Wow. So I guess I should just spend more posts asking you all a bunch of questions, then I wouldn’t have to post at all! Heh.
I have read all the comments. I agree with some, not so much with others, but it is all neither here nor there. Mr. A and I sat down last night to have a big School Discussion which evolved into a State of Our Grad & Law School Debt Discussion. Things went down hill fairly rapidly from there as my childhood insecurities around debt took hold and turned me into a flaming maniac. But I digress.
The reason we have been thinking so much about private school (in the last two months) is because of M.
I am hoping you can all humor me and understand I am not writing this to be braggy. I don’t have a lot invested in having a super-smart kid. Unfortunately, I am afraid that is what we are looking at.
M is four and a half. Over the past year, at the suggestions of Paige I started teaching her to read with this book. For a long time, M enjoyed it, but it was no big deal. Then, somewhere around lesson 80, she realized she could actually read OTHER THINGS. And then the snowball effect began.
In the last two months, M went from reading only that book to reading EVERYTHING. She reads cereal boxes, scraps of papers, commercials on TV and books. Lots of books. We aren’t talking about Hop on Pop or even the Bob Books. Yesterday she read Amelia Bedelia, only needing help with the cursive writing on a few pages. I even caught her trying to read Ramona the Pest, a chapter book.
I am guessing her reading level is currently at the beginning second grade level. She won’t be in second grade for three more years. Heck, she can’t even start KINDERGARTEN for another year. And reading isn’t the only thing she is interested in. Since she is more advanced than the reading materials they have at her preschool she has now switched over to more math for her daily work. The other day she begged me to teach her FRACTIONS for crying out loud.
I have to say, it is scary watching M grow up because she is so very very much like me. I was the kid who was sneaking Little House on the Prairie books in my desk to read while the rest of the class was reading “Sun UP. The Sun was UP. Buffy was UP. Mack was UP.” I was never, ever challenged by my decent for the area rural school. By the time I got to college, I knew without a doubt that I was academically behind the kids who came from good schools (suburban city schools, private schools). It scared the crap out of me. Mr. A went to a better suburban school district and he felt more prepared for college. But still, he isn’t sure that is the best choice for M.
Our local public school is a good one. It is definitely better than decent.
But do they have the ability to keep M engaged in learning, if she is several grade levels above the rest of her class?
Both Mr. A and I are against grade skipping. We both have a somewhat jaded opinions about Talented and Gifted programs. We both think same-sex education is really a great idea for girls by middle school and high school. We both know we can’t really afford the fancy girls school for M in kindergarten or first grade. Maybe by 5th grade we could swing it. And we don’t want to separate L and M, so we will have to swing it for both of them. And we also have no idea what might be best for L yet because she is so little.
We can both come up with about a hundred arguments against private school in theory. But in practice, we are pretty sure the girls school might be the best place for M academically. Our current plan is to send her to the local kindergarten and see how it goes.
If they don’t do a good enough job, we will have to consider our options. They aren’t the worst options, but they aren’t what we initially planned either. To swing private school tuition before our debt is paid off we might end up living in this small house a lot longer than we thought. I would have to go back to work. A lot of things would have to change.
Parenting is hard.
Austin is going into the 1st grade, reading at nearly 3rd. I’m freaked because I’ve heard that they will “hold him back” from excelling at reading. Now he’s doing this crazy math stuff too. YIKES. I’m not sure, but won’t the expensive girls school STILL keep them at age appropriate levels unless you skip them ahead? It’s so hard when you have a child reading so well so young.
Can I just jump in here to say that I’m totally impressed with M’s desire to read Ramona the Pest? I loved that book and read it a million times when I was kid. But um, at 4 1/2? Nope.
Very super impressive. I want to say also that what might be right for one kid is not necessarily right for another. It’s important to have a good fit for each kid. I have two daughters and they are light-years apart, personality wise and in academic ways. PS. I’d vote for the private school for M.
So why not home school? It sounds like you have a good start on it already and a willing student. Our state is in the bottom 5% academically for public schools. I actually know more home-schoolers than regular school people and they seem to be thriving. There is an enormous network of home schoolers here, so they aren’t left out at all socially.
Seriously, consider home schooling! Try it for this school year. If it doesn’t work out, send M to kindergarten next year as planned. My daughter is super-close to the kindergarten cutoff–if she were born four days later, she’d be too young. For reasons I can’t get into without taking over your blog, I don’t want to send her to either private school or public school. So this is what’s working for us.
