This morning, Mr. A called his dad to remind him to come over at noon to help M practice her Chinese like he does every Sunday. Today was a little different because as soon as he answered the phone at 10 a.m., FIL said “Today is TEST for M at Chinese school. You start studying NOW! I will come over early! She has TEST!”
FIL showed up a half an hour early at 11:30. He immediately started lecturing M about the importance of studying for her test. At one point, Mr. A wandered in to the lesson and found M messing around. He also gave her a lecture about the importance of studying and doing well on her test. M seemed unimpressed.
(Can I just interject here and point out that we are talking about a PRESCHOOL class! She was supposed to memorize about 20 characters and write them when the teacher called out the words. While learning 20 characters seems reasonable enough to me, putting the “test” label on it seems like a bit much.)
So M marched off to Chinese school for her test. After her language class, I met up with her to take her to dance class. M was carrying a big stuffed polar bear which was some kind of prize for doing well on her test. She proudly showed me her paper and she received a 110. (110 was weird because she missed two characters, so maybe some of them were bonuses or something.)
After Mr. A and his dad left, M couldn’t stop talking about her test and the stupid bear prize. I was only half listening when she said “Mama, when I forgot how to write the words, GongGong (FIL) let me see the my practice paper.”
What?!? Surely, I had misunderstood.
But when she was asked a few follow up questions, M confirmed that when she didn’t know the answer, FIL let her look at a paper with all the characters on it.
I mentioned to M that looking at the answers during a test is called cheating. Her only point of reference for cheating is the Junie B. Jones book “Cheater Pants.” Once I said “cheating” she clammed up and wouldn’t talk about it any more. She knew that cheating is bad, but she clearly still didn’t understand why she wasn’t supposed to look at the answer sheet when she needed to know the answer. I will talk to her about it a little more in the next couple days. I did a miserable job today because I kept laughing (because the whole situation is completely ludicrous) while I was trying to explain why cheating is bad.
Mr. A thinks if we asked FIL why he helped M cheat, FIL’s answer would be “It was a TEST. She needed to get a good GRADE!” I am also reminded of a story about FIL when he was growing up. I think there was a story that he had tutors or servants who did his homework for him.
I also think the fact that both Mr. A and is father seemed incapable of keeping a preschool test in perspective and were at all concerned about her “grade” says a lot. Mr. A thinks it is very funny. I am more than a little appalled that M has been taught to cheat on her very first test ever.
According to my boyfriend who grew up in China, EVERYONE cheats! The teachers don’t care – they just leave the room during the tests. One of his teachers’ philosophies, which he explained to the class, was that when you cheat during a test, it helps you remember that answer better than if you had actually studied to learn it on your own.
Hilarious-but scary-good luck navigating this dynamic-you can do it ; ) ~lmc
That is hilarious. I have never seen anything like it. I have had parents come in to a parent conference and ask if their child is on track to go to Harvard (at age 6!), but I have never seen that!
Sometimes things I read here just hit too close to home… Our kid is in first grade in “regular school” but a combined 1-2nd grade in Chinese School. My husband is obsessed about her Chinese school tests, character regognition, writing and speaking…. He spends lots of time in “test prep” mode with her at the kitchen table after dinner going over and OVER the work with her – I try to stay out of it and let it be “their thing” but it inevitably ends in one of them having a melt down. Mind you this is chinese-american man who is functionally illiterate in Chinese (dropped out of chinese school in 3rd grade). I think it is either some wierd thing to please his parents since his sister sent her kids to Hebrew school instead of Chinese school or he wants to show off to the other chinese parents that even with a “white-devil” wife his kid can still master the mother tongue. By the way what is it with all the contests/prizes at chinese school??
As we haven’t had real tests in “regular school” yet I can’t say how he’ll handle that. I have a hint though, we received a report of some sort of “giftedness diagnostic test” our kid took and she scored a 98% – I was rather proud of this and showed it to him when he got home. I kid you not, his first response was I wonder what she got wrong. His second was I wonder what the Chinese boy in her class got!
Can we at least see a picture of the ill-gotten bear?
From my recent experiences I would say that this attitude is not just at Chinese schools. Cheating is not looked at the way it was when I was a child. People were expelled from college for plagarism. Cheating was something only losers did. Now you are a loser if you don’t cheat. Getting a good grade is what is important, not learning the material. Being the ‘best’ is all important in sports as well as school. Using steroids is the smart thing to do, not ‘cheating’. What does it matter if you had someone else take your SAT’s? You got into Harvard, didn’t you? That is what matters. And the truth is that whether you cheated or not to get into an Ivy league school you will probably get a degree from there and it will make a difference in your career opportunities. It’s a whole different world out there.
Sounds familiar. I think you’ve just described my entire 11 years of Chinese education. I remember a girl in third grade, absolutely freaking the hell out, crying and hyperventilating because she got a 91 out of 100 in a test. She said her mom would spank her for getting a 91 instead of a 99. We had these ‘tests’ too. They were called ‘ting xie’, literally meaning, ‘hear write’. For a bit, I could memorise and write every word then forget it immediately after the test. In high school, my teacher gave up and allowed me to write the alphabetical pronunciation of the words instead. Punishment for failing included public humiliation at school, church and home, being kept back at school, being made to write the words over 10 times each and other fun stuff. Supposedly, punishment would make us learn the Chinese language better and be ‘better’ Chinese people but well, I can recognise and write maybe 2 words of Chinese and speak nothing of it. In part because I started hating everything about the language and country after about 6 years due to all the harping and punishment. My sister on the other hand, had an absolute blast learning Chinese in, of all places, an international school. I hope M has a better time learning Chinese.