In the not so many years since I was a little kid, it seems like parenting norms have changed a lot.
My parents didn’t think anything of leaving me sitting in a car while they ran into a store. Nor did they seem to stress out over how old I should be when the left me home alone for the first time. On the other hand, they didn’t have carseats and would have let me juggle knives if I really wanted to.
We also lived in a really small town or rural area back then. Now that I live in a bigger city (granted, in a a pretty benign suburb), I am pretty sure I would wait longer than my parents did for a lot of things.
I am not really sure what the acceptability is for this kind of stuff now. Maybe I am being paranoid. As L and M are getting older, I am realizing we are going to have to start figuring this stuff out. So I thought I would do a very unscientific survey.
I have conflicted feelings about each of the following questions:
1) At what age is a child old enough to be left alone in a car while you are out of sight for between 5-10 minutes ? ( for example to run into a store or pick up another other child)
2) At what age would you feel comfortable leaving a child home alone for up to 30 minutes?
3) At what age would you let your child go play alone (no adults) outside in your yard?
4) What age would you let them walk 1-2 blocks to play alone in a park?
5) At what age would you let your child have a sleepover with a friend from school if you had only met that child’s parent a few times in passing?
I am curious how these decisions are made by other families and what factors you would take into consideration. I am going to keep my own thoughts to myself, so I won’t bias the answers.
Feel free to answer anonymously if you really want to.
I don’t have children, but I’m not too far removed from childhood and my much younger brother is only 14, so I’ll share our parent’s choices.
1) I think I was allowed to stay in the car alone once I was in like 4th or 5th grade.
2) In the fenced in back yard, probably 5 or 6. The open front yard was closer to 7 or 8, and even then I had to stay where I could be seen.
4) Like 18! Haha, my mother always preferred if we walked to the local park with friends, never alone. I could go with friends (no adults) once I was 11 or 12.
5) I had playdates, like a few hours with a friend over, when I was in kindergarten. I don’t recall spending the night with a friend until I was in like 2nd or 3rd grade. But I don’t remember sleepovers being a big thing until I was in 5th grade and middle school.
1. I don’t like to do this even now with Noah but it would depend on the parking lot. Giant Eagle? Never really (been accosted by change spongers too often). The library? I’m surprised I haven’t done it before.
2. We just started this with Noah but we don’t leave him alone w/Madison. He likely could have handled it early but HE didn’t think so.
3. We let Noah play in our backyard at our old house from the get-go (he was four when we moved in). It was a fully fenced, very private backyard. I let Madison play on our driveway alone now or play in the front yard while I’m inside. I didn’t like Noah playing in the front yard without me at our old house but that’s because we had some transient activity that made us nervous. Like the guy sleeping under our van.
4. I think Noah was ten? At first it was just the school park and then when he felt comfortable it was tennis court park or library. Also at first he’d take a cell phone (he was more nervous than we were — that’s Noah for you!) and even now he often calls me from the free library phone.
5. That’s not an age thing — that’s a how I feel about the parents thing. Because they can sure get in more trouble the older they get. As it happens, I know all of Noah’s friends’ parents pretty well. Last year he spent the night with a friend from synagogue and we didn’t know that mom AS well but Brett had spent quite a few mornings/afternoons chatting with her when he was doing something at temple and he felt ok with it.
A lot of this just depends so much on the kid. Given Madison’s impulsivity, I’m betting some of this stuff will happen later for her but then, too, she’ll likely WANT it more than Noah ever has so she’ll probably push for it more.
I was just talked with my husband about this last night. I said that I would never let my kid walk to school at the age that my parents let us walk to school by ourselves. (I was in third grade, my brother in kindergarten – I was entrusted to get him there)
Not that anything bad ever happened…. and we both are here to talk about it… but I cannot imagine letting my kids do that same now.
1- I would say that not until the kids are 8 or nine… depending on the child of course!