Wow. Have you been to the super private school? or do you know parents (not the brochure ones, but ones who will complain openly)? I am not from your area, of course. To use an anecdote over actual data
My area has the “super” private school. And I always assumed it would be superb at dealing with kids ahead of the curve. In one of those through the grapevine (thus no guarantee it is accurate), a mom and I were discussing a super-bright kid, I said, well, that’s the best place. And a mom whose three children went there said, you’d think so, but it really is bad at dealing with kids more or less than an above-average kid. Their curriculum is great from the above average but not for the kid much out of the norm. And chapter books at 4 1/2…
And not too be too contrary, but I read early and school came incredibly easy. And I was too much of a goody-two-shoes to act out of my boredom. I felt well-prepared for college (urban public high school with strong AP program). And then as an adult, I realized how fast you learned things didn’t really matter. Most people in your cohort end up with the same knowledge. If you could channel it into learning more…maybe…
(I can be contrary to my own opinion and say that maybe if I had been challenged better earlier on, perhaps I would have been more ambitious. So hard to separate personality from ability.)
That said, I think this was rambling, as I know you’ll do the right thing for M and find her the right resources in or outside of school.
So, as I mentioned, I have been thinking about this a lot for my situation. I came to do a follow up comment, which sort of fits with what you are saying. I was like you-read the complete Nancy Drew series in first grade, Lord of the Rings in 4th, and moved on to adult books. Math was my strongest subject, and I sometimes wonder how things might have been different if I hadn’t sidelinened myself academically due to family tragedy at age 11. Interestingly, I did notice by junior high that maybe I needed more structure to balance the emotional insecurity resulting from my father’s life and suicide, and I begged my mother to send me to Eliz Seton High School, a high ranked girls school. She conceded, but it required transferring custody to my paternal grandparents, and my grandfather wasn’t comfortable with it.
~lmc
Anyway, I stayed in public school, stayed in age appropriate whatever, but my teachers recognized my hunger for more and always gave me things to read “on the side,” extra math problems (in 7th grade, my teacher would just send me to the library with a text book, and we would have a conference every Friday to review-I made it through college algebra that year). My high school English teacher started me on Chaim Potok and others.
The personal relationships I developed with teachers have stayed with me, and actually helped with the emotional security. I also learned how to teach myself, an important skill in our rapidly changing world. But I did learn the social stuff too-I had acquaintances in junior high with babies- I think one of the best deterrants for teen pregnancy is a classmate who can’t play because she has to pick her child up from daycare. My first boyfriend was Mexican American. I learned that not everyone’s parents read to them as a child. Parents who didn’t have a college education were sometimes very smart-those who did were sometimes not very smart.
Of course, one of the reasons my mother was so adamant about the socialization is my hand differences-but we all have differences, and it is good to learn that early.
Good luck with your choices-it’s tough-but yeah, I already suspected M is wicked smart
That doesn’t sound braggy at all … what a blessing to have a gifted child!
I was a very early reader/learner, too, and went to an all-girls private school from preschool onward. I never felt held back (metaphorically speaking), I was always encouraged and given the opportunity to excel as much as possible, and in fact I *did* skip first grade and had no problems with it at all. I remember being grateful to get to go to a classroom where I actually had something to do.
Something to consider: The public school has no incentive, either big-picture or small-picture, to serve M’s *particular* needs. The forces that govern them (state dept of ed, feds/NCLB, etc.) are not concerned about any *one* child’s achievement or happiness, they are concerned with the grade-level average and the school-level average. You are more or less at their mercy, barring some sort of “special ed” diagnosis, an IEP and a protracted legal battle … none of which are probably an option if what you really want is more of an academic challenge for M.
At a private school, though, you’re a paying customer. Yes, you have to test in. But once you’re in, you’re a tuition check that they don’t want to lose. There is *heaps* more incentive for them to work with you and M on individual needs and programming. As a former private school teacher, I can say this from personal experience.
If you’re worried about M and L going to the same school, ask the private school if they do sibling discounts, or financial aid. And it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they went to different schools, particularly if their needs end up being very different.
Just please, please don’t let M be under-challenged in school and get bored at a young age. If she loses the enthusiasm for learning so early in the game, she’ll struggle as she gets older.
tough spot. i would love to send my boys to an all-boys school post elementary, personally.
of course, i’d love to have M and fisher in the same school.
