I am taking a hatha yoga class because a friend asked if I wanted to take it with her. I said yes because it is a good chance to force Mr. A to be home at a set time every week so I can have a life. Also, I really like this friend and don’t get to see her enough.
Back before M was born, I did Ashtanga Yoga pretty regularly. I didn’t know much about hatha yoga, but since I am waaaaay out of yoga shape I thought it would be a good for me to ease my way back into yoga land.
I don’t know how other hatha yoga classes go, but this one is about 90% laying on the floor in the corpse pose. Sometimes we sit up or briefly stand, but very rarely.
There is something about the voice of the yoga instructor that just grates on my nerves. I also dislike the the way she overruns a 60 minute class and routinely makes it last at least 90 minutes.
I can usually make it through the first 45 minutes of laying there like a dead person without too much trouble. After that, though, I start getting a little hostile.
Today, the instructor was mumbling on about being the “guide for the collective consciousness of the group” and she just “waits until [she] feels that one of us thinking we are ready to move on, then [she] just leads the consciousness of the group to ease into the next pose.”
If this is true, I want to find out who the asshole in the class is who wants to just lay on his lazy ass all evening, because his thoughts must be squashing my input into the collective consciousness.
If the teacher was really intuiting my thoughts she would know I was mentally screaming “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! LET US STRETCH OR DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING MORE THAN LYING HERE STARING AT THE CEILING!!”
By the time I get home, I am a seething ball of resentment. Somehow, I don’t think that is what I am supposed to get out of yoga.
I am just pissed that I paid for a whole session, so I can either quit and lose 25 dollars, or go and hate the teacher (but also visit with my friend after class). It is a tough choice.
I found this entry hilarious. I’ve done a bit of yoga classes and never had one like that. That would drive me batty. Meditation is great and all, but I have to DO something while I meditate or my meditations just wander into all the stressful things I could be doing that need to get done while I sit here and do nothing. If my body is busy doing something difficult, only then can my mind relax and focus away from the stress.
Is it possible to change class times/instructors?
I am SO sorry-I go to yoga on my lunch hour every day, and I can’t wait to get there, and my day flows in a different way after. It is usually one of several instructors, but all of their voices and styles ease me into things I never expected to do-like side crow or reverse lotus-never thought that was me, and it changes my relationship with my body.
It is an eclectic studio based on vinyasa flow, developed here but opening studios around the country (not in your area yet). The instructors are from all over though, so I can ask them for e recommendation near you: http://www.corepoweryoga.com
~lmc
i’ve taken a few hatha yoga classes and will have to say that never have i had one like that. so, that teacher is obviously out of the loop.
Waste the $25, for goodness’ sake. Trek off to the yoga place with your bud and a good book; she can do the yoga to the ultimately irritating yoga teacher and you can read, then the both of you can go out afterwards.
Life is far too short and yoga far too worthwhile to waste either on a lousy yogi. Savasana should be a time to retrench, recoup, relax, and incorporate everything you’ve done that session into your body. I love savasana, but a whole class supposedly about yoga that is devoted only to the corpse pose would just drive me absolutely batty.
I’ve taken both Ashtanga and Hatha. I’ve never experienced that before.
Ditch the class and use the time with your friend at a coffee house or some place else. $25 isn’t worth the resentment.
-violet
Oh my Lord, that is funny.
too funny. i’m having a hard time relating, though. i pretty much want to lay in a corpse pose all the time.
I wish you joy. I wish you love. But most of all, I wish you peace.
Uh, you know, I would consider re-connecting with my peace a bargain at any price, let alone $25.
…. I’m pretty sure Ashtanga is Hatha Yoga just a style of Hatha since it is an asana practice and not one of the meditative yoga limbs.
It’s always the teacher that makes the difference. I would ask the teacher why you aren’t doing more asanas and tell her to stop talking.
How does your friend feel about the class? I can imagine it would be very satisfying to talk to the teacher–and then she really will know what you’re thinking. But if it’s going to upset your friend then it wouldn’t be worth it. Maybe you can sneak in your ipod.
Well, I dropped out of the last Hatha class that I took because, outside of myself and the instructor, the entire class was pregnant. This was during the last of our IF treatments, and I just couldn’t take it.
That said? It was nothing like you have described. Eat the money, and go for a coffee or to the bookstore with your friend. Still a way to find some peace of mind, right?
Your stress is not worth the money. Leave the class, screw the money…
I have never had a yoga class like that. Ick…
I had to participate in or observe a lot of different yoga classes to accumulate hours for my yoga teacher training and I’ve had several experiences where I left feeling pissy and bitter because the teacher seemed ditzy or full of crap or the other students acted like brainwashed automatons.
I’ve heard that back in the seventies all yoga classes were like the one you took, and they did corpe pose between every single asana. Sheesh.
If you liked Ashtanga and want to ease back into things I would second the person who recommended vinyasa flow. Sometimes vinyasa classes are as rigirous as Ashtanga but usually they’re a little more forgiving, since the teachers aren’t wedded exclusively to that one really demanding series.
Wow, I love corpse pose but could never imagine doing it for the entire yoga class…that’s not yoga! That’s just shavasana! Anyhow, I would make an extra lunch date or meet your friend for coffee after her yoga class, but don’t stress yourself out with the damn corpse!
This post really made me laugh because I have been there. I’ve had really great yoga teachers and classes and really sucky ones. The ones that feel it necessary to let out lots of loud sighs and “mmmm”s really drive me batty. And I have a serious radar for really New-Agey language and run the other way when I hear it. And the nasal breathing stuff makes me batty too. Life’s too short – find another teacher or a good DVD.
As a yoga teacher, this totally cracks me up!! And I can relate as a student, too! That actually sounds like an incredibly challenging class. Of course your mind is running non-stop! I think I’d look for another class. And make sure you find a 60-minute one if that’s your preference (many are 90 minutes).
By the way, hatha yoga is actually the limb of yoga that encompasses the asanas (physical poses/stretching) – so essentially most yoga classes taught in the U.S. are indeed hatha yoga. That it’s a type of yoga is a common misconception. Some teachers like myself advertise that they teach “hatha” yoga because we don’t follow any particular guru or style.
Thanks for another great post!