The Big Questions
M continues to struggle with figuring out what seem to be the Big Three Questions on her mind: Religion, Sex and Race.
Quotes from M this afternoon (no wonder she wears me out!):
1) When given a lovely white scarf by a friend who traveled to Ethiopia:
Friend: You can wear it wrapped around your head like the girls in Ethiopia, like this.
M: Oh, like Mary. I can wear it when I play baby Jesus.
2) M: Mama, do dogs have vulvas?
Me: Uhh. I don’t know. I don’t think they do. Girl dogs have vaginas and boy dogs have penises, but I don’t think that girl dogs have vulvas. We might have to get a book from the library to find out.
M: Mama, do dogs have two penises?
Me: No, boy dogs just have one. Why do you ask?
M: Well how does the Mama dog have two babies in her belly at the same time then?
3) A little bit later:
M: Mama. Sometime I want to see dogs make puppies. Then I will understand how that works.
4) M (studying her It’s not the Stork book): Mama, how do mama’s get the egg inside them? Do they take it from the chicken or the refrigerator?
Me: No, honey. It isn’t that kind of egg. It is a different kind of egg that a woman’s body makes. That is different from the kind of egg that a chicken’s body makes.
M (still studying the picture of the chicken egg in the book): Well, how does the chicken make ITS’ egg? Does it glue the halves of the shell back together? How does it get inside the chicken?
5) M: What does crucified mean? Do you think you will ever be crucified?
Me: I hope not!
6) At the lunch table:
M: Mama, do you know that all the people in this family have things that are different?
Me: Yes, there are things about us that are different. Can you think of any examples?
M: Our hair is all different. And we all have different eyes.
Me: That is true. We DO all have different hair. And our eyes all look a little different from each others too. But there are many ways we are the same. Can you think of any?
M: Yes. Our anuses. All our anuses are the same. They are all green.
Me: ?????? Our anuses are not green kiddo. The skin might be a little bit browner than the rest of our skin, but they aren’t green.
M: What if we eat a lot of green foods?
Me: Well, then I guess maybe your POOP might be a little green, but not your anus. Unless you didn’t wipe very well.
M (hopping up from the table): I always wipe my anus clean. Do you want to see?
Me: No, M. Eat your lunch.
Finally, a question from a kid that I am actually qualified to answer! Let Miss M, know that yes, girl dogs do have a vulva. Having all girl dogs, you get to be a bit more knowlegeable on anatomy. Although, you should have seen the look on my vet’s face when I went in one time and referred to one our girl’s vulvas and called it “vulva”. I thought I had the name wrong, and he said, “No, that’s right”, then he went on to say, “you should hear some of the things that people call it, hoochie, etc….” It was pretty funny.
M is scary smart. And very chatty. I don’t get questions like that very often…they’re usually in the car, too…
Ha ha ha. The green anus is the kind of thing my kid would say when we had people over for dinner.
Curious girl!
omg. TOO funny and smart for words.
Kids who ask questions like this end up in the gifted and talented programs. Hope your school has a good one, because that is one very bright child! She’s thinking all the time. I love it.
What a great post for me to read at work…thanks for the smiles~!
Oh my goodness I am at work and I nearly wet my pants trying not to laugh too loud reading this. You should put a warning in the title!!! Thanks – just what I needed today.
Gotta love it. Things that make you go hmmm.
Gotta love a little anus conversation over lunch!
She cracks me up! Curiousity is a good thing.
-violet
Isn’t parenting a fantastic job? Son is busy dealing with death. Iam always on high alert now when he starts a conversation when I/’m in the middle of clauning a toilet or potatopeeling.
Too cute!!
~Carla
Holy crap – that was all in one day? I’m suddenly hoping my kiddo is dumb as a rock because I couldn’t handle all of those questions in one day without a couple of stiff drinks.
Love your entries :0)
I forgot to mention we bought its not the stork and its so amazing. Marcus had the typical boy response and just wants to talk about zoo animals. Corinne on the other hand is obsessed! She woke vinh up sunday by shoving the picture of the penis in his face “DADDY YOU HAVE A PENIS SEE! Happy father’s day”
M is too cute BTW.
She is so great.
Ah, you saved the best for last.
I am also loving what M might think of Calder’s anatomy….
OK, the green anus comment made latte’ come out of my nose. She is scary smart isn’t she…?
Oh yeah, BTDT (except the Jesus one)
Today I was asked “where is our womb cuz I want to feel it!” When I explained it was small, about the size of the thumb, she was upset because then she would have to give birth to Thumbalina! Sigh… I explained expansion…
She is too funny…never a dull moment in your home huh?
Hee-hee! The green anus comment made me laugh out loud. Do you try and keep a straight face when M says things like that, or do you crack up?
“M (studying her It’s not the Stork book): Mama, how do mama’s get the egg inside them? Do they take it from the chicken or the refrigerator?”
AH! This is too funny!
Bwahahahahahahaha.
I was having a “not-so-fun” day until I read this post. It made me really (really) laugh. All of it. Thanks. You brightened up my day…laughter is so wonderful.
Bravo, M. Bravo!
OMG! Reading this wore me out. She is hilarious.
Too funny…I almost feel sorry for you because this means “you” always have to be quick and think of good answers!LOL At that age mine would ambush my husband in check-out lines at the stores…he finally started saying “could you just ask your mom when we get home…please”
Love this. Sounds a lot like conversations at my house.
The green anus conversation just made me laugh out loud…good thing I didn’t read this at work! Bright girl you got there…those are all great (and freakin hilarious) questions!
I have frequently lingered over lunch discussing a**holes with friends but none of them had the name of anus. She is a pip!
Hilarious! I’m really looking forward to when our little one starts to come out with things like this!
You know, if the leaders of the world would just acknowledge that no matter our differences, all our anuses are the same, we might finally achieve world peace.
HI Amber
I haven’t commented in a long time (since we were in the process to adopt from Taiwan which was interupted and has not been resumed)
Anyway, I still read along. Congats on arrival of L – I’m so sorry I’ve not even posted a congratulatory note prior to this – realised today how rude this is to post and not comment.
This second (or is it 3rd?) entry referencing Its not the stork has been enough to get me to log onto amazon and order it for our 4 y.o thanks for the continued mentions of it.
M is hilarious! thanks for the chuckles
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