Ahhh, the school question. Like every other aspect of parenting, it is hard to know the right thing to do. Having worked in public and private schools it is my opinon that what matters is the teachers involved, not the placement. Good teachers inspire children to learn, recognize and reward their individuality and support them in taking academic and social risks. Bad teachers make school a prison where obedience is more important than thinking and upsetting the teacher is the major crime. There are good and bad teachers in every school I have ever visited or worked in. And even more importantly what is a good teacher for one child may be terrible for another. If I were you I would look for an “in”. Someone who knows your child and the teachers involved and who has the power/influence to effect your child’s placement. I will admit there are some children that I make sure get the best teachers each year. Some because they touch my heart in a special way, some because they have had enough hard knocks and need a break, and some because their parents have supported me when I needed it most. It may be unfair but it is reality. Someone is choosing your children’s teachers every year. It may be someone who has taken a special interest in your child or someone who really doesn’t care. Which ever school you decide on, find that someone who cares who has influence. By the by, I watch the school “The millionaire inside” and the financial experts on it all say that school debt is good debt and usually at very good interest rates. They say to pay down other debts first. save money and pay as you go but not to worry about school debt. It cannot be discharged through bankruptcy and will eventually get paid off. Oh, and I always tell my children that most decisions can be remade, so if you don’t like your first choice of school, you can always change it.
I have nearly the same dilemma and not a lot of advice. But, I just wanted to comment because I thought I was the ONLY ONE who snuck the Little House books under my desk while everyone else read from “The Little Green Learn to Read Book” or whatever the hell it was called.
I once got “caught” reading “Farmer Boy” under my desk in the 2nd grade…I thought I was going to be in big trouble – how pathetic is that??
Gretchen
I think you are making a pretty good choice to just start out in PS and see how it goes. (Unless you decide to homeschool! Obviously a great choice for you since you are already doing it! : ).
I worked in a PS Kindergarten one year in what I would call an average district. The problem with K is that you have kids coming in from just vastly different ability levels. I had one kid who sounds like M. He could read anything, do all 4 math operations, and was very socialized. I also had two kids from China who had just immigrated the month before school started. So ESL and no (English) reading skills whatsoever. And then there were kids who just came from homes where there were no books and not much stimulation. And everything in between.
Anyway, once I was talking to the principal and other teachers and I was saying how hard it is to teach 24 kids in this range. And that unintentionally I find myself doing little things to try to get them to some average mean in the middle so I can just get through the day. It really eats away at you at a subconcious level. You don’t want that kid to get too far ahead of this other kid, so that maybe next week we can all do X activity together. I was kicking myself for it and then the principle said, “Well, Lisa, you are doing your job, then. That is what Kindergarten is for. To even them up to some manageable level and prep them for first grade.” The other teachers nodded. I was SO irritated by that. But I do think it is true in some schools. That is the main goal of K, to get them all ship-shape, uniform and facing the same direction for the conveyer belt to come.
On the other hand, D was pretty gifted in school, and he seemed to become almost another staff member at his PS highschool. He was managing their records on the computer and doing special projects for them. This is all well and good, but man was he a teachers pet when I met him! It is another thing where I guess it depends on the district and school.
I guess you have to just play it by ear and take it a day at a time!
First of all, I’ve been lurking around your blog for a while and I’m a bit nervous to comment. But since there’s a first time for everything, here it goes…
I come from a completely different background-country, so our educational system is different. Still parents struggle with the same issues as you do, and the educational system laks investment as much as yours.
I learnt how to read before I entered school, by age five I read books suited for third graders and maybe for older kids too… and yes, I loved maths too! (I know, total nerd!)
When I got to 1st grade the teacher asked us to bring a book to share with our classmates, I took my favourite one (a collection of animal fables). When I gave it to her, she looked at it and said “Tell mommy this book is too advanced for you to read…and bring another one”; I told my mom in between sobs. She had to go and explain to the teacher that I had already read it several times, that I could read even more advanced books than that one. She also told the teacher she ahould have checked if I had read the book. This happened at one of the top 10 schools in my country.
I remember being in 1st grade bored and frustrated because my classmates wouldn’t get that a letter didn’t sound like “a” in that case but like the Spanish A, or they wouldn’t understand that 7 -2 =5. Arrgg, it really annoyed me because I couldn’t move ahead because I already was ahead of everyone in my class. So I would suggest to find a school that can help M test her limits.
