give a rats ass about the color of his or her an*us.
Until then, a meme:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I wonder whose toothbrush this is.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
$2.57 Sadly, I rarely carry cash.
3. Whats a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
who*re
4. Favorite planet?
Earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My cell phone is dead right now, but it was probably Chicagomama
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Huh?
7. What shirt are you wearing?
A black long sleeved T-shirt. It is laundry day.
8. Do you “label” yourself?
What is that supposed to mean?
9. Name the brand of your shoes youre currently wearing?
None, but usually I wear a pair of Rocketdogs.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
As bright as electrically possible.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I already told her how to pronounce MEME. She never listens to me, but I like her anyway.
12. What does your watch look like?
It looks like a cell phone. You know, because it is a cell phone. Do people really still wear watches?
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Tossing and turning in my childhood bed. 20 years of use can really wreck a mattress.14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?Obviously I am very old and out of the technological loop, because again, all I can say is: Huh?15. Where is your nearest 7-11? I think there is one about 7 miles from my house.
16. Whats a word that you say a lot?
Dude. Also Fuc*k, but not so much at my parent’s house.
17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Sleepy M.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
The cat that was mine before I developed allergies and pawned her off on my mom: Azrielle.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Only the magic lightbox. I could use some allergy meds though (see question 18)
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
ROLLS OF FILM? Dude, I am all digital. And I probably need to develop at least a years worth of pictures.21. Favorite age you have been so far?I dont’ really know.22. Your worst enemy?Uh, what am I, a superhero?23. What is your current desktop picture?
My parents don’t know how to change the desktop picture so they still have the Microsoft picture of a grassy hill.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
To my Dad: NO! I am not downloading files! And I didn’t download the MP3 thing that put that virus in your compter either. I don’t even know what to do with an MP3 File.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
WIth a million bucks, I could do a lot of flying on a plane. Plus, I could read US Weekly rather than paying attention to where we are going.
26. Do you like someone?
You mean like, LIKE LIKE someone? Just my husband.
27. The last song you listened to?
We are the Champions at the end of Dancing with the Stars.28. What time of day were you born?Around 5:00 am I think.29. Whats your favorite number?
5 or 7
30. Where did you live in 1987?
In an economically depressed, small city in the foothills of Appalachia
31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Sometimes I get jealous about people with a lot of money or skinny people. I try to get over it.
32. Is anyone jealous of you?
My sister. She is very skinny, but lacking the dough cash.
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
We had just moved into a new apartment. We had no furniture so we sat watching TV on a futon mattress in the living room. Also our phone wasn’t hooked up yet so I couldn’t call my family to tell them my new address and to confirm that SF wasn’t going up in flames.
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Kick it and shake it.
35. Do you consider yourself kind?
I try, but generally the snark wins out.
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I have a rather embarrassing tattoo. Fortunately it is not visible in the middle of my back.
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Chinese.
38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes. But I would rather not.
39. Are you touchy feely?
No.
40. Whats your life motto?
I don’t have one, but I try to remember to seize the day.41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?A clingy 3.5 year old. Underwear. A pair of fake diamond earrings.42. Whats your favorite town/city?
Hawaii was nice. I also liked Thailand. Cities don’t do that much for me.
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
I bribed M with twizzlers from a vending machine so I could shop at Pottery Barn Outlet. It was highway robbery because the bastards cost $1.00
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Today. A letter to the US immigration folks to update our fingerprints for the adoption.
45. Can you change the oil on a car?Yes, buy driving it to Quicklube.46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
He killed himself, so I don’t hear much about him these days.
47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
IN the 1300s some ancestor of mine had a castle in England. It is still there, but it is pretty crumbly.
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
A and I attempted to go out for a fancy dinner in Philly. We didn’t have reservations so we walked around for 45 minutes before we found a crappy seafood restaurant. I wore a flared 50s-ish skirt and a shirt that showed some cleavage.
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Thankfully, no.
50. Have you been burned by love?
Hasn’t everyone?
They were talking about that bleaching on The View yesterday. …..so interesting, yet so, ummm, gross.
About that bleaching thing. I occasionally follow a forum on a very large SF-based web site that rhymes with “Laigblist” and that is a frequent topic of discussion, right up there with landing strips vs totally bare and hoohah piercings. Honestly, it’s a whole new world out there. Anyhow, the consensus is that many P*orn stars bleach because it looks better on film. And that it’s become as popular in certain age groups (not ours, fur shur) that emulate the hooker/p*orn star look. Me, I’m not there. Ugh. The thought boggles the mind.
And then there’s the new dye product for downtown. You can dye what’s left after all those brazilians magenta, orange, blue, or other bright colors.
What is WRONG with women these days?
I think you should make your “what you do to vending machines” answer your life motto, too. It’d really work.
I wear a watch. I’m 40, and you’re 30? I think we have the generation gap right there. I have not always carried a cell phone and I like to know what time it is. Also, I like my watch.
I read in the New Yorker about labiaplasty. Everything can look younger, or at least tight and stretched!
My hairdresser started carrying pubic hair dye, because she was getting some complaints about gray in that area. But the dye color they’ve sold out of is hot pink. I actually think that is pretty cute.
Hey – um, this is kind of creepy. I went back to read your piece about Matt – it really touched me, and I’m so sorry for what happened. But, Matt died on exactly the same day as my father did – April 23 1995 (I was six). It makes me feel very strange.
Anyway, I’m sorry for your loss. And I really enjoy your blog – you’re a very clever person. When i want to know about racism and prejudice, I tend to come and trawl your archives.
Anal Bleaching has been all the rage with cool urban people for years. This is a good article I read.
http://www.villagevoice.com/people/0528,taormino,65754,24.html
Your ancestor’s castle is pretty crumbly? That cracked me UP!
I was ruminating on the bleaching at the gym and all I could come up with was someone afraid of a Brazilian.
I am way impressed that you know your ancestory back to the 1300s! Amazing! And @n@l ble@ching? I had never even thought of that before, but now I have questions…application, why, wouldn’t it sting? Don’t people have better things to spend money on?