Earlier today, I was trying to figure out why the school thing is bothering me so much this week.
I think it was triggered by receiving M’s preschool class photo. I couldn’t help but figure out the ratio of white kids vs. kids of color. It was 11:14 (13 of them Asian or hapa). In other parts of the country, it wouldn’t be such big deal to find a class that is over half Asian. But in the midwest, that is a really, really high percentage of Asian kids.
Being at this school has been great for M. All three of her teachers are from Korea. She has classmates who speak Korean, Chinese, Japanese, German, Hindi and Spanish at home. Just yesterday, M came home saying “Mama! Can I bring one of my Chinese books to school? Mrs. Kim asked us to bring in a book that is not in English! I told her I have Chinese books! I will bring one! She said GREAT!” M is excited to show off her Chinese and several of her classmates also attend her Chinese school. M sings a few songs in Korean. She talks about the different skin colors in her class with admiration. The year end picnic is a multi-cultural feast.
I can’t say we haven’t had our issues with the school. There have been a few times when there were culture clashes between myself and Mrs. Kim, but overall it has been good. It has been a place where I don’t have to worry that M will feel out of place.
Today, we were talking about earwax. (Aren’t we always talking about earwax?) M wanted to know why I use Qtips and not the earstick. I explained that all my ancestors are from Europe and Europeans usually have sticky ear wax. Then I explained that Mr. A’s relatives were all Asian and most Asians have dry ear wax. I could see the little wheels turning in her head:
”But what about me? My ancestors are from Europe AND Asia? But my earwax is dry! It isn’t like yours! I must have the Asian kind, it’s dry. But I have brown hair like YOU Mama. And your hair is like the the hair in Europe! So some of me is like Asia and some of me is like Europe! Wow!”
(And seriously, she is so FIVE right now. That all came out as one huge, enthusiastic run-on sentence.)
“Yes, you have ancestors who are both Asian and European. You are a mixture of both kinds of ancestry. What do you think about that?” I asked.
“Oh, mama. It’s so GREAT!…..Can I watch a show now?”
The older she gets, the more time she is going to spend at school. I just hope she will always feel as comfortable with herself as she does right now. The older she gets, the less we will be able to protect her from the big bad world out there.
That is just so great. May she always feel so good about both sides of her heritage!
I love her perception, how exciting it is for her to be discovering her heritage and loving who she is!
Wow! Her class has such a high percentage of kids of Asian descent. Why on earth do you feel you might be throwing your kids under a bus in this situation? It’s fabulous! My husband (who’s half Japanese and the other half a mix of black and white) grew up in a suburb outside of NY and attended a high school that was almost predominately white, a fact which still haunts him (not because he had issues with his own identity as much as he feels he went to a segragated school)–just goes to show that urban areas aren’t always as diverse and integrated as one might expect. Yay for the midwest! That’s awesome. Oh, and M’s thoughts on her heritage are so adorable (and so cute that she connected this via earwax).
“The older she gets, the more time she is going to spend at school. I just hope she will always feel as comfortable with herself as she does right now. The older she gets, the less we will be able to protect her from the big bad world out there.”
True, but you are working on giving her strategies and confidence so as she gets older, she will gradually be able to depend on herself to do any “self-defense” she needs.
You’re doing a great job.
I hear ya. I know we’re white, but we are from another country and speak another language at home. That’s why I’m really happy with the tiny private school my son goes to even though academically it may not be the best there could be for him (he can work at his own pace, though, and is doing 1st grade level math).
Out of 14 kids there is/are: one Asian, two hapas, two African Americans, two Mexicans, and three Puerto Rican/Guatemalans and one Brazilian (him). There are only two white American kids. In addition, the five Hispanic kids speak Spanish at home the same way we speak Portuguese.
I hope M does well at her new school in spite of the fact that it’s not very diverse.
zoe:
I think the issue is that she has a high percentage of kids of color in her preschool, but next year she is going to kindergarten in an entirely new setting and will no longer have that diverse of classroom. (Correct me if I’m wrong, Amber.)
With Chinese School, your connections in the community, and perhaps some of these preschool kids can remain connected, I wonder if that will be enough. (I’m just rhetorically thinking, not making any kind of statement or judgment.) I guess I’m wondering, if a parent has no choice but to send their kid of color to a school with very low percentage of other kids of color, can it be compensated for in other ways? Or is just the mere hours that a kid spends in that setting predominate their experience as a kid of color.
If there is a way to compensate for new school, I’m sure you will find it, though.