I went to three different private schools from age 4 to senior year, and frankly I wished they had done more to challenge me.
However, the school I liked the most and the one I recall more dearly, isn’t the one that was more focused on academics, but the one that focused on values,etc.
I don’t think the most expensive school is necessarily the best one. And I would choose co-ed school for my children because I feel they need to learn how to interact with poeple of the opposite gender; but maybe a same gender high school would be good as they would be able to focus on school rather than in flirting, appearance, not being liked by the boys/girls.
My sister went to exactly the same schools and her experience was totally different. The school I loved the most was the one she hated the most. So maybe the school that works with M won’t work for L. I don’t think it will be that traumatizing for them to go to different schools.
So I guess it depends a lot on the child, his/her personality and interests. Like someone said on another comment, if it feels it’s the right school for M then it probably is.
Oh, BTW, does M’s Montessori teacher know that you are teaching her *fractions*? The teacher who didn’t like the way you wrote your 4s and scolded you for teaching her addition?
(I actually think Montessori is great, but that story just cracked me up!)
Two things-sorry for the long comments, but I’m thinking thinking thinking on this! With regard to what Carosgram said-too true. My mother eventually got a teaching job in my school (she was my 6th grade teacher her first year-not home room though!) and she always complained about the teachers checking the files at the start of each school year to see the IQ scores of their students-before they met them! To this day, she will not tell me my score (my father was close to 200, and she thinks this was a big problem for him), because she hates the pegging that goes with it.
Also, when I finally got “caught” reading under my desk in 5th grade, I realized that all of my earlier teachers were not really oblivious-they just chose to ignore it! ~lmc
I didn’t attend a girls’ school, but I attended a women’s college. Best thing I ever did, in all honesty, and if I had to do it all over again and had the choice, I’d choose a girls’ school for myself starting with middle school.
Good luck!
This trendy “skipping a grade will destroy your child’s social development” idea is a little overstated, I think. I skipped a grade, and I know other several people who skipped a grade, and we were all very happy with the results. Kids are happier when they are doing activities in school that they don’t find mindlessly easy and when they’re not being singled out in class for being ahead of everyone else. During my research I’ve observed several kids in the first grade who skipped, and they also seem to be doing fine. It sounds to me like M is pretty socially mature for her age, and that she’d get along with older kids. I’m not saying skipping is definitely right for your daughter, but, you should at least consider the possibility.
I went to public schools all through, albeit in an area with a VERY high tax base. In our area, the public schools were actually more advanced than the private Catholic schools. I remember they separated the kids into small groups depending on their ability levels for reading and math, and I don’t remember feeling bored (although I was also one who was always “sneaking” reading in under my desK!) I also remember “passing” out of the speed reading section of my 8th grade Language Arts class and getting to go read books of my choice in the library for that 3 week period. And when I got to college, I was amazed at how easy it was–I went from a “B” student to an “A” student with no problem at all.
So, to parrot what about 4867 other people have said here, I would go check out the schools in person and get a feeling for how they handle kids that are not dead-on average. There’s no point in blanket-comparing “public” to “private” because the range in both types of schools is so enormous.
I think it may be worth it before you make a decision, to sit down with the principal at each of the schools you are considering. I was reading and doing math above grade for years and my private school didn’t have a gifted and talented program or any way to really accommodate that besides skipping grades (which my mom did not do). If you don’t want to skip grades, you may still face the same outcome regardless of where she goes.
For preschool I was in a Montessori class that was kindergarten for the other kids. I learned to read when I was four and the school officials in the public school system asked my parents if I wanted to skip kindergarten. They asked me and I said no, because all the things they’d told me about kindergarten sounded really fun.
I loved kindergarten, and the teacher used to allow me and one other student (who was later valedictorian of my high school class) to stay up to read instead of taking a nap when the other kids did. I think a lot of how well gifted kids do in the classroom – public or private – is related to the quality of the teacher and his/her ability to challenge them.
In the public school system I attended, kids were tested for gifted in 2nd grade, and gifted classes were offered from 3rd grade onward. I LOVED my gifted classes. I really have wonderful memories of elementary school.
Junior High I hated – The gifted classes were pretty good, but I used to lie to other kids about my good grades because I was so embarrassed about them. Absolutely mortified. But that may very well be a function of being junior-high age.
