Coming back to what I was saying yesterday, Mr. A and I both have experience with gifted programs and it is unavoidably influencing our decision-making process.
When I was in third grade, I tested as reading at a college level. I was in a rural consolidated school district with few resources. They stuck me in the TAG program, but it was only an enrichment program not an acceleration program. Basically, one day a week I got to go to another building to read books and mess around. Sure, they were more interesting books (Bridge to Terabithia, The Tripods, the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, etc), but we weren’t required to do any work besides reading and discussing them. We also had some projects, most of them inexplicably centered around science fiction (why?) and we endlessly talked about stupid Bloom’s Taxonomy, but again, there was no required work output.
In addition to doing TAG work, we were required to do all the work that was going on in our regular classroom. That pissed me off because I figured I was already at school and I was being forced to do six days of work instead of five like everyone else. I felt like it was a punishment for going to TAG. In sixth grade, my sucky attitude about make-up work pissed off my teacher who then put me in regular math for 7th grade instead of advanced math. (Probably because I got a B for refusing to do the extra homework…the joke was on me because my 7th grade teacher realized I needed to be in the higher class and the next year I had to work extra hard to catch up in algebra. )
I was almost always bored in school, which lead to excessive socializing and being somewhat disruptive. As a popular kid, I was much more interested in the social game than I ever was in my school work (which required maybe 1% of my attention) and it showed. I spent my entire 9th grade English class reading every single definition in the dictionary during class because the teacher sat me in the far back corner alone so I couldn’t talk to a friend (this was actually very useful come SAT time). One year, a friend and I developed an elaborate sign language so we could talk during class without passing notes. I could do all my homework without any effort at all besides skimming through the text books. In 10th grade, I would do my geometry proofs and then do all my friends’ proofs (in different ways than mine and written in different handwriting) for fun at lunch. I am not trying to defend my bad attitude, I was definitely a pain in the ass of my long-suffering teachers.
I was tracked into all the highest-level and AP classes and it never once felt challenging. I never learned to study. I never learned to work hard. By the time I got to choosing a college, even though I was being heavily recruited*and offered a number of full-ride scholarships because I was a national merit scholar. When I chose my college, I actively chose a school that would let me coast my way through because I was terrified I would fail at a harder school because I didn’t know how to study and I knew my High School didn’t prepare me for that kind of education.
Mr. A went to a much better school in a biggish city and he had harder classes available. He had parents who pushed him to do academically challenging work outside of school too, like taking college calculus classes while he was an early high school student. The downside was that Mr. A was a smart kid who was kind of socially awkward –at least that is what he says now. (I don’t know first hand because I didn’t know him then, but he was certainly still a little awkward and quirky when we first met.)
Mr. A and I attended the same big state university on the same full-ride + all expenses paid national merit-based scholarship. I coasted through taking super-easy classes and continuing to do very little work. I was a sterotypical underacheiver and I still am. Mr. A double majored in English and Philosophy, minored in Chinese AND completed the full pre-med curriculum (just in case he decided to go to medical school). He was also managed to get admitted to both Harvar*d and Stan*ford for law school**. He is a classic over-achiever.
Coming from those experiences, we are trying to find a middle ground for our kids. We want them to be challenged, to learn to work hard, and even to have the opportunity to fail because something is too difficult for them. We to be able to fit in in school without being socially awkward. I don’t care what college they go to or what career they ends up choosing, but if they want to do something hard, I want them to be confident and prepared.
I have more to say about the choices we have made and are making and why I think enrichment is nice but acceleration is more important, but I guess that needs to be another post. L is getting fidgety, so I gotta go.
*In addition to being a national merit scholar, I was considered a desirable minority that could add to fancy school’s diversity as an “Appalachian white” –an under-represented group in colleges. Never mind that I was not the first generation in my family to attend college, nor was I economically disadvantaged.
**To his great dismay, he was waitlisted by Yale. Even hardworking Mr. A got a rude awakening when he discovered he was merely mediocre in law school. It shook his whole fragile smarty-pants identity.
Good point about there being a difference between enriched and accelerated programs. I wouldn’t mind hearing more of your thoughts on that. It’s also been making me reflect on my own school experiences.
I was more of a neurotic, perfectionistic underachiever. The things I was good at, I was far beyond everyone else (at least in my memory and other parent’s grumblings). The things I was poor at, I had little idea/confidence/experience/strategy for actually studying and learning. Oh, and I was “different” and socially awkward. Made for an interesting combination.