2- Again, I think that at 8 or 9 years old (depending on the kid) a child is able to be at home alone for 30 minutes or an hour. But anything beyond that I would have to really consider a sitter.
3- MY yard? right now my 4 year old goes outside alone – while we are inside (with our permission) but we live in the country in a very secluded area… away from roads.
4- I think that this is again that 8-9 years old mark. I seem to hit that one a low huh? I cannot wait until my kids are in that range! Of course I would never send them without a buddy – or sibling!
5- I don’t think that I can put an AGE on that… I would want to know the parents more than in passing now matter what age!
I have no idea and now I have to worry about it.
I just know that I had a ton of freedom as a kid and I doubt my children will be so carefree 
I too have very conflicted feelings about this for many reasons…some cultural but mostly because on one hand I think we can’t live in fear and need to teach kids to be more independent, responsible and autonomous BUT then I see shows or hear of kidnapped kids and get all scared and panicky. I think a lot depends on the kid her/himself, the area you live and the people you know. My answers are a combination of what I would, ideally, like and what I have to actually implement as we have some impulsivity and lack of common sense problems.
1) I still don’t do this but mine is very tall for her age so probably when she hits around thirteen if living in our area, younger if we moved somewhere else. Our area is just not conducive to this.
2) Normally at about 12 but my kid? Not sure…I’d have to trust that she wouldn’t open the door, that she wouldn’t try to cook, etc., and we are not there yet. Also, some states have rules about this… just thought I’d mention it.
3) At about four or five as long as I knew the yard was well fenced (couldn’t open the gates) and I was nearby enough to go check every now and then. Front yard? Depends on where I’m living…anywhere from five to eight but again, depends on the kid and the area.
4) Between ten and 12 seems ideal to me but in our case probably 13 unless she does it w/ a friend or two.
5) This is a cultural thing for us…we just don’t do sleepovers so we are currently in the bargaining stage. If I know the parents well enough and can trust that they’ll take care of my kid I might do it younger than 10 (we haven’t though).
Wow…what a difference from the way I grew up, going to the stores by myself, latchkey kid, staying home alone reading if I didn’t want to go somewhere with my parents, playing all over the neighborhood, like you said…I could probably have juggled knives if I had wanted to!LOL
1. I honestly have no idea, and am wrestling with this one myself. I know I was pretty little, and have memories of roasting in the car with a book for what felt like HOURS while my dad did grocery shopping.
2. Twelve? Thirteen? A lot depends on how mature she ends up being. (She’s six now; definitely not yet.)
3. She’s currently doing so, but I’m checking on her frequently. We live on a road with very little traffic, and even so, she was told to stay IN THE BACKYARD and not in the front.
4. Depends on the traffic, neighborhood, etc. Ten? I will admit, though, that I’m kind of overprotective; there’s part of me saying, “Thirty! Thirty-seven!” Heh.
5. This would have to be pretty old, honestly, and I’d have to chat with the parents (at least) on the phone first. We live in an area where people believe pretty strongly in the right to bear arms, and I would want to make sure that any guns in the house were secure before my daughter spent any time in the house.
I have a hard time with a lot of this, though. While we live in a relatively safe neighborhood, and my cop neighbors park their patrol cars in the driveway (which at least gives me the illusion of safety), that’s no guarantee. And, as I said, I’m overprotective. Sigh.
I honestly don’t know about some of them. I do believe a lot of it depends on the kid in question. My oldest is 8. I wouldn’t leave her alone at home except to walk to a neighbors. On the other hand, I let her and my 5 year old play outside by themselves around the neighborhood last summer, with the rules that they stuck together and with the other group of kids playing outside. Cars make me nervous so I tend toI avoid that. I’d say teenager though?
I don’t know. We’re not there yet for a lot of these questions. I do know that when you live on a military base, they give out guidelines, and it is illegal to leave a child under 12 home alone. I think I’d go by this.
1) For five minutes or less, say to run into the convenience store to pay for gas or something – already done it, and the twins are four. Ten minutes will have to wait awhile. I can’t trust them to remember to follow the rules alone in the car for that long.