Starting 9th grade I attended a magnet program: the International Baccalaureate Program. You can’t get a more rigorous program than that. And I got to be one of the “cool” kids even though I was smart… Everyone was smart!
My public school education was excellent – I want to send our daughter to public schools and put her in private only if we encounter a problem.
My now 10 year old, was actually in the same place as your M. The school suggested we skip her, but we kept her in the regular class. She remains at the top of her class, and the top of her public school for reading, but from what I can tell most of the kids even out a bit in 3rd grade.
Most public schools, especially in reading, work on the child’s level. From my experience, there usually are a few girls in each class that seem to be really advanced. My 4 yr old son had a few in is 3 year old class last year that were also reading at a very high level. The public schools here usually pair them up so they have a reading buddy that challenges them.
I agree with what previous commenters said about it being the teachers that matter the most when dealing with above-average kids like M. I could read in kindergarten, but my teacher met with my mom and arranged for me to take books home to read, and to get a school library card and go to the library while the other kids were learning to read. My third grade teacher gave me extra projects to do – dioramas, math problems, all kinds of things, and I absolutely loved it. If you had a way of finding above-average kids who did private or public school, maybe you could find out what their teachers have been like. I have no idea how you’d do it, though!
Also, I think a lot of times private high schools are very, VERY college-prep oriented, and sometimes liberal arts-oriented as well. If your local public high school is large, they might have a lot of opportunities that M couldn’t get at a private school. The private school my friend went to definitely had Debate Clubs and Model U.N., but never offered shop class, driver’s ed, robotics club, etc. I know that high school is a long way away for M, but it’s something to think about.
No time to read the other commentators, but these days, because they’ve made kindergarten into first grade, our district handles early very advanced readers very well. Very well. Of course that’s not the only piece of the puzzle when it comes to intellectual development, but there are big chunks of the early elementary education that aren’t actually about the reading: art, music, group play, etc. Those are unlikely to be boring regardless of how well you read — or so it seems to me, having volunteered in kindergarten classes with kids across the spectrum.
Elba’s best friend came into school already knowing how to read chapter books, and she showed no signs of being bored or unchallenged from beginning to end. The curriculum was more than capable of accommodating her.
I think a huge amount (again) depends on your local public schools. The pedagogy has changed enormously since we were in school, and at least in this school district, there would be no need for you to sneak a chapter book while everyone else tries to read SUN, because that’s not how they do reading anymore.
Really, I think many of us writing on blogs can critique US public schools in the 1960s and 1970s and 1980s quite effectively. But this is 2007, and the better public schools simply do things differently. Does that mean kids are no longer bored? Of course not. But the only way to know for sure how the various schools are going to meet M’s needs is by going to those schools, talking to the teachers of kids in those schools, and (as you’ve decided to do) giving one of them a shot.
Good luck, it should be a great fun ride.
All I can tell you is my experience is not different than the hundreds of other parents of highly and profoundly gifted kids. Private school is NOT better for gifted kids, and is usually much much worse. Why? Because they have to differentiate, because they don’t have trained teachers the way public schools require, and because any kid, from either side of the spectrum, that causes ANY extra effort on their part is asked to leave or is ignored.
My son was reading chapter books at 3.5, just like M. Big chapter books. He was doing advanced math including fractions, multiplication and division. He could do simple geometry problems. He was an expert in physics and at that age could tell you how electricity worked. He’s profoundly gifted with a one in a million IQ. I’m NOT bragging, I’m stating a fact. He is what he is. Private school was a TOTAL disaster for him. We tried 3 of them from kindergarten through 3rd grade. They did not know what to do with him, and they REFUSED to accomodate him at all. I bought ever single teacher he had “Teaching gifted kids in the regular classroom” which is a classic for how to differentiate work for gifted kids by compacting the curriculum. It isn’t hard to do. They all refused. EVERY freaking one of them claimed they had no time. The largest class he was in had 12 students. Believe me, they had PLENTY of time. They just didn’t care.
Private schools weed out any special kids in 3rd grade. The curriculum gets harder in grade 4 and they want any kid that deviates from the curve out.
