Comments on: Mother issues http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/ Fri, 21 Nov 2008 06:56:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: American Family » storm a brewin’ http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-86790 American Family » storm a brewin’ Mon, 30 Jun 2008 04:00:29 +0000 http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-86790 [...] It was almost one year ago to the day that my mom and I had a big blow-out fight (which I apparently barely blogged) about me not wanting her to read the “Jesus book” to M.   [...] [...] It was almost one year ago to the day that my mom and I had a big blow-out fight (which I apparently barely blogged) about me not wanting her to read the “Jesus book” to M.   [...]

]]> By: jenn http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-47259 jenn Thu, 28 Jun 2007 19:53:53 +0000 http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-47259 so familiar, so very very familiar. in our house, not only is there the issue of TOO DAM#@d much stuff but she insists on buying things that the kids just plain don't like. For example, she always buys Z dresses which Z will not wear and which I have told her Z will not wear. In fact, Z recently had me sell ALL of her wonderful hanna anderson dresses with leggings. Once Z hit 7, fighting over what to wear is just not worth the effort. Z is a black pants kind of girl and thats it. My mother hits her second hand stores or target or ross and gets clothes for the kids but before sending anything, she stores it in her mildewy east coast basement so it picks up a fine aroma. And then she mails things in boxes/bags from same basement. Even after days in transit, you can smell the mold on everything. I can hardly open the packages and all the stuff has to be washed immediately. Of course, being older and a smoker, my mother insists that we are making up the smell because we don't like her. In my dreams I get my mother to give us all the money she spends on shipping and clothes that don't fit to put in the kids college fund. Reality is so very different. so familiar, so very very familiar. in our house, not only is there the issue of TOO DAM#@d much stuff but she insists on buying things that the kids just plain don’t like. For example, she always buys Z dresses which Z will not wear and which I have told her Z will not wear. In fact, Z recently had me sell ALL of her wonderful hanna anderson dresses with leggings. Once Z hit 7, fighting over what to wear is just not worth the effort. Z is a black pants kind of girl and thats it.

My mother hits her second hand stores or target or ross and gets clothes for the kids but before sending anything, she stores it in her mildewy east coast basement so it picks up a fine aroma. And then she mails things in boxes/bags from same basement. Even after days in transit, you can smell the mold on everything. I can hardly open the packages and all the stuff has to be washed immediately. Of course, being older and a smoker, my mother insists that we are making up the smell because we don’t like her.

In my dreams I get my mother to give us all the money she spends on shipping and clothes that don’t fit to put in the kids college fund. Reality is so very different.

]]> By: Liz http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-47160 Liz Wed, 27 Jun 2007 21:46:11 +0000 http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-47160 We've been struggling with my mom on this too. Here's our the conversation goes: Me: Mom, we don't put her in dresses. Mom: But dresses are so cute. Me: Mom, we don't put her in dresses, but she does need some (shorts, pants, whatever fancypants thing that we prolly wouldn't shell out for ourselves) Mom: But dresses are so cute. Me: Mom, until she's old enough to want dresses, we're not going to make her wear them. When she has an opinion, we'll certainly respect it. Most of the time, about a week later, we get something similar to what I mentioned we needed in the mail. But now and again, something truly hideous/a dress (sometimes, it's both!) arrives and we have the conversation all over again. It absolutely confirms that my mom rarely 'listens' to me and of course, that she thinks little girls should only ever wear dresses. Drives me up the fucking wall but right now I'm sort of at peace with it. Until the next thing arrives and we go around on this again. No real wisdom here but oh yes, god yes, I feel your pain. Did you get receipts for the things she bought? We've managed to wrangle a few of them from my mom and wound up getting some seriously cute shit with the credit. We’ve been struggling with my mom on this too. Here’s our the conversation goes:
Me: Mom, we don’t put her in dresses.
Mom: But dresses are so cute.
Me: Mom, we don’t put her in dresses, but she does need some (shorts, pants, whatever fancypants thing that we prolly wouldn’t shell out for ourselves)
Mom: But dresses are so cute.
Me: Mom, until she’s old enough to want dresses, we’re not going to make her wear them. When she has an opinion, we’ll certainly respect it.

Most of the time, about a week later, we get something similar to what I mentioned we needed in the mail. But now and again, something truly hideous/a dress (sometimes, it’s both!) arrives and we have the conversation all over again.

It absolutely confirms that my mom rarely ‘listens’ to me and of course, that she thinks little girls should only ever wear dresses. Drives me up the fucking wall but right now I’m sort of at peace with it.

Until the next thing arrives and we go around on this again.

No real wisdom here but oh yes, god yes, I feel your pain.

Did you get receipts for the things she bought? We’ve managed to wrangle a few of them from my mom and wound up getting some seriously cute shit with the credit.

]]> By: Annie Malbutface http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-46983 Annie Malbutface Tue, 26 Jun 2007 13:27:28 +0000 http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-46983 When situations like this arise, I think to myself, "What would Jesus do?" When situations like this arise, I think to myself, “What would Jesus do?”

]]> By: lisa http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-46948 lisa Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:00:46 +0000 http://american-family.org/2007/06/25/911/#comment-46948 I'm so sorry-that is tough to deal with. But Peg is right about not getting sucked in-in fact, my mother gave me similar advice a couple of months ago. She had an unpleasant exchange with my sister about me "changing" jobs. She told me about it because she inadvertently shared information that she felt was my private stuff. But she warned me "do not call her-let her work through it on her own"-sure enough, last week my sister very enthusiastically and sincerely congratulated me on my new job. I'm "lucky" in that my mother and mil are both very independent secure women, and I am often startled by the experiences of many of my friends-but, just to be clear, having a mother who loves me but thinks her job was done 20 years ago and my life is my own-sometimes is a little lonely-so it's all relative. You clearly want her involved, so it may take some hard thinking to propose balance to her. I've had to pull my mother over a bit and show her where I would like support. Fortunately, my parents are atheists-though MM is scaring me with reference to her parents suddenly pulling out Jesus. I don't think it could happen?!... ~lmc I’m so sorry-that is tough to deal with. But Peg is right about not getting sucked in-in fact, my mother gave me similar advice a couple of months ago. She had an unpleasant exchange with my sister about me “changing” jobs. She told me about it because she inadvertently shared information that she felt was my private stuff. But she warned me “do not call her-let her work through it on her own”-sure enough, last week my sister very enthusiastically and sincerely congratulated me on my new job.
I’m “lucky” in that my mother and mil are both very independent secure women, and I am often startled by the experiences of many of my friends-but, just to be clear, having a mother who loves me but thinks her job was done 20 years ago and my life is my own-sometimes is a little lonely-so it’s all relative. You clearly want her involved, so it may take some hard thinking to propose balance to her. I’ve had to pull my mother over a bit and show her where I would like support. Fortunately, my parents are atheists-though MM is scaring me with reference to her parents suddenly pulling out Jesus. I don’t think it could happen?!… ~lmc

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