Inauspicious Beginnings

Today’s visit with MIL started out particularly rocky. Usually, Mr. A and I present a united front, but today I was in the middle of watching an engrossing episode of the Dog Whisperer when MIL arrived so I neglected to stop it and get up for the greeting formalities.  This annoyed Mr. A, who —smart as he is—negected to remember that being on my bad side during a family visit.

So I was still annoyed that he was annoyed ten minutes later when he decided to show the baby’s photo to MIL. 

“Mom, here is a picture of our NEW DAUGHTER!” he said with much enthusiasm.

“Oh. OK.” she glanced at it, grimaced a little, then handed it back to Mr. A without saying another word.

I went back to watching the Dog Whisperer, because really, what can one say after that?

A few minutes later, Mr. A came to his senses and came out to apologize for being a jerk to me earlier, but I was having none of it. 

“You are mad at me for not pausing the television, but she just looks at your NEW BABY’S PICTURE and says *OK* and you are totally fine with that???!?”  I said as I turned up the TV to see exactly what was happening with today’s insane chihuahua. 

Mr. A looked properly chastized.  A few minutes later I heard him back in the playroom sternly explaining to his mother exactly what was wrong with her reaction and how we expect her to act (polite at a bare minimum!) with regards to the new baby.

The day moved forward at a brisk pace.  Mr. A took M and his mom to visit his father who recently moved about a block away from our house (have I blogged that yet?  I think it happened right before our referral and it has totally slipped my mind).  They are divorced and they do not seem to like each other at all.  Why A was taking them to visit, I do not know.  After about an hour, they came back home.

I should also mention that I think my MIL thinks I am totally taking advantage and mooching off Mr. A since I quit my job to stay home with M and the “OK” baby.*   When they came back home, I was still watching the Dog Whisperer. 

“So is this what you do all day when you are home?” MIL asked me when she saw me sitting on the couch watching TV.

M asked MIL to read her the Buddha comic book she gave Mr. A for Xmas.  They sat on the couch and for about an hour I heard little bits of the conversation between them:

“What is self immolation?…..Jade Rabbit…This guy is peeing on all those other guys??…the Monk…What are slaves?…How can you buy a person??”  I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about, but honestly I didn’t care.  Both M and MIL were occupied. 

Then we went out to dinner.  Dinner was when things really began to look up.  Mr. A and MIL managed to order some really good food that wasn’t on the menu.  At one point, I told M that we were going to get to eat great Chinese food all the time when we go to China. 

“You are going to China?” MIL asked.

“Uh, when we go to get the new baby.” Mr. A said.

“Oh, right.” Obviously MIL had completely forgotten about the new baby.

She looked puzzled for a minute. 

“If the baby is an orphan, how did it get a full name?  An orphan shouldn’t have a family name.”  She said.

“Oh.  They just gave her that name,” I said.  She said nothing.

Somehow the conversation turned to how Mr. A’s family originally decided to come to the States.  Apparently MIL never wanted to come, she married Mr. A’s dad because his father had given her father a big contract to build a building back when they were living paycheck to paycheck.  She felt obligated out of gratitude to marry him when she was asked.  She thought his family was rich so she could stay at home and have five children (!?!).  Instead, he insisted they come here.

Though MIL had wanted to be a Doctor, she didn’t have great grades so she went into biochemistry.  She came to the states to study dairy science.  This was a surprise, because there wasn’t really any demand for dairy products in Taiwan back then. 

As the conversation moved forward, we talked about Mr. A’s dad and some of his financial issues.  Out of the blue, MIL said, “You know, Mr. A, I wish your father well but we will never get back together!  We were very bad together.” Then she excused herself to the bathroom.

“Oh my GOD! You mom totally thinks you are trying to get them back together by forcing them to hang out with each other!”   I said. 

When MIL came back from the bathroom, she said again that she and FIL should never get back together.  Mr. A tried rather unsuccessfully to convince her that was not his intention.

The evening concluded with MIL explaining her theory of how the Jade Rabbit (the rabbit in the moon) offered himself as a sacrifice just like Jesus died on the cross.  She elaborated on how Buddhism and Christianity are completely compatible and overlapping philosophies.  She then wandered on to share her theory (garnered from a video borrowed from the library) of how Jesus may have traveled to India and learned the principles of Buddhism during the period of time that was not covered in the Bible.  Somehow she linked this back to the Jade Rabbit and it all seemed completely coherent to her. 

It was no Kosher Turkey story, but at least by the time she left, Mr. A and I were feeling quite amused.  At least it ended kind of funny, even if the beginning was quite disappointing (though completely predictable).

*And she thinks I can’t cook.  It was only this summer when she said to me, “Oh, I made you a chicken to take home because I know you never cook any nutritious foods for M.”  This time she brought us an entire pre-cooked ham.