I am an introvert who happens to really like to socialize. I know this seems contradictory but this definition of introvert may explain it better than I can:
Introverts often avoid social situations because being around people drains their energy. This is true even if they have good social skills. After being with people for any length of time, such as at a party, they need time alone to “recharge.”
It is an unfortunate fact of life for me that my children are people. Just because they happen to be MY people doesn’t mean they don’t suck the energy right out of me. By the end of a week of spending all day with my shorties, I am wiped out. I need some ALONE time so I can stop being so exhausted.
But I really do like to socialize. A lot. I am a little shy with new people, but people I know are no problem. I love to talk and hang out. It just happens to wear me out to do it.
Every 6 months or so, Mr. A and I bemoan the lack of good couple friends who live near us. Actually, we have lots of friends here but we don’t have any couple friends that we see on a very regular basis. This is totally our own fault.
We have lots of good friend prospects (friends who could make the jump from friends to GOOD friends — you know, the kind of people you want to go with on vacation), but we haven’t put in the time to bump them up. One factor is Mr. A’s crazy schedule. We don’t know until Thursday or Friday if he is going to be working all weekend or not, so we can’t make plans until the last minute. And our kids go to bed by 7:15, so childless friends are bumped out by the schedule. Then there is the fact I am an introvert and I am so freaking TIRED.
This weekend we are having one of our two annual big parties. A few of my favorite friends can’t come, but there are a good number of new prospects who will be there. Mr. A and I are on a mission to bump some people up. I am also going to try to organize a new playgroup so I have some people to see during the week.
randy is exactly how you described yourself. i on the other hand, am an extrovert so i totally recharge being around people. that being said, i don’t mind alone time either.
i’m bummed we can’t make it to the party. i wish i could. i think that making couple friends is hard when both couples have kids, you know? i think it’s a lot easier when one of the couples doesn’t, and is really willing to come over to your house to hang out. we had that for a good long time with some of our friends, and it was awesome. damn them for adopting their daughter! (not really. well. a little?
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if you ever wanna go out for coffee (or whatever) sans kids, feel free to email or call me. seriously.
I’m the same way and I have to maintain a careful balance of alone/social time to stay connected and recharged. MD has turned into a complete introvert, hell, hermit. It stinks.
I am exactly the same type of introvert! Sometimes I feel so torn– I feel lonely and want to see my friends, but am already exhausted from kids/work/family that it makes me feel drained even thinking about it!
I’ve resolved to throw a party or gathering once a month from now on, and also to try and make some new friends among my girls’ kindergarten class this fall– their parents, I mean
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I’m that sort of introvert, too. People don’t get it, for the most part, unless they’re of the same stripe.
I’m not that kind of introvert. I could live by myself (with Brett, because being with him is like being alone) pretty much forever. Occasionally I’d want to go to the movies.
I just found out that not only will we not be at YOUR fun event (and we found out the car will be like $700-ish) but that we will be going to my dad’s for a NON-FUN event. So it’ll be all the energy-sucking of any party but it will be a bad party. Yeehaw!
My supervisor and I are actually both that kind of introvert (I’m 27-0 on MB) and our job involves lots of social/relationship stuff-so I am frequently done done done when I am off work. People don’t get it, because they see me going to events and acting like a social butterfly walking up and introducing myself to people, which I really enjoy and it makes me good at my job-but then I need to sit down at the loom for several hours, sometimes I can’t even handle music, to recharge. J is an introvert, but more balanced, and he frequently wants to go dancing in the evening-he doesn’t get it when I say I would rather dance at home, because dancing is his primary social outlet.
Couple friends are often complicated for us by the age difference-my closest friend is 13 years younger than I and, since J is 10 years older-our partners often don’t speak the same language. We are having another run at it tomorrow night for a bbq, but I have been on the hunt for a while for couple prospects that are a better fit (currently most of them are his age+, which will be tougher when the kid arrives)… ~lmc
I’d never thought of describing introverts and extroverts that way until my moms group facilitator lady said the exact same thing last week. I always thought I was an introvert (super duper scary embarassingly shy) but now I’m realizing I get recharged hanging out with my friends… not my baby though. He’s draining. And I’m totally going to start calling him “my shorty”.
Hi, 1st time commenter, somewhat longtime reader, we’ve been home from China for 8 months now. If I had a blog, I ‘d definitely say that you hijacked my post. Damn, you’re on.
I’m a similar type of introvert. Adding the second baby made me shrink back from most social obligations because I suddenly had no time to recharge (and, given that the first one has always been high needs, I hadn’t had much time anyway). Gah.
I figure I just need to hang on by the tips of my fingers for a few more years before I can claim a life again.