2) Depends on the kid. I was babysitting three kids at a time when I was 11, so that would be my first guess, but I was pretty trustworthy. I’ll have to see what the twins are like when they get closer to double digits.
3) We’ve also done this, for short periods of time, maybe to play on the front porch while I read by the front window, or to get something out of the car. But, being twins, they rarely do anything alone. They love to tattle on each other, so I don’t know if it is the same.
4) twelve?
5) We’d probably allow it now, after we’d talked to the parents. I’d be much more hesitent to let the twins sleep over at someone else’s house…
1. My oldest is 10 and I will do it now very occasionally, really depends on the circumstances. For instance, I’ll let him sit in the car if I’m going into a friend’s house to to get my daughter and I’m parked in a driveway. I wouldn’t do it at a mall where he’s far from me but might do it at the neighbourhood convenience store or drug store.
2. I certainly wouldn’t leave my 10 year old alone at home at this point, but if I were to guess when I would, I’d say 12 or so. I do think all of these things depend on the child. Our 4 year old daughter in many ways already seems much more independent than our 10 year old son.
3. Our house has a fully fenced in back yard and I definitely will let the kids play alone. I probably let my son out on his own for bits of time when he was 4-5 years old. That being said, I would only do so if I was working in the kitchen which overlooked the back yard.
4. As I mentioned, my son is 10. We moved into this new neighbourhood last year and it’s much quieter than our last neighbourhood. As soon as we moved in, kids started coming to ring the doorbell to ask if he could come biking with them in the neighbourhood. I loved it and it scared the hell out of me at the same time. I love the idea of the kids out on their bikes in the neighbourhood, it’s so much what my childhood was like, but we do live midtown in a very large city so it does make me nervous. I’m getting better at letting him go, but even now, he has to take a walkie talkie and check in regularly. I feel more at ease when he’s biking through the neighbourhood or going from one friend’s house to another as compared to the park, but I will let him go to the park as long as he’s with one or more friends. Letting go can really be hard at times, but how else will they learn?
5. Definitely now. He’s making a life outside of our immediate circle and we’re allowing him to stay overnight at the homes of school friends. This being said, we do know these people, they’re just not necessarily close friends of ours but overall, the kids have known each other since Grade 1. I agree with Jess above though that if there were many guns in the various houses, that would have to be addressed. However, I’m Canadian and I’ve never seen a gun other than on a police officer and I know that most people here are the same way. Also, if it’s a friend whose parents I don’t know particularly well, I’ll usually ask that the kid sleep over here first so I can get a better grip on the kid/family. This being said, our 10 year old has only ever slept at 4 friends’ houses, so it’s not really a big deal. I also feel more comfortable sending him to friends’ houses where there aren’t many older kids and such because sometimes I worry more about him if he’s at a friend’s house and the friend has older siblings who in turn have friends over and such. I generally like to have a pretty good idea just who will be at the house when my kid is there and whom he will come into contact with.
I’d say that overall I’m a bit overprotective but I’m working hard at allowing my son his independence. I think for us part of the issue is that he’s such an absent minded professor kind of kid that I worry about him…his sister is totally on the ball and never misses a thing going on around her so I might feel a bit more comfortable letting go with her – and I’ll have been through it with her brother already, so I might be better at it!lol
We live just outside of a BIG city so my answers may vary from those who live in a smaller area. My child is almost 13.
1) I still will not leave her alone in the car unless it is to run into a convience store where I can still see the car.
2) Just within the last year we have started letting her stay home alone for short periods of time. We both work 30 mins. from home and live in a new build area and I am not comfortable leaving her with so many construction workers coming and going all the time. She also does not attend the local public school so she is not home alone after school. I always tell her, it is not her I don’t trust it everything else that concerns me. If the dynamics were a bit different, she would be allowed to stay home alone much more.