Your story about spending time in the library reminded me of my sixth grade teacher, who would routinely let me go to the library by myself to pick out a couple of extra books, which I usually would have devoured by the end of the day! I was happy enough to read all day, but it was just busy work. I got some attention for my writing/reading, but no special encouragement that I can recall. With the disparity between my high skills and low skills, most edu people didn’t know what to do with me, which still makes me sad. I remember feeling strange that people made a big deal about the areas I was fantastic in, then awkward about my weak areas, as if they could not understand why could I not just be fantastic all around? What was wrong with me? etc. So it took me years and years to have the experiences that helped me learn to achieve, rather than just float along. And then I finally discovered more things I was good at and enjoyed doing.
My parents were actually very gung ho about enrichment activities (and we loved it!), but tended to pigeon-hole my sisters and I into our respective easy areas. I had art enrichment and my sister had math/science, when in fact we could both have used more fun stuff/encouragement for our less-obvious strengths. (Perhaps it can be unwise to focus only on the obvious strengths of a given child?)
Kudos to teachers who encourage/challenge the whole person. (Sorry, I think I just wrote a book, here!)
I had a lousy small town education. I never studied, very rarely had homework and graduated at the top of my class. Trust me, not a major achievement since I graduated without ever having to take a history, chemistry, physics or biology class!! I did however take shorthand and typing…yeah, great school!!lol A university education was not encouraged, either by the school or by my family. I do remember one teacher telling me I had lousy work and study habits and I’d pay the price some day. After high school, I worked for 4 years and then headed off to college for 2 years and then university for 4. My study habits still stank! I really didn’t work hard at it…I was probably a B+/A- student overall, but could have done much better if I’d had any study and work habits. I’m really trying to instill good school work habits in my 10 year old. Thankfully, he also takes after his father who was a great student, worked hard, set goals and worked for them for as long as required, attended Princeton and learned to speak Mandarin during his undergraduate degree, went on to law school, etc…also your classic overachiever. At least he had a purpose…I’m now in my 40s and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!!lol In that way, I hope my kids take after DH more than me…he always set goals and worked towards them…I get bored easily and flit from this to that… Oh, and also wanted to mention that I skipped a grade (7) and personally prefer enrichment to advancement. So far, our son is enjoying enrichment, but I think he’d very much be against skipping a grade… at this point, his friends are really important and I don’t think I’d push it.
Julie
I wish you would have been my friend in high school, I needed someone to do geometry proofs for me!!
Sort of off subject here, but have your read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell? It’s got some interesting ideas about achievement and culture. I think it would make good fodder if you’re looking for topics.
VERY interested to hear all of your thoughts on this – I was also tracked into my school’s gifted program, developed mediocre study habits at best (though thank you Ms. Holton for kicking our asses in writing!)
, and then coasted through most of HS and college and the year of law school I did before leaving.
I was content with the occasional B, and I rarely felt the internal drive to push myself academically, so the fact that my educational institutions weren’t challenging me meant that I ended up getting more and more comfortable with mediocrity. Like Julie, I’m pretty directionless now, and can’t help but feel that there’s some connection between those two things. Listening to your thoughts, as well as Mr. A’s, is really helpful in having a new way to approach all of this.
It’s interesting to see how different you and Mr. A’s approaches were to being gifted in school.
I was GT, except for math. I got good grades in high school, except for math. We only had one teacher teach higher math in high school and he kept passing me even though I failed the tests, so I kept plugging away in confusion all the way through calculus. It was horrible.
Anyway, I didn’t have it as easy at you, but I still mostly coasted. Until college. I started out at a huge, major state university and got my butt kicked. I transferred to a regional university and had to work a bit, but my GPA immediately went up .5 a point.
Anyway, my question – how will you feel if L is an average or student? Our adopted twins are both smart, but not gifted like Holly and I were. Our daughter will do really well academically, Ben will be average or a bit above, but they are both gifted athletically. Even at four, the peewee coaches salivate over them. It’s kind of cool and way different than we had.
I have many things to say, but no time to say them. I’ll try to email you.
Enrichment AND acceleration. I was lucky to have both.
And as far as kids learning they are not #1 at everything; I didn’t figure that out until I got to college and 50% of the class had been valedictorians. I was not, and it was the first time I was “below average”. It was humbling, but it happens to all of us at some point, and it is a learning experience.