Travel Update!
Today, we recieved confirmation that our travel approval has arrived. My agency is currently waiting to get our consulate appointment. Once we get that, a frenzy of plane ticket buying will begin. I am also following a number of different leads for guides and hotels. I am still hoping we can leave on February 17th.
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This past month has been full of weird emotions. I keep trying to sit down to write about them and nothing comes out. Because a long post just will not appear, I am just going to list them for future reference:
- I am treasuring these last days with M. I get weepy when we are dancing in the kitchen or cuddling in bed in the morning. I know we are about ready to rock her world and she will no longer be at the center of our universe. That makes me feel bad….in the long run, I know how much I want her to have a sibling and it is worth it, but it is still going to be a big adjustment for her. I am glad we waited until she was four because at least she has her own life now. She has school and friends that belong to her and her alone. She also has a routine that makes her life predictable and pleasant. We are going to do what we can to keep that up for her. We have prepared her the best we can. Now we just have to hope for the best.
- Due to the lack of any real information, I have created a complete fantasy about the orphanage where the baby is currently living. I have scrutinized every photo that I have access to, including those of our orphanage group. I have imagined that the babies are often out of their cribs and free to crawl around the floor. They have access to some toys. There is a decent ratio of caregivers to children. How do I know this? I don’t. But there are clues: caregivers changing babies on a playmat; a number of babies sitting, walking or napping on the mat in some photos; a tv on one end of the room, clean looking kids and floors, their cribs have mattresses and snuggly blankets. I have gleaned tiny bits of information from maybe 10-15 photos taken over the course of a year. Yes, I am aware that this is crazy and it is probably all just staged for the photos. For now, though, it is all I have to build an imaginary scenario.
Just wait until your two girls are BOTH dancing in the kitchen. That is going to be TOO cute!!!
But seriously, I heard that 3 1/2 – 4 is a good age for a first to get a sibling. They are much more independent and can handle it.
My daughter is approaching five and I feel the same way you do about M. At least they are a bit older and hopefully will be able to handle the transition from being an only child to having to share mom & dad with a new sister a little better than say a two year old.
I did not expect how much my youngest son (3 years older than his sister) would LOVE having his sister. They have so much fun together! Also, I remember that worrying about the orphanage. We saw pictures with wooden slats instead of mattresses. I was horrified but my husband was just like “Tons of folks sleep on mats on the floor in Asia, wood in the cribs is no big deal.” Goes to show how some of it is cultural!
DS-L
Whooo hooooo you have TA!
Congratulations on TA!
And I can totally identify with the part of your entry about up-ending M’s world. It’s tough. We’re still figuring it out here.
I really don’t believe those photos are staged. Your daughter has been receiving love and care and will soon meet her forever family. M will come to love her sister (and at times hate her, after all don’t we all feel that way about our siblings sometimes?). Trust, Enjoy, Believe
” I am treasuring these last days with M. . . . I know we are about ready to rock her world and she will no longer be at the center of our universe.”
This is one of my husband’s strongest memories of the arrival of our second child, our daughter. On the day she arrived, he took our son to the playground for the entire morning to hang out and have fun, and I remember him telling me how scared he was of what it would be like to have two children, and what it would do to P.
It definitely rocked P, and we had a number of challenging years, during which I wondered if P would ever recover from being de-throned. I shouldn’t have worried. We did what we thought was best – demanded civility and no hitting, supported each of the kids as individuals, but also built in lots of family time. They’re good buddies now, very close.
It all works out.
Ooooo, travel approval. You’re getting so close. I’m excited for you!
Congrats, Amber and family. I don’t know if you have checked out this travel website, but we got phenomenal prices on premium economy from them when we traveled in August. http://www.delightravel.com (yes, only one ‘t’ in the middle).
I hope you can get a quick CA so you can be on your way! Woot!
When I was pregnant with my second child, I worried and felt guilty all the time about how my son was going to be dethroned, and how much I would miss our alone time together. Then my daughter was born, and I felt guilty that he had all this time with just me, but that she had to share from the moment she was born! Now they are older (5 and 3) and I adore seeing them play together.