3)Because she doesn’t go to the local public school she doesn’t have many neighborhood friends, so no desire to be outside by herself. There is one boy who lives around the corner who goes to her school that will come and pick her up and bring her back home when they are done riding bikes etc.
4)I still would not let her walk by herself. She is too darn cute. (See above construction workers etc).
5)She had been having sleep over since about 1st grade with people we “know”. A few weeks ago she had her 1st sleep over with a friend whos parents I don’t really know. It was hard to let her go.
I am extremely over protective of her but the way I see it, she is the only one we have and its my job to protect her.
Good post. I have 4 kids (21, 19, 16 and 6) and for the most part my feelings on what I think is safe hasn’t changed.
1). About age 10.
2). Around 4th grade provided they don’t answer the phone unless it’s me or dad on caller i.d., maybe 3rd grade if it’s just to run up to the store for a gallon of milk.
3). 5. We have definite boundaries and I keep a very close eye out the window or door. I need to lay eyes on her or hear her every 5 minutes or so.
4). Never. Just kidding. Uh, the park? Not for a long, long time. We live in a subdivision with only 1 exit/entrance and I think I let my big kids loose in about 2nd grade to go to the playground. I’m no where near ready to let my 6 year old do that.
5). We were doing sleepovers with the big kids in kindergarten, but Abby isn’t ready for it yet. I think it depends on the kid. I was way more willing to let other kids sleep at our house rather than my kid sleeping at theirs.
Around here where I live (my babies arn’t born yet… but give me about 20 more week…)
1. Here in MA, you can have the police/DSS called on for endangering a child by leaving them alone in a car. In a driveway while I ran in… well, I am having Triplets so most likely that will start right away as I can only carry 1 or 2 at a time!!! At a store/library…etc- I have seen people get in trouble until the child is at least 12-13.
2. For short periods by 4th grade. For anything over 15-20 minutes probably 5th or 6th grade. For anything over a few hours (with constant checking in… i.e. when they are home sick and I need to go to work) or night time, babysitter until at least 6th or 7th grade.
3. I live in a small town with a really nice, clear boundaries backyard. I would probably start letting them go out at 4. I might let them continue playing alone outside at a younger age if I was just running in to grab the phone/a glass of water..
4. Walking to the park would be a bit older only because we don’t have one really close. It would be almost a mile walk. To a friends’ house down the street, probably 6 or so, especially if they were to call when they got there.
5. 2nd grade or so.
I can’t comment on all of them. I should be working…..! But #5 is an AWESOME way to meet those parents on a more relaxed level. You might get invited in at the drop-off or pick up and you can get the lay of their land and all that stuff you need as a mom. I just did the dropoff for a playdate on Saturday that turned into a 90 minute “stay and chat” and I learned so much more about their family and shared about mine. I already liked her before at our usual 5 minute convo length but now I really think I have another mom friend in the neighborhood.
On another note, we have police in the family and I was grilling one of my uncles with the “legal age” for some of these same questions and he said it’s all related to the level of responsibility that the child is left with when they are left alone or in charge of completing a task.
So leaving your oldest home alone while you run the other one to a neighbor’s….your discretion, but leaving the TWO of them alone while you run to store, depends on time alone and age and what time of day and what the level of care needed to be while you were gone. Ok this post is as long as if I had answered all of the questions…..!
1) Parked in my driveway or my parents’ driveway, I’d do that now (so 5y8m). Anywhere else, not yet.
2) Completely alone, not yet.
3) 4 or so. Our yard has no fence.
4) Not yet.
5) “I would miss my parents too much.” With her best friend from preschool, 4 or 5. If sleepovers were a thing in kindergarten, I’d probably be fine with sleepovers now.
well, as a FYI: According to the National Child Care Information Center, only Maryland and Illinois have specific laws stipulating the age at which a child can be left home alone.
However, the National SAFEKIDS Campaign recommends that no child under the age of 12 be left home alone.
and personally, I have a 6 and 12 year old…both girls.
