I woke up Sunday and my anger about the dog situation was gone. I have reached the point where I can acknowledge that we can’t do anything about what the neighbors choose to do. We can only control our ourselves and how we choose to react to the situation we are in.
Mr. A and I tend to make really big decisions when we are on a long drive. Yesterday, we drove to my grandma’s house wayyyy out in the boonies and it gave us a lot of time to talk.
The good news is that Mr. A and I are on the same page about selling the house. The dog situation is a big catalyst, but there are a lot of good reasons we should get ready to sell the house anyway. This just means we have to do it faster than we planned.
If Mr. A gets the big job, we have to sell the house. If he doesn’t get the big job and finds another job here, we would probably have stayed in this house another two years before buying the house we hope to stay in until the girls finish high school. This just means we would be looking for that house sooner. The pool of houses we will consider (based on location, price and schools) is very small, so selling our house now means we could jump when the perfect house becomes available.
In the end, this situation has made us realize how very fortunate we are. For one thing, we have lots of options. Financially, we can afford to sell this house at a loss if necessary. We can also afford to buy the next house now instead of in two years. (Especially because houses in that price range have dropped a lot more than houses in the range of the house we live in now. It is a good time to buy).
We are also very fortunate because we are not super-picky people. Neither of us feels like it will be horrible to live in an apartment for a while. We have lived in apartments before and survived. If we don’t end up moving out of state, it is our preference to stay in the same neighborhood, but luckily we can do that in an apartment.
It is such a relief to decide to just roll with the punches and see what will happen next. It is a relief to let go of trying to control a situation that isn’t ours to control. I do wish we could see 6 months or a year into the future to know how it all turns out, but we are pretty confident it will turn out ok.
This is a much better feeling.
what neighborhoods will you look at if you choose to stay here? there are some nice houses across from the school.
Ahh. Good transformation of angry moment! It was very inspiring to read this because I had my own very distressing moment(s) over the weekend and itw as really good for me to be reminded that I can’t control what other people choose to do or not do…
Sigh.
Not that you probably care but Suze Orman totally endorses your plan. She says you should sell your house and then look for another. She says it is a great time to rent and wait for the right house before purchasing. She thinks prices will continue to decline for another year or so. So good on you. (I am a Suze fan if you couldn’t tell already)
So very 12-step.
(Hoo-ra for osmosis.)
It’s funny-my neighborhood is one of the ones that is holding strong in sales right now (we were actually in national news for this)-my neighbor just sold her house, half the size and “charm” of mine-for what I paid 3 years ago. It has crossed my mind that I could actually upgrade in the current market…
Yeah right, like I need to be selling my house right now ; )
Clarity is sweet, isn’t it-congratulations! ~lmc
About every six months I say to my husband something very similar to what you said here: Can’t we just — please just once — see six months or a year or, heck, five years into the future? I just want to know where we end up, which path we follow.
But he never says we can.
I’ll probably keep asking.
Good luck with whatever path you choose!
I’m glad you’re feeling better… And there’s nothing like good drives to have meaningful conversations with our better-halves. I think we need several of those right now.
What an awesome attitude you have, seriously! Totally better to roll with the punches. I agree! : )