by the numbers
1.) It turns out that getting our referral had one thing in common with the other big events in my life: It made me puke. I puked after I proposed to Mr. A. I puked when i was in labor with M. Then, yesterday morning I puked because my nerves got the better of me while I was waiting for The Call.
2.) Dawn wants me to tell you that it was her amazing feng shui advice which brought on my referral. After much debate about which areas of my house are my children and travel areas, Dawn decided the wall between the garage and the porch was the prime target. I balanced my Buddha from the Dalai Lama on the outlet in the wall. Because my house is weirdly shaped, it was possible that the living room/dining room areas are the child and travel areas. I lit candles there three nights in a row. To really overachieve, I cleaned out an entire half the basement which was directly under the living room and dining room. I even pulled up some of the nasty old vinyl tiles there. And Viola! I got my referral.
3.) I keep forgetting we have our referral. My mind will wander to the adoption and I immediately feel anxious and think of all the things that might go wrong so we won’t be expedited. Then I remember we already recieved our referral and we actually were expedited. It is very strange.
4.) Every time I walk by the baby’s picture, I think “Baby, who are you?” So far, I don’t have an answer to that question. We recieved very little information in our referral packet. Mostly just medical exam results. We didn’t get any information about her abandonment or where and when she was found. I was really counting on that information to give me some insight into her beginnings, her birth parents or something. But we have nothing but her blood counts. There were only a few tiny hints about her personality, likes and dislikes:
- Her favorite activity is lying in her crib (as if) thinking.
- She likes furry toys.
- She recognizes her name.
- She is closest to her caregiver.
- She likes listening to music.
- She can distinguish between acquaintances and strangers.
- She sucks her fingers.
- She has chubby ears.
That is just about all we know. We know about as much as a person would know from a personal ad. It is very strange.
5.) The gushing is just crazy. Because all we have is a picture, most of the good wishes we have recieved have been based on the baby’s cuteness. Now don’t get me wrong, I think she is cute enough, but I am not a gushy person. Also, she doesn’t really feel that connected to us yet. I have never been one to drool over other people’s kids, and that is exactly how I feel when I look at the pictures.
6.) Never fear! I never expected to fall in love with a photo, so I am totally cool with how I am feeling right now. I feel niether up nor down. I am getting excited about our trip. I can’t wait to meet the new baby and get to learn more about her. It is all good, even without the gushing.
7.) By request: MIL doesn’t know yet. We left a message for her to call us, but she hasn’t called back yet.
How does MIL feel?
I want to see what they send you. I think this is all so voyeuristically interesting and I’ve already sucked up all of Paige’s info and now NEED MORE!!!!
I didn’t fall in love with our photo either. I fell in love with the idea of her…but she wasn’t real until I held her in my arms. This whole process facinates me…I’ve learned so much about myself already. Good luck telling MIL
I felt the same way, the non-gushing way. I worried that her (this is going to sound crazy) poop was always going to really gross me out, like when I’m babysitting another persons child and I get grossed out (but it didn’t), I worried I would never feel more then like she was a child I was watching (but it didn’t feel that way at all).
Oh, and you will get that other information that you want in the mail in a few weeks, it will randomly show up one day. I think that the agency gets it then takes more time to translate that, then mails it on…..then we got updated pictures about 2 weeks before we travelled…
I can’t wait to hear about the MIL call, either….
I didn’t fall in love with our photos of children before we met them.
Really I didn’t.
I was grateful to know what they looked like because it was something but it was weird to sit and stare at the pictures and wait for something to happen.
So I think your normal.
Of course coming from me, I don’t know how reassuring that is.
Still I think she is damn cute.
I want me a baby.
Hopefully that will pass and sanity will be restored.
I didn’t really know who my first daughter was until after we had been home together for six months. It takes much more than a photo and a health exam checklist.
However, everyone else who looked at my daughter’s photo laughed and said, “You’re in trouble.” They were all right.
When do you travel? and
I’m waiting with baited breath to hear about MIL’s reaction.
I didn’t fall in love with a photo either - how can you? But I was captivated by who she might be. It’s a good feeling isn’t it? And I still feel that way after nearly two months. Who is she? I’m loving finding out. We did get her ‘attitude’ right at first guess though.
I don’t understand what your agency took an extra day to translate. It sounds like they didn’t translate any thing.
But she really is beautiful, and that isn’t just gushing.
I poured over the few words we had, analyzing each detail for possible hidden meanings. She’s still a wonder and a mystery. But in some ways, so was/is my son.
AmFam,
Congratulations! I met you once with Dawn and Paige (hi!) at a coffee shop where we talked about adoption. I was waiting on my little boy from Guatemala at the time. He has been here since May, but I know what you mean about the pics. After 9 months, I finally feel like I know him. I also have a bio son who is 6, so it is a different type of bonding. Not better or worse, just different. Happy wishes and swift travel to you.
She is gorgeous. I had a strange reaction to my daughter’s referral picture at first. As a matter of fact, I said she looked like my step-brother’s ugly, elderly father. Wierd. But as time went on, I totally fell madly in love with it. I started putting pictures of that child EVERYWHERE!!!!
Congratulations,
Christie (ALT bud)
I’ve analyzed to death. Still waiting on a translation of most of our refferral. I’m in love with something - hard to say - I’m thinking it is the idea of who she might be - so many possibilities. But I wanted to say - thanks for the feng shui. I’m trying to remember which night you told me about it - I lit the candle in the right area of the right room which I happened to be sitting in at the time. Was it that night that they mailed them in CHina??? I can’t remember? Anyway - I’m thinking it worked. Good job. Mucly appreciated.
Katie
Darn, I missed the picture! Why did I have to go do something lame like go out of town and visit family? lol
This is such great news, I am so happy for you that you finally got your referral! Congratulations!!!
Have you been spending all day looking at travel arrangements?
Belated congrats!
When do you travel???