Comments on: thinking of another mother http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:51:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: cindy.psbm http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/comment-page-1/#comment-96594 cindy.psbm Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:50:33 +0000 http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/#comment-96594 As a birthmom myself I can tell you that for sure this chinese women thinks about your little girl everyday, not just her birthdate. The system of adoption in china is very unkind to birthmothers, mostly. The social pressure of family is like, do or die, seriously. A friend of mine told me this. Its good that you try and think about her(birthmom). I can promise you she is probably thinking of you, just hoping you love the little baby she gave birth too, thats the best thing you can do. Just love your little girl. As a birthmom myself I can tell you that for sure this chinese women thinks about your little girl everyday, not just her birthdate. The system of adoption in china is very unkind to birthmothers, mostly. The social pressure of family is like, do or die, seriously. A friend of mine told me this. Its good that you try and think about her(birthmom). I can promise you she is probably thinking of you, just hoping you love the little baby she gave birth too, thats the best thing you can do. Just love your little girl.

]]> By: Margie http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/comment-page-1/#comment-77789 Margie Wed, 02 Apr 2008 14:18:56 +0000 http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/#comment-77789 I completely relate. Both of my kids' birthdays are this week - April 5th - and I find myself in a very strange emotional zone. I'm so happy for them, they are turning 19 and 17 and are incredible young people. But I fear that opportunities to find their Korean families are slipping away, and it breaks my heart. That, plus the fact that I really cannot be a part of their decision to search unless they invite me is very hard, because I've dreamed for so long that they would both find and meet and know their families. If it's this hard for me, it is so much harder for them. Thank you for putting your feelings in words, it helps knowing I'm not alone. I completely relate. Both of my kids’ birthdays are this week – April 5th – and I find myself in a very strange emotional zone. I’m so happy for them, they are turning 19 and 17 and are incredible young people. But I fear that opportunities to find their Korean families are slipping away, and it breaks my heart. That, plus the fact that I really cannot be a part of their decision to search unless they invite me is very hard, because I’ve dreamed for so long that they would both find and meet and know their families.

If it’s this hard for me, it is so much harder for them. Thank you for putting your feelings in words, it helps knowing I’m not alone.

]]> By: Anna http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/comment-page-1/#comment-77776 Anna Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:58:40 +0000 http://american-family.org/2008/03/31/thinking-of-another-mother/#comment-77776 My 5 yr old son is "worried" about his birth mother. He's been with us for almost 2 yrs (adopted from Ethiopia) and his mom gave him up for adoption as she couldn't care for him. He knows this and asked why his birthmother couldn't be adopted too by a new family. Last month he told me was sad because he missed his birthmother as she was always kind and nice to him and asked if we could adopt her into our family. When I told him that for now the judge only finds new families for children and not adults, he asked if we could visit her when he is big. it breaks my heart to see him sad and worried like this...he is very emotional lately and even his kindergarten teachers think that he is working through these emotions as he is very reactive emotionally if he is yelled at. My son was left at the children's home when he was about 2 1/2 - 3 years old and remembers being breastfed by his birthmother. He remembers the day he arrived to the family and told us in detail how he arrived, etc. I wish there was something else I could do to help him through - telling him his birthmother did this out of love for him doesn't seem to be enough. thanks for listening, Anna My 5 yr old son is “worried” about his birth mother. He’s been with us for almost 2 yrs (adopted from Ethiopia) and his mom gave him up for adoption as she couldn’t care for him. He knows this and asked why his birthmother couldn’t be adopted too by a new family.

Last month he told me was sad because he missed his birthmother as she was always kind and nice to him and asked if we could adopt her into our family. When I told him that for now the judge only finds new families for children and not adults, he asked if we could visit her when he is big.

it breaks my heart to see him sad and worried like this…he is very emotional lately and even his kindergarten teachers think that he is working through these emotions as he is very reactive emotionally if he is yelled at.

My son was left at the children’s home when he was about 2 1/2 – 3 years old and remembers being breastfed by his birthmother. He remembers the day he arrived to the family and told us in detail how he arrived, etc.

I wish there was something else I could do to help him through – telling him his birthmother did this out of love for him doesn’t seem to be enough.

thanks for listening,
Anna

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