The Rules
Ok, since it has happened twice in two weeks, I think we need to review the ground rules here on my blog.
Debate is fine. To have a good debate, it isn’t necessary for there to be name calling.
If you wouldn’t say it to my face, don’t say it here.
Do I think Julia would walk up to me in my living room and say my parenting choices are parallel to Lindsey Lohan’s mothers choice to let her daughter break the law by drinking and going to bars as a teenager?
I am guessing that Julia doesn’t treat people like that in her real life? Or maybe she does and that is why she has such a humongous chip on her shoulder.
I gave her a chance to apologize, and this is what she said: “I do apologize for stating my views so boldly, but there you have it - they’re still my views and what I believe.”
This is a very sad excuse for an apology when you walk into my living room and shit on my rug. The problem isn’t stating your views so boldly, it is the fact that you called me a bad parent.
You could have said, “Wow, I don’t use that language when I talk about sex with my kids! I would be surprised to hear that from a four year old.” Then we could have had a nice little conversation about how different families address these topics.
Instead, you had to be a jerk.
If you act like a jackass, you will be banned. I have comment moderation on for a reason. As much fun as a good fight can be (not to mention how it sends my stats through the roof—boy you guys really like to watch a trainwreck) that is not why I have a blog. Be an asshat on your OWN blog, not mine.
So just to be crystal fucking clear, Julia and Shelley, you are no longer allowed to be part of the conversation here.
July 25th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
Hello American Family I would like to say good for you!! i agree with you completely in this post. And I as much I enjoy reading you blog and sometimes don’t agree, I can think of a thousands ways to be nice about it. (I can’t believe that adults behave like that, assuming that they are adults) As we say it in my school, Julia and Shelley ARE HATERS! As you can see from you comments there are more fans and people to back you up! Don’t let the haters, hate on you, you have other things to think about. Rock on American Family!!!!!!
July 25th, 2007 at 4:43 pm
Every once in a while, I click at random on others’ blogrolls to check out new blogs. Today, I found yours, and I felt compelled to throw in my two cents.
Unfortunately, not everyone can respect the way we parent our kids. And, that sucks. If those of us parents who love and nurture our kids were allowed to do it without criticism or ridiculous critique, I truly believe the world would be a much better, enjoyable place for us and our kids.
It’s one thing to politely disagree, but the comparison that Julia made was completely out of line and unconstructive.
From what I’ve read so far, you’re doing an amazing job with your blog. Keep up all the great work and know that you have a new reader.
July 25th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
(Day Two)
Hi -
First, let me apologize for my behavior yesterday. You may or may not believe this, but it was very unlike me to post a negative comment about parenting on someone’s blog and I shouldn’t have done it. I could go into what led me to do it, which had very little to do with your post by the way, but more my own frustrations building up at other things which led up to reading your blog as an “escape” and then I found something that wasn’t right for my family (I’ll get back to that statement in a sec), and I wrote it in haste when I should have just walked away or moved on.
I do enjoy your blog, and while I don’t agree with everything anyone says, I like your point of view on things and often times you give me a different perspective on something which I hadn’t considered before. Different perspectives are good and I love a healthy debate. Obviously the way I generated that was not appropriate, so I was a poor example when I was calling what you were doing inappropriate.
Now, to get back to “what I believe” that I mentioned above. After considerable (and I do mean LOTS) of chatting with my friends, my brothers and sil’s, and (God help me) my mom, who loves any good reason to critique my choices, the vast majority believe I have not given my kids enough information on the subject of anatomy and biology. I could go into more gory details, but suffice it to say, you’ve changed my mind, and my thoughts today on the subject are very different from what I wrote yesterday. It’s my nature to go slow at this topic, I admit to not being that comfortable talking about it with my kids, so I’ll need to get that way before I start blundering around and just confusing the ever living heck out of them! But I’ll do my research on this and thank you for moving me in a different direction.
And yes… this is the “real” me. The woman yesterday needed a little less caffeine and a nice long nap.
Julia
July 25th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Julia
That was one of the best apologies i have ever read, and gosh it makes me say I am sorry for calling your actions, rude, nasty adn judgmental. I apologize as well, and hope that you will stay in the conversation. So few of us have the ability to own our mistakes as beautifully and honestly as you just did. And that deserves kudos.
And I still want to hear what you are going to tell your kids about the birds & bees, as everyone’s perspective always helps me when talking to mine. And I do still wonder what is age appropriate for kids, and how much info one should give when. That is a conversation I would love to have over here.
chicagomama
July 25th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Julia, your words are genuine and it takes a big person to do what you did. To all the moms here, from someone (as I stated yesterday) is not a two-legged-kid-parent, I’d love to hear wha tyou plan to tell your kids, how much and when. I’m learning alot here and banking it all away for future use….some day….
July 26th, 2007 at 12:01 am
Wow, I’m impressed.
The thing that impresses me the most is seeing myself in Julia’s words. I am out of sorts today and I think that may have colored my comment regarding Mr. A’s Crocs. I really don’t care what he wears. I do hate Crocs on adults, but why should I cut loose on someone like that just because I can?
Tell him to buy another pair.
Julia,
Very impressive.