Due to the unseasonably warm weather today, I took the girls to the park before M’s swimming lessons. About 50,000 other parents had the same idea, so the playground was packed.
As I was pushing L on the swings (and simultaneously talking to Chicagomama on the phone), when a little boy who was probably about 7 years old tugged on my sleeve.
“Hey LADY! Hey Lady! Do you ever watch Jon and Kate Plus 8???” he asked.
“HUH? The TV show? Why do you want to know if I watch that show?” I replied.
“Well, uh, because that girl with you..” as he points at M on the next swing over, “…she looks like Mady on that show!!! I wondered if you are babysitting for Mady?”
“Oh! No.” I replied, “She is my daughter her name is M.” (M is not short for Mady fortunately!)
“Ohhhh. I love that show.” said the kid, clearly disappointed. Then he walked off.
The truth is, M got a haircut last week and she actually does look a little bit like Mady on Jon & Kate Plus 8. Or rather, both M and Mady look mixed Asian and white and have hair of a similar length.
A few minutes later, the kid’s mom came over and apologized to me for what her kid said. She said she had told him not to ask us, but he did it anyway.
“Well, my husband is Asian so M is biracial,” I said, “ The kids on that show are biracial, too. I can see why he sees a resemblence.”
“Yes, well I told him not to bother you!” said the mom.
I wasn’t especially bothered by this incident (actually, I thought it was kind of funny), but it was the first time I felt like another kid was identifying M as something other than white. The mom seemed rather embarrassed by her kid and also by my pointing out the race thing, so that kind of confirmed it in my head.
The conversation did not seem to interest M at all. She was focused on trying to get me to follow her agenda and spot her on the monkey bars. We have had a crazy day today, but I will ask her tomorrow if she heard and if she has any thoughts about it. She also occasionally watches Jon & Kate plus 8, so she will know who he was talking about.
It was going to happen sooner or later, I guess. I should probably get a little more proactive and start talking to M about how she can answer these questions herself.
Edited to add: I realized after I wrote this it isn’t the first time another kid has questioned M’s race, but the other times were by Chinese/ Chinese American kids trying to figure out if M was Chinese too, even though she doesn’t speak Chinese as well as they do. That was in the context of Chinese school so it wasn’t very surprising. Today’s thing kind of caught me off guard.
that’s funny, the last time we watched that show scott commented that the one little girl looked like M!
we were gonna hit the park but i wasn’t feeling good. you should have called fisher – OMG he drove me nuts today!!
Love that show! The kids think the show stars corinne (a whole bunch of corinnes?)
hmmm other kids ask the kids all the time. Corinne gets filipino/chinese/japanese etc… marcus gets asked if he is hispanic from the hispanic kids and most asian kids recognize him as hapa.
You’re not going to mention how that boy totally copped a feel on your butt? That really capped that conversation off, I thought.
I have to admit I am glad I got to hear it in real time, it was funny.
I thought M was latina?!!?!
I wish you had told that mother that she needs to teach her son that the proper way to address an unknown adult is not “Hey Lady”!! What happened to “Excuse me, ma’am…”? What happened to manners!?
lol, too funny. I like the kids from the show, but kate…grrr grates on my nerves!
I’m mixed Japanese and white and I get asked “what I am” ALL THE TIME. I’m in my early 30′s now, so I actually don’t get it as much as I used to. I think teens and younger people are more free to ask those kinds of question. It’s really no big deal at all.
>I’m mixed Japanese and white and I get asked “what I am” ALL THE TIME.
Asians get asked “What they are” all the time, but it’s usually phrased a little differently.
“Where are you from”?
“Los Angeles”
“No, where were you ORIGINALLY from”.
“I was born in Los Angeles, California”.
“No, were are you REALLY from?”
What they really want to know is what you “are” (Chinese, Japanese, etc).
heh, Let say when I am with my parents (I’m half American and half Mexican, but I’m European and Native American on both sides of the family) NO one even dares to ask me “What I am” when I’m shopping or working. But when I’m school I get asked at all the time. I hate that question, beacause after they ask me that come the racist remarks, bad jokes and that dreaded halfbreed comments.
My little brother gets asked “What ARE you?” all the time. I mostly don’t, since my Dad’s Native American genes didn’t hit me with the same force as they did my little brother. He says it is kind of weird to be asked “What are you?” all the time. He is like “Um, I’m a guy named Bobby…”
I was recently asked whether I was babysitting my daughters. What a weird question! I just said “No. They’re mine.” I don’t know why it bothered me, but it did. On two occasions, people actually thought I was Asian and assumed my daughters were my bio kids. (I guess again with the Blackfoot playing out on my features) The first time was actually when a group of Asian women asked me if I was Asian. I told them I was not and that my daughters were adopted. The second time was when I got into a conversation with a woman at the mall. It also somehow came up that the girls were adopted and she looked at me and said, “Wow, if I didn’t know better, I would have thought they were YOUR kids!” I looked at her with feigned confusion. “What? They ARE my kids…. they’re just not my biological kids.”
The other day a little girl asked me if my daughter was adopted. I said “no her father is chinese. ”
She went “oh that is where she gets her eyes from. I have my daddy’s eyes too.”
So I asked my daughter”hunny do you have daddy’s eyes?” all laughing and silly like.
My daughter started laughing and went ” no I have my eyes!”