Every two or three months, it occurs to me to look at our finances*. This occurance is usually followed by several days of me freaking out, swearing to never shop or eat out again. I also spend those days following Mr. A around saying things like “You are spending too much money on your work lunches! Take leftovers! It is crazy to spend so much on lunches!”
In my imagination, I budget about $100 a week for groceries and $50 per week for eating out. Looking at our expenses since mid-november, we have spend 1.5 times as much on groceries and about twice as much as my imaginary eating out budget. Seriously, it is appalling how much money has been wasted.
Money (or rather fear of a lack of money) is a huge trigger for me. When I was young and both my parents were in college, things were very tight for us. It was only when I was in Jr. High and High School that money was no long a huge point of stress for my parents. It made a big impression on me. I have always had an irrational fear of debt. Even “good debt” like our grad school loans is like a monkey on my back (and not a cute monkey either…more like a dirty monkey with big teeth and lice that tries to steal your cold can of soda on a hot day).
Mr. A and I are extremely fortunate that we have a comfortable income. We save for retirement and our kids education. We don’t carry debt on our credit card. In general, we are in pretty good shape. We should have some money available to put into savings each month, but in all honesty we spend most of what Mr. A brings home.
I know exactly where the problems are. Mr. A’s lunches out, a few extra meals of take out because I am tired or a luxurious night of sushi here or there add up very quickly. And a few treats at Trader Joe’s seems to multiply into a $30-$50 dollar bill every time I am there.
And don’t even get me started on Target. It practically costs me $100 to walk through those doors.
I have been on a shopping hiatus since January 1st. I am trying my hardest not to buy anything unnecessary, in part because I want to use the money we save toward finishing the basement**. I managed to walk out of Target today only purchasing diapers and birthday party invitations, but it nearly killed me. “Good deals” were practically jumping off the shelves into my cart, which is ridiculous because there isn’t anything we really need.
I hadn’t included food or eating out in my shopping hiatus plans, but I think I probably should.
The current hard look at the finances is particularly difficult because of the moving discussion. The job Mr. A wants would mean a pay cut of about 1/5th of his salary. AND it would require that we move to a much more expensive city. If necessary, I can always work. Given my nonprofit salary, I don’t know if it would really be that profitable if we are paying bigger city prices for childcare. I am also quite concerned about the possibility that we could lose money if we sell our house now. Zillow says we shouldn’t, but who can say in this market?
So anyway, the shopping hiatus continues. The only exception is home-repair purchases and those aren’t even the slightest bit enjoyable for me. (Seriously, buying ceiling grid is not my idea of a good time.) We need to stick it out long enough for this to become a better habit.
*As I have discussed before, Mr. A manages the bills because when I manage them my anxiety level is just too high for us to function in a happy way.
**Which will hopefully make the house more desirable so it doesn’t sit on the market for a hundred years, even if it doesn’t add much to the price.
If you’d like a surefire way to avoid eating out and convenience foods, a significant list of serious food allergies goes a long way. My eating out is almost zero and the frozen section has precious little without a label warning me to “stay away, stay away!”
I’m jealous.
I was going to write the same entry almost :0)
We have actually stuck to a $75 a week supermarket (rice is really cheap) and a $50 take out a week for a month! I make a tentative meal plan for the month. As I make each meal I cross it off. It helps that we eat a mostly asian diet. I also cook 1 meal for 2 nights if I know I am working that night and will dead tired to cook the next night. I buy mostly organic meat and shop mostly at TJs, the asian market and the local supermarket.
I started buying all our meat and non-parishables 1 time a month. We started eating at more at hole in the wall asian restaurants. Our current fave is a $5 a plate vietnamese place. At that price you can eat out as a family 2-3 times a week!
I wish vinh would eat out at work less but they are always holding meetings during lunch (squeeze every last second out of him!). He tries 1-2 times a week to bring something from home. It was nice at his old job he brought $2 banh mi every day.
FWIW, the JPMorgan economic outlook speaker I heard on Tuesday said that the housing market woes are a very regional thing – Oklahoma’s housing market is actually up, and I think Ohio was in the same color on the chart. (My homebuilder client says her experience bears that out, too.) So you may not have a housing problem.
I know what you mean about Target. It takes serious discipline to avoid buying a bunch of random stuff.
We gave up restaurants and take-out this month, and I actually haven’t missed it as much as I thought I would. It’s amazing how much money we have saved.
I’m with Kate – Since we went gluten and casein-free, eating out is impossible, and most impulse buys at the store are unsafe. I miss the carefree days of ordering dinner to-go when I was too lazy/busy to cook, but my budget loves it.
Is there a Freecycle chapter where you are? I’ve quit going to Target, and pretty much everywhere else except the grocery store, in favor of finding things for free (and re-homing the unwanted clutter from our house). It’s much more exciting than shopping retail, and I’ve received some amazing things, many of which are actually useful – It satisfies my magpie tendencies without costing a thing.
Well, the cost of groceries IS up quite a bit lately due to the *cough* economic challenges that the U.S. is experiencing. I hear ya about Target. I try to limit my trips there to no more than 3x per month. It’s a dangerous place!
Target is the one retail place that manages to bitch-slap my money out of my wallet and make me enjoy it.
Oh Target!
We go through this cycle too. We take turns saying aaaaaiiihhh! Why are we spending so much money!! And then we vow to not eat out so much or to cut back on spending money on random things… and then after a while we go back to the way it was.
Our weaknesses are sushi and things like really cool professional texts. I’m afraid to go into Target even when I know what I want, but I’m almost/just as bad at Home Depot or other home-hardware stores. It does help that I am trying to give away the junk in our basement. And thrift stores are great for giving me an inexpensive retail fix.
I hear you. I went cold turkey on Target a few months ago and now I seem to be used to it. At first I thought it would kill me since I found myself using it for entertainment, oh that is sad. But now I love NOT getting that Target bill at the end of the month and really we are no worse for the wear.
Now, when I do go to Target…about once every 6-8 weeks it seems like a little luxury. Oh, that seems sad too.
But honestly my kids are still happy and healthy without little matching Valentine tee shirts.
[...] are wrapping up our two-month shopping [...]