My children were both WAY more bored in private school than in public. I told you yesterday that private school failed my children. Let me tell you how badly. In March, after months at school, there was a portfolio review for parents and kids. The kids were supposed to show all their finished work in their portfolio. My daughter’s portfolio contained 3 pages. THREE freaking pages. She had done virtually NOTHING the entire school year and they never once said boo to me. She had no math at all. NONE. Not a page. She had almost no writing. Not one ‘[ublished’ story. I burst into tears in front of all the parents and kids and the teacher totally ignored me. I went to the principal and demanded an explanation and she told me that they couldn’t differentiate for any child and obviously my daughter needed special help which they refused to offer..EVEN THOUGH the sped teacher was paid in full by another parent whose kid was struggling too (dyslexic and ADHD). The parent offered to have my kid helped, the principal denied it.
I pulled my kids out of that school that very day. It was a travesty of education.
It was not a small school. It was part of a national chain of VERY well though of schools. It was very expensive. It was a complete and total waste of money. My kids both excelled in public school once they caught up. Our public school in NoCal was spectacular and both of my kids got a GREAT education there. In california, where the schools are supposed to stink.
If M is indeed gifted, you don’t have to participate in the GT programs. Most are pathetic anyhow, an hour a week pullout isn’t going to help a GT kid. If you don’t believe in grade skipping (and since my son skipped 2 grades I could easily tell you the pros and cons, both of which are legion), you can do a lot to keep your daughter interested. She will not be the only reader. She will not be the only kid interested in maths. Honestly, you’ll be surprised to see what kind of kids attend public school.
I’d definately give public school a shot first. If you hate it, leave. But try it first.
Good luck!
Does your district have a GT program? There is an elementary school in our city that children must test to be admitted into the program. It also happens to be the most culturally diverse school in our area. Once they go to middle school, they are still in GT core classes, but in mainstream elective classes. Once to high school, it’s usually AP all the way. I personally think GT only works when the entire class is GT, the entire school being even better. Sounds like M is GT (or TAG, depending where you live). Good luck in your search!
lurker from the UK. I’m liberal democrat bordering on the pinko left wing! I’ve ranted and raved for years how I had a great education in the comprehensive school system. My sibs too. I’m a Dr, brother a surgeon, sister a nurse. Now I’m horribley middle class… but from working class/farming family. I always thought I’d put my kids through the same way I was brought up, but I just can’t. I know I can afford better… sad though it is to leave the national education scheme… I feel private education offers more. If you have any doubts, you shouldn’t chance it! If you can afford…. who are you really harming? I can’t believe I said that!
Do we live in the only urban not so great public school system that expects the kids to be able to read, do simple math and count to 100 before they enter kindergarten?
We went back and forth about private school. The non-religious ones are more expensive per year than 4 years of public college. I didn’t find their curriculum any more difficult…. but I did find a boatload of upper-middle-class white kids.
I went through public school in the top classes and later through AP/Accelerated HS/JH classes. I was accepted to some great colleges. I felt I got a great education (we did a lot of extra stuff at home too and my parents encouraged us to take college classes while we were in high school.. note most colleges have programs for kids as young as 5 on the weekend). I think if you live in a strong suburban district you get the same or better education as the kids at the private schools. All my cousins went to insanely expensive top private schools and my bro and I fared much better than they did. The whole subculture of private schools in our area is so clique-y and its definitely disturbing. Its the way upper-middle class white families in our area separate themselves from their minority neighbors. The public schools here are 30-40% minority (asian, hispanic, black) and the private schools are almost all white with a few minorities on scholarships. The kids from those schools definitely come out with a very entitled attitude. This is just our area… its very have/have not and not much in between.
I think you need a school that will fit Ms needs, be it public or private. Where we are, public schools offer services to kids who are lagging behind, but nothing for kids who are ahead, other than some really pathetic supposedly “gifted” programs. Our son goes to a private school. He’s a really smart kid, straight A student. He doesn’t go to one of those “been around for 150 years and people have heard of it so I have to get my kid in there to make it sound good, no matter what kind of fit it is for my kid” kind of schools, which I’ve often found are rather unbending in their teaching methods, but a school (public or private) which can deal with individual needs of children. My son’s school, at every grade, offers a team of special ed. teachers for kids who need the extra help as well as teachers who will build an advanced curriculum for kids who require it. Starting in Grade 3, the school offers a separate “transition” class for kids with learning difficulties, bright kids with issues perhaps like ADD, dyslexia, etc. who require teaching methods which are perhaps different or more innovative than the average kid. My kid may not need those services, but I like the ideology of a school which offers them. And here’s what some people are like. When we were looking to move our son from the public school he was attending, another mom was looking to move her son as well and she’s the one who introduced me to this private school. She was all set to send her son there when one day she mentioned the school to a friend and the friend replied “isn’t that where kids with learning issues go” and from that moment, she refused to consider the school for her son. She didn’t want people to think her son might have a learning difficulty and was afraid many people wouldn’t know that the school had a variety of programs, both for kids with learning disabilities and gifted kids. Whereas when I heard the school dealt with kids with at every level of the learning curve, I was thrilled in that I knew they were set up to deal with any and all issues and open to many different teaching methods. Sorry so long, but in my opinion, one of the things you probably most want to find for M is a school which is open in its views on education and the different and unique needs of every child. A school who can take a child like M and really allow her to shine!