1)At what age is a child old enough to be left alone in a car while you are out of sight for between 5-10 minutes ? I rarely do this – but not before 10…I just don’t feel it is worth the heartache I’d live with if anything were to happen.
2) At what age would you feel comfortable leaving a child home alone for up to 30 minutes? again – rarely do this; but about 11…my daughter was not comfortable being left alone before this.
3) At what age would you let your child go play alone (no adults) outside in your yard? about 4..but our yard is fenced-in…and I was usually watching from window.
4) What age would you let them walk 1-2 blocks to play alone in a park?
alone — I don’t do this now…too many kids are abducted when they are walking/riding bikes alone. And we live in one of the quietest, suburban areas there is. Maybe I’m just too protective?
5) At what age would you let your child have a sleepover with a friend from school if you had only met that child’s parent a few times in passing?
Sleepovers started in our house when older daughter was in 3rd grade…but younger will probably have one soon…but with a family we know well.
Most of the families we are friends with have similar rules as ours…maybe why our kids don’t complain about it. That is just the way it is!
There a lots of local ordinances about leaving kids unattended, and I feared running afoul of them more than I feared anything actually happening to my kid.
We didn’t have a car or yard, when our kids were younger, because we lived in Tokyo. I let them walk to school by themselves from age 6, which was the age I started leaving them alone at home, and allowing them to go to neighborhood parks by themselves. And I would leave them home all day alone, if they were sick (not VERY sick, just a little sick) from the age of 7. These were the cultural norms, where we lived. We’ll be moving back there in a few months, and our 6-year old will be a latchkey kid, until his big sister gets home from school.
Sleepovers are another thing entirely. I think I would have to have at least a bare minimum impression of the parents, before I say yes at any age.
Unless I’m totally off, certain jurisdictions have laws about it being illegal to leave a child alone in a vehicle. Have no idea *which* jurisdictions, and what the age parameters are. But living in Texas as I do, I would not leave a kid alone in a vehicle for any length of time because of the seriously rapid rate at which the inside of the vehicle can get hellishly hot. FWIW, my kid is about to turn 5 and I have never left her alone in a vehicle, not even to run into a convenience store. It’s a big PITA, but there you have it.
Do you know, as my children are much older now, most of these things have been forgotten!! This is what I think I did when they were small :
1. Left my child in bed sleeping whilst I dashed across the road to the nursery to pick up another child. Time elapsed : 5 mins tops. Can’t remember ever leaving them in a car alone, but that’s not to say I didn’t!
2. Leaving an awake child alone for 30 minutes I would have not considered until they were at least 8 years old
3. my son would play outside our yard from about 7 years old as there were a crowd of children in the street who always played together and usually went across the street to the school playing fields together.
4. I allowed by son to walk to the local library alone which was on the same block (no roads to cross) when he was around 7 years old. The walk was about 5 minutes. I knew the librarian quite well and she would ring me to tell me he had arrived safely, and ring me when he left to begin the journey home.
5. Sleepovers with friends where I didn’t know the parents personally, probably about 12 or 13. My daughter did have a sleep over of about 7 of her friends when she was around 10 and I certainly didn’t know all of the mothers of said girls personally, but then again, there were a “gaggle” of them, so I guess the parents thought “safety in numbers”
6. I was only saying to a colleague yesterday that I allowed my son to ride his bicycle to school on his own when he was 10. There were 2 roads to cross, and he met up with friends along the way, but boy, that was hard. I was always on pins until I knew he had got there (and back) safely!! I didn’t have too many worried though because he only did it about 4 times and then decided that it was too tiring!
1) Have already left one or more children in a car by themselves in a friend’s driveway or outside the ballet studio for 10 minutes. Children mostly didn’t want to be left alone until the last … 12 months? 18 months? So probably age 7, or just before. I might now let them stay together in the grocery-store parking lot for 10 minutes by themselves, if they were all together. But I’d be worried about the police in those circumstances, so I would probably yell at them to just unbuckle and come in already.
