Comments on: talking about race at age 5 http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 01:51:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jenny http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/comment-page-1/#comment-90677 Jenny Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:20:46 +0000 http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/#comment-90677 I'm interested to see the conversation about "You like [x] because you're Chinese." As a white person, that's something I'd be really nervous about saying to my daughter (or anyone else.) Recently, we were out at a Chinese restaurant with an older friend of my daughter's, who said, "I get it! She likes Chinese food because she's Chinese!" I said, mildly, "You like Chinese food and you're not Chinese, and M likes Mexican food and she's not Mexican. What other kinds of food do you like?" But maybe it would have been appropriate to say something like Mr. A said -- more along the lines of "Yes, lots of people in China eat this kind of food," or even "Yes, she's a good Chinese girl"??? I still feel weird about that last thing. Maybe because I do not have a Mr. A equivalent. :) I’m interested to see the conversation about “You like [x] because you’re Chinese.” As a white person, that’s something I’d be really nervous about saying to my daughter (or anyone else.) Recently, we were out at a Chinese restaurant with an older friend of my daughter’s, who said, “I get it! She likes Chinese food because she’s Chinese!” I said, mildly, “You like Chinese food and you’re not Chinese, and M likes Mexican food and she’s not Mexican. What other kinds of food do you like?” But maybe it would have been appropriate to say something like Mr. A said — more along the lines of “Yes, lots of people in China eat this kind of food,” or even “Yes, she’s a good Chinese girl”???

I still feel weird about that last thing. Maybe because I do not have a Mr. A equivalent. :)

]]> By: meg http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/comment-page-1/#comment-90632 meg Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:02:48 +0000 http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/#comment-90632 we are starting to get a lot of race questions in our house (kids ages 7,5 and 3).....mostly from the 5 year old.....my 7 year old gets that everyone is different and that is okay with him....I have a lot of freckles and they often put me in my own "spotty" category!- but I will be going out and getting the book you mention because the 5 year old is really processing this issue........ Meg we are starting to get a lot of race questions in our house (kids ages 7,5 and 3)…..mostly from the 5 year old…..my 7 year old gets that everyone is different and that is okay with him….I have a lot of freckles and they often put me in my own “spotty” category!- but I will be going out and getting the book you mention because the 5 year old is really processing this issue……..
Meg

]]> By: Elaine http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/comment-page-1/#comment-90626 Elaine Thu, 07 Aug 2008 04:27:14 +0000 http://american-family.org/2008/08/06/talking-about-race-at-age-5/#comment-90626 My 6 year old equates being Chinese with being born in China or having ancestors from China. She's also pretty aware of skin color. According to her she and her sister have 'light brown' skin, I have 'pink' skin and her Javanese Nanny has 'dark brown' skin. We live among people with such gradations of brown that she has to be specific, I guess. She hasn't gotten differences in other features, although she did tell me that her Chinese Indonesian friend has eyes like hers. But she insists that the Korean kids at her school do not have eyes like hers. Watching her try to piece together identity is a fascinating thing. When someone here asks her where she's from she usually says, "China" and then "I was born in China, but I used to live in America so I'm an American but now I live here". Think we've made her identity complex enough? My 6 year old equates being Chinese with being born in China or having ancestors from China. She’s also pretty aware of skin color. According to her she and her sister have ‘light brown’ skin, I have ‘pink’ skin and her Javanese Nanny has ‘dark brown’ skin. We live among people with such gradations of brown that she has to be specific, I guess.
She hasn’t gotten differences in other features, although she did tell me that her Chinese Indonesian friend has eyes like hers. But she insists that the Korean kids at her school do not have eyes like hers.
Watching her try to piece together identity is a fascinating thing. When someone here asks her where she’s from she usually says, “China” and then “I was born in China, but I used to live in America so I’m an American but now I live here”. Think we’ve made her identity complex enough?

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