Again, just want to chime in with a positive public school experience. My daughter went into first grade testing at a 5th grade reading level. Her math is even higher. Normally, I wouldn’t share this because it does sound like bragging. But I hear the “I can’t send my kid to public school because he/she is so much smarter than the other kids” argument a lot.
My daughter’s teachers challenged her completely all year long. She was given the “hard” books to read – she didn’t EVER have to hide them.
And she’s not the only one at her level. There are others.
The principal is going to pull her out for some special math this coming year (2nd grade) but I assume she will do fine in the classroom.
Your public schools might be nothing like ours – yours may have nothing to offer your very bright child. But it might be worth a visit – just to talk to the teachers and other parents.
I know I am in the vast minority – a person who could afford private school but chooses public. But we’ve been very happy with our choice. Of the 10 kids on our street, we are the only one in public schools.
It sounds to me like your mind is made up for private – but I just wanted to give you another perspective. Like someone else said – you can always change your mind! None of this is set in stone.
Another thing to think about – if you invest four years of private school tuition into a money market account now (or over the next four years)….you’ll practically have college paid for when the time comes. We are socking away a lot of money for college & retirement now (while the kids are young.) If we had private school tuition to pay for, we could not be doing that.
Hmm… I remember my most distressing school moment came in pre-K class, where I was reading a book to myself and some boys harassed me and told me not to pretend I could read. I told them I was reading, and they didn’t believe me. I told the teacher, and she thought I had memorized the book. Stoopid classmates.
I went to a private school for three years around middle school, mostly I think because my mother was worried about me getting beaten up in the public school system. Then I went back to public at the next place we lived, in a mediocre suburban school, and I liked it just as well but I wasn’t really challenged in either place. I got a full ride to college but it was a shock to my system when I actually had to study.
My guess is at this point M will direct her own learning to a certain degree, no matter what school she’s in. With enthusiastic parents, she could thrive at either place. Theory is good, but I’m quickly learning that theory gets thrown out the window with your own kids, and you just have to do what seems right at the time for each of them.
i read at a super early age and went to pretty good public schools for most of my life. two of my very best friends went to the all-girls high school in the area and enjoyed it to a certain extent. i think that parts of it are good, but the fact that when you leave, you have no idea how to interact with boys is a huge disadvantage. for some people that is a good thing, but for others, they feel like they lost out.
I have heard more than one group of parents in our PTA say they switched from private to public because the public schools were the ones who had the resources to devote to their above the curve kids. The private schools around here have one set curriculum and if you don’t fit in oh well…. Usually because there is a much smaller student base and only one or two of these way above the bar kids in the school, the private schools don’t feel it best uses their resources. However, before you send M there I’m sure you’ll research how they could best fit her needs.
We have schools in our area called Montessori schools. You’ll find different age children all in one class. They advance as they learn, no matter what age, so no child gets bored waiting for others to catch up.
Soleil just turned 5. She is going to K this year.
We made the decision on private/public back in 2003. We chose our community based on the schools and proximity to work (and a nice yard).
We talked to the school when we had orientation. I asked about G&T programs (I hate the term, but that is what they call it). Our school has a great system for different learners.
The classes are joined with another class for reading, math and a few other subjects where kids are learning at different rates. They combine the kids of like skill levels. Then they work with those skills to improve them regardless of if they are 2nd grade readers or just learning character recognition. They work hard on stressing improvement for ALL kids, not that one set is “better” than another. I really liked that.
I would suggest talking to your local school. Ask how they deal with different learning styles. How the K teachers deal with kids at different levels….
[...] the teacher if she thought we should have had M tested to skip kindergarten (which was something I have angsted about in the past.) M’s teacher said that outside of academic issues, M is a great fit in [...]