2) As early as kindergarten, I would walk down to the bus stop (cannot see the stop from our house) while leaving a sick child alone back at the house. They might be alone for 15 minutes under those circumstances.
We live at the end of a cul-de-sac, have a dog and an alarm, and no one could drive up to the house without my knowing it. There’s only one road into our neighborhood and only 27 houses. So that definitely affects my sense of privacy/control over our surroundings.
I might feel comfortable leaving the kids alone while I left the neighborhood to run a 30-minute errand by the time they are 10. But I probably won’t find that out until the day comes when I need to pick up something at the grocery store, the kids refuse to come, and I say, “FINE” and run out.
I will be ready to leave the kids home alone in a planned way at age 12, I think. And then my biggest concern won’t be an outside threat — it would be that the kids would get into fights with each other. [A mother at basketball last weekend had left her 12-yo daughter home alone: we were actually talking about this particular milestone and how it's later now than when we were kids.]
3) I remember running into the house to prepare a snack or use the bathroom or attend to a quick dinner-prep step (turning something in an oven after so many minutes, or starting something on the stove to simmer) when the kids were — I’m blushing here — three. I didn’t let the leave the backyard but there was no gate or fence on the side near the driveway. I would sit and watch them from the windows for a few minutes before going back out, too. That was on a tiny lot on a connecting road with minimal traffic.
Now we live on 2 acres of land, the house is set back 250 feet from the road, and the kids have played outside by themselves since we moved here. They were 3.5. But it started with me grabbing quick snatches of time inside, and extended gradually. Sometime around 1st grade, I would let them ride their bikes down in the cul-de-sac without me, as long as they were together and the dog was outside, too. I find that I’m checking on them so often (my greatest fears: skinned knees and sibling battles) that it’s easier just to grab a book and walk down to keep on eye on them.
Wilder goes to play at his friend’s house up the street and the three 2d-grade boys in our neighborhood run all over that corner of the neighborhood for 2 hours at a time. It’s a quiet neighborhood and even I can hear their shouts (but not the words) from my house. The girls’ best neighborhood friend lives right behind us so when they’re all playing together, they’re on the two adjoining properties.
4. We don’t live close to a park, but we’ve let the kids walk to their friend’s house down the road and around the corner (5 minute walk) in a buddy pair in kindergarten. We gave them whistles and the adults at the other end were waiting for them. They LOVED doing this — they felt very grown-up about it, and still do.
Alone in a park? It would depend on the park. There are small neighborhood parks back in MN where I would let the kids walk to play in a buddy pair now at age 8. All the parks around our house here in NC are big multi-use parks with large parking lots and I don’t know when I’d be ready to let the kids play by themselves in those. By the time they were old enough, I think I’d worry more about why a bunch of teenagers wanted to hang out in a park.
It’s never going to be an issue, though, because they can’t walk there by themselves.
5) This happened twice with one daughter last year, in first grade. She went to sleepovers with girls whose parents I barely knew. Luckily the first and second sleep-over invites any of the kids received were from families whose parents are friends of ours.
Factors affecting my decisions:
A. What I’ve read about children’s safety and the risks they face at the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
B. The crazy amount of freedom I had when I was a kid — the summer after fourth grade, in suburban Minneapolis, I was allowed to bike 2 miles to go bowling (bowling alleys have BARS) with a friend. And ride the crosstown bus to the library. And ride my bike 2 miles to the lakes.
C. The fact that I have three kids all the same age. They can watch out for each other when they walk through the neighborhood or wait in the car.
D. The fact that my kids haven’t wanted to do things without me or be left alone until quite recently, so when they DO ask to go on a sleepover or sit reading a book in the car instead of coming inside the ballet studio, I feel more comfortable myself.
These are fascinating! Thanks for asking and I can’t wait to read the answer.
