Mr. A felt pretty good when he came out of his three hour interview on thursday. He had interviewed with 12 different people. At the end of the day, he felt that there was one answer that could keep him from getting the job: he told them he was only planning for the next 3-5 years at this point and didn’t know what he wanted do do after that. They responded with their hopes that the person they hire would stay for at least 9 years.
Let me assure you, they do not pay enough for Mr. A to stay there for 9 years. And as a compromise for me agreeing to move, Mr. A said he is willing to only stay three if that is what I want once we get settled.
So now we wait to see if he gets called back for a second round interview.
We spent Friday morning in suburb #2. There we pros and cons to #2 that were a little different than #1.
Pros: #2 better parks and outside options, higher Asian population much better diversity overall in the schools, a community Chinese school similar to the one M attends now, possibility of hiring cheap Chinese tutors to come to our home like we have here, several public transit options for Mr. A, similar yuppie amenities to #1 but less compact and pretty.
Cons: Schools are not so universally deemed “excellent” but are generally considered “good”, slightly longer commute for Mr. A, more urban feel (I don’t care for that as much though Mr. A seemed to dig it), possibly a little more expensive than #1 for less apartment.
Biggest con: We ate lunch at a restaurant that was hands-down the worst Ethiopian restaurant I have ever tried. I love Ethiopian food, but while this food LOOKED like it was Ethiopian, it TASTED like nothing. I don’t think they even used teff in their injera. Or maybe it wasn’t fermented. And the salad had ITALIAN DRESSING on it. WTF?? Seriously, Mr. A had to spend a significant amount of time convincing me that a bad Ethiopian restaurant was not a good enough reason to write off an entire suburb. I want to go rinse my mouth out now just thinking about it.
By the second day of suburb-visiting, I was pretty tired. The girls were tired, Mr. A was also tired. I think if we had to pick somewhere to live tomorrow, we would choose #2. But it wasn’t like it was a 100% slam dunk.
Now that we are home again, I just feel a bit of a malaise at the thought of moving. I am not hopeful about our house-selling prospects. I am not excited to uproot the girls and leave our families. I don’t want to live in an apartment like I am still in college. I don’t want to be a burden on the few friends we have in Chicago. I am terrified of having to make new friends (deep down I am a shy introvert). I am not eager downscale our lifestyle and living space.
If I didn’t have kids, I think the prospect of moving would feel a bit more like an adventure. Right now, it just feels kind of scary. I hope we can figure out what is going to happen in the next week or so.
I swear I am not going to whine about this constantly for the next few months. Hopefully, this bad mood will pass soon. Besides, I have to write a post about the cow birthing center we visited yesterday. God, I love the midwest.
Moving with kids is totally different than moving when you don’t have any. We’ve moved A LOT, (husband being in the military), and although my oldest has pretty much always been there for the moves it never hit me as hard until the last series of them. She’s older now and it is harder on her. Harder on both of them, really. For me, moving has never really been hard aside from the annoying shit of packing/unpacking and hunting for a place, but I enjoy going new places. Sometimes the fresh start is intoxicating. I know when we leave here, though, I’ll be sad. It’s the nicest place we’ve been, our quality of life feels different, etc. So I understand how you’d be hesitant to leave what you have.
I think the trick is to make it seem like an adventure to the kids, even when it doesn’t feel that way to you. Our last move, I tried really hard to make sure I didn’t minimize or blow off the kids’ feelings about missing people and being sad, but I also tried to show them that for the bad, there’s a good thing, too.
I bet you visited our suburb, which is pricey but close to the city and on public transportation (two types). I’m sure it made your short list. I love it here. We see mixed couples all the time (there is a major uni nearby, which helps) and Asians owning businesses that aren’t just dry cleaners or restaurants.
We have an ethiopian restaurant here too, but we LOVE it… In fact it’s one of our favorites. We’ve even taken my (old school Chinese) in-laws there, who enjoyed themselves.
Good luck in your search!
Yeah, I would lean toward door #2-my stepfather grew up there, and it’s where I would move if I went back-if it’s the uni I think sarah means… ~lmc
I think the biggest pro of suburb #2 is actually that it’s much closer to us!!! And wouldn’t a little twin baby love on a regular basis make the whole move just so much better?!
I like the way you evaluate neighborhoods! But seriously, the Italian dressing on the salad? It’s authentic, or at least you’ll encounter it at a lot of Ethiopian restaurants, at least the ones that serve salad. The Italians occupied Ethiopia for a quite a while. No excuses for the injera, though, except it is sometimes made with barley.
Forgive me for being a bit out of the loop, but what how likely is it that this move will actually happen? It’s so hard to choose neighborhoods from afar!