I wrote a portion of this in response to an email from Chicagomama, but I am posting it here because I am lazy. Also, the internet is being quirky, so you have to wait until we get to the White Swan tomorrow for pictures.
(Chicagomama, I added a little more info so you may want to read this, even if it is familiar. Also, Paige, if you have time to give me suggestions for the motor skills I would love to hear if there is anything we can do while we are here.)
Except for demanding that we hold and walk with her all the time, L is doing really well. She seems very very healthy, fits in 12 month clothes, has chubbier thighs than M ever had, has a good head of kind of loosely curly hair.
She does seem to have some fine motor delays (can’t pincher grasp cheerios has a hard time scooping small things up and then eating them). She may not have had a lot of opportunity, so we let her play with cheerios when she is willing to sit independently.
As for large motor skills, she can grip me like a freaking monkey and damn is she strong. I know she can sit, but she goes ballistic if we put her down so there is no way to see if she can crawl. I don’t think that she can, though the other babies in the group crawl really well. I know she can stand holding on to things or supported by us. Her sit is very stable, no toe pointing or wobbling, so that is good. Tomorrow I will try to see if she can locomote herself to things out of her reach.
Verbally, she makes some sounds. She consistantly says Amah or mamamama. Mr. A claims she was crying “wo mama” (my mama), but it was hard to tell in the hysterics. She said dadadada today. She blows raspberries and can stick out her tongue. She isn’t consistent with vocalizations, but today we heard a lot of new playing with sounds. She listens closely to
chinese kids songs, but doesn’t seem to have much recognition of my baby chinese words. She may try to say e le ma(are you hungry) which I ask her about 40 times a day.
Travel group is Ok. There are 4 new babies and 2 new 3 year olds. There are 3 four year old older sisters, one 8 year old older sister and one 8 year old older brother. It is kind of a madhouse of kids. Unusual, I think. They aren’t bad, but i am not going to make any new best
friends. Two of our group mates are of the baby head-garter persuasion, while I have dressed L in a black skull and crossbones tshirt. We are different types of parents, I think.
My mom is getting on my nerves for no real reason. probably just that we haven’t spent this much time together since I was in high school.
The china portion of the trip pretty much stopped when we joined the travel group. This is hotel-land not china. I miss china. It was much cooler. We went to a groovy park yesterday, went to a farming village today and also bought more than our fair share of cute kid and baby shoes. We bought extra suitcases to accomodate the booty.
I miss breastfeeding. Mixing formula is like repeating a bad high school chemistry experiment 5 times a day. It is sticky and it stinks. I think our poor formula hygiene (reusing disposable bottle liners) has given L a mild case of thrush. In the mornings when L cries and I am feeding her, my milk lets down, thus making me I a huge formula and breastmilk covered mess. I am not pumping until I get home, but it seems like a good sign.
edited to add: A wants to make clear that this is the second post today so be sure to read the one before this. I got a little too hasty in my posting enthusiasm! ~ Dawn
Ooh, I cannot wait to see pictures of the soft loose curl hair. It was so sweaty on L-Day that I couldn’t tell anything about it other than it look a lot better than in her referral pictures.
Her vocalization sounds wonderful. Zelda was basically mute for the first month that she was home. Go L!
And, as to the breastfeeding – it does sound like it is going to go pretty darn well. You should really check out Karleen Gribble’s articles on adoptive breastfeeding (if you haven’t already). They are really good.
Cant wait to hear more – talk to you soon!
Letdown is a great sign, even if it is messy for you. Yay!
Cannot wait for pictures!
The vocalization does sound terrific. Li didn’t say anything at all for the first ten days.
And you think you’re in hotel-land now, wait til you get to the Adoption Disneyland portion of your trip at the White Swan. Heh. Make sure you go across the bridge as much as you can and get off of Shamian, or you will go crazy.
Hey there! She sounds SO fabulous!!! Really—big leaps from day to day–and I’m not a bit concerned. In fact, I wouldn’t worry about anything developmental while you are away (although I would, and will, so my murmurings should be ignored) but here are some things you can do to promote fine motor work while you are there:
1. Spread goopier textured foods (like congee or even baby food on a plate or high chair tray?) and allow L to play with this while feeding her. I know it’s important not to interrupt the flow of food from you, but give her the opportunity to sweep food to her mouth on the side of her hand.
2. String a cheerio and wear it around your neck–encourage L to reach for it–(she will love to do this with M and A as well).
3.
Hey there! She sounds SO fabulous!!! Really—big leaps from day to day–and I’m not a bit concerned. In fact, I wouldn’t worry about anything developmental while you are away (although I would, and will, so my murmurings should be ignored) but here are some things you can do to promote fine motor work while you are there:
1. Spread goopier textured foods (like congee or even baby food on a plate or high chair tray?) and allow L to play with this while feeding her. I know it’s important not to interrupt the flow of food from you, but give her the opportunity to sweep food to her mouth on the side of her hand.
2. String a cheerio and wear it around your neck–encourage L to reach for it–(she will love to do this with M and A as well).
3.
hey, I submitted too soon–sorry!
3. use small objects to bang on the table or tile floor, or other hard surface (small blocks , rattles, rings from bottles–anything that encourages a grasp, will make a big noise and is fun. This will be another great M and L activity but really, she’ll probably like it best if the whole family is doing it. The more commotion, the better. You want to encourage grasping, movement, and ultimately, eye contact. If you are lucky, she may crawl to move closer to you if you do this on the floor.
4. Isolate a few cheerios or raisins or other small items in a bowl. The bowl sides really aide the grabber and a piece or two seems less overwhelming.
5. Play the put it in, take it out game, with small socks, hair clippies, rattles, bottle rings, in the camera bag or another container. Use somthing fairly deep so that her whole arm is engaged in the task. Model the desired behaviors over and over, and feel free to dump things out of the bag, if taking them out is too challenging for her.
For crawling, M is really your best ally. She can model all sorts of behavior that look like fun.
If L seems willing to consider locomotion, wrap a towel around M’s waist and have M model crawling with someone holding the towel. Everyone should look like it’s F-U-N! L might want to try it. Have M crawl (with or without towel) to one of L’s favorite toys. Make sure L is sitting close so that she can also get to it if she is willing. This is much less likely to happen until she feels secure and comfortable. If she is willing to get on hands and knees, but not locomote, I would crawl to be on the other side of her, offering eye contact and silly faces, and gradually, allow room for L to crawl to you.
I know we’ve talked about it before, but I think it’s important to remind you (and your 8 jillion readers) that developmental delays in one or more areas are not unlikely, and are even expected. With orphange babies, I adjust age based on time in care. With L, (I can’t remember if you’ve told people how old she is) you should look at the developmental tasks of a baby half her age and expect that she can meet them easily. Once she is home, you would expect that she will gain 2 months of development for every one that she is home. You will (as you are doing) work on developmental tasks that she seems ready for, but you also know that there may be some lags here and there (not that I see a single one!). In Astrid’s case, she’ll be close to 6 months when we bring her home, but I will expect her to have mastered the developmental tasks of a 3 month old. Within 3 months of our homecoming though, I assume she will function much like other 9 month olds, and I will of course seek EI services if we need them. Just an FYI!
Let me know if there’s something else you’d like to work on–I’m full of boring games!
Kisses to the lassies,
p
***Had our first 4.2 earthquake last night–we should probably learn a little more about what to expect
So glad to hear things are turning around. For what it’s worth, I don’t think you will get a very accurate picture of her development, especially gross motor skills, while you’re in China. You may see a different child once you get home. Plus your floors are cleaner at home — it’s easier to give her room to show her stuff. “Doris Day” makes some great suggestions too.
oooh, its like a vicarious referral!
look as far as your travel group with the frilly frou-frous are concerned, DITCH ‘EM sister! We never really bonded with our big travel groups either [different parenting/eatting/traveling styles] and used our older kid adoption as a great excuse to bail, especially with child #1 who was not only older but a BOY. But honestly, except for those few appointments, there is NO reason to stick like glue to people you don’t really feel comfy with.
You and A can handle speaking Chinese and you aren’t afraid of being in a new place. My unsolicited advice to you is go find your own meals and explore and enjoy yourselves.
I would add that our slightly older kids would just get a “deer in headlights” look at the tables full of peculiar looking white people. I have come to believe that those mass dinners are actually hard on the kids–even the little ones— and that most people would do better if they stayed in smaller groups or just with their family. but not necessarily just in the hotel room. I think getting out and walking around is great and helps make those wierd new people so darned noticable.
as for the back ache, with child number two we found a sling [maya wrap style] worked really well. We would sling our giant baby [toddler actually] on one hip and it did great stuff for relieving our arms. I think you could just hit a chinese fabric market and buy a really long piece of something pretty and make your own by tying it. In a lot of ways, the metal loops are sort of a pain. I mean, all those women with slings in africa and latin america don’t use metal loops.
also, you really have to watch out on the carrying stuff. they need it and we must give it to them but if you are just using your arms, there can be some lasting negative effects. One friend had a child who maybe weighed 25 pounds. Good mom that she is, she carried her daughter everywhere in China because that was what the child needed. The problem was that it stressed her elbows and gave her a lasting case of tendonitus or whatever its called. Five years later, she still has problems carrying things.
keep posting—you are a highlight of my miserable work day!
As a special Education Teacher I have an idea also to complement Doris Day’s for motor skills-
1. Take break and squish it up (using the inside part, not the crust)- it will make a simple doughy consisitency- see if the baby will squish and play with it (it will strenghten the hand muscles). M will probably like this too!
yeah- it was suppose to say BREAD not BREAK. Aghhh – long week!
Whohoo about the milk let down! Glad to hear it.
Also glad that L is big and healthy. Am wondering if her fine motor skills will develop quickly now that she has a chance to hone them. Can’t wait for pictures!