1) I really don’t know. I’ve done very sparingly with the 4 and the 6 year olds. The 4 year old only at the church/school parking lot where there is nobody around and it’s pretty safe. With Kelvin, in other places, lately he sometimes wants to stay in the car (locked and with no keys, obviously) and wait for me while I go quickly to the grocery store, but I won’t leave Linton just yet. I don’t think it’d be safe to leave both of them because they might fight. And when Linton is 6, maybe I will leave him too.
2)I’ve done it with Linton (4.5) a couple of times. He was watching PBS and I ran to get Kelvin (it took less than 20 minutes) and when I came back he was still watching TV and had not even moved an inch. I’d leave Kelvin (6) longer because he can call me if he needs to. But I haven’t done it yet, isn’t that funny (because I did with Linton a couple of times?). Oh, last week K had to come to the school at night to bring me a CD (I was editing a video the students had made) and I told him to just leave the boys in bed [telling them about it first] and come (less than 15 minutes).
3)I’ve done that basically since we moved here and Linton was 3 (Kelvin 5), but more often lately. Our lot is .75 acre, nice and level, with a swingset and a “playhouse” (a shed the previous owner built for his boys to play) and the street is pretty quiet. Sometimes they even ride their bikes up and down the driveway. I tell them to not go into the street, obviously (sometimes I park the minivan at the end of the driveway). When we lived in our old house (suburban region, closely spaced houses) I wouldn’t leave them out of my sight in the backyard. So I guess it depends more on the neighborhood than the ages.
4) I have no idea. There’s no park with playground within walking distance here (there’s one with a baseball field only 1/2 a block, but it’s across a very busy road). I think I wouldn’t do it until Linton was at least 6-7 and Kelvin 8-9. I think this is the same age I’d let them ride their bikes around the neighborhood (which has several culs de sac) by themselves. But they’d take a cell phone with them in either case.
5) My husband is more or less against sleepovers with anyone (his mom never let him growing up). However, with families we know well and whose kid(s) are the same age, they can go even now, at 4 and 6. The boys spent two nights and days away when we had our wedding anniversary back in December (at separate houses, with same age friends). I don’t think we’ll ever let them sleepover at the homes of acquaintances.
Now I want to read what the others said. Especially Jody and Dawn.
I didn’t read a single reply so I don’t bias MY answers!
1) At what age is a child old enough to be left alone in a car while you are out of sight for between 5-10 minutes ? ( for example to run into a store or pick up another other child)
Hmm, maybe at 7-8…Right now my oldest is 6.5…I do run into the bank ATM while they are in the car…but that is in sight.
2) At what age would you feel comfortable leaving a child home alone for up to 30 minutes?
My oldest is going to be 7 in the summer. I am thinking of trying a short walk out of sight this summer and leaving her in charge… 5 minutes, maybe then 10… no more than that for now.
3) At what age would you let your child go play alone (no adults) outside in your yard?
4. BTDT
4) What age would you let them walk 1-2 blocks to play alone in a park?
maybe 8-9. I am not comfortable with either of them playing alone in a park. If it was walk alone to a friends’ house? Yes, right now is okay. But to play alone in a park? Not what I am happy with.
5) At what age would you let your child have a sleepover with a friend from school if you had only met that child’s parent a few times in passing?
At the point, I would let S IF I KNEW THERE WERE NO GUNS IN THE HOUSE OR POOL IN THE YARD. Yes, I mean to yell that. IF there are guns, I need to really think about it. IF there is a pool, I need to think hard an explain pool safety.
Sorry- forgot to unbold my answer to number 5…
Some additional comments.
First, I felt quite guilty going and reading some (not all) responses. I’m glad nobody, if anyone, will probably read mine, or I’d feel quite mortified
.
Kelvin is going to be 7 in a month and it’s been only in the past month or so that I’ve let him stay by himself in the car for a few minutes while I go into the store with his brother. Oh, and a note about Linton staying in the car while I go into the school to get Kelvin — he cannot get out from his carseat yet (!) so he cannot get around the car. And he’s really really good, he doesn’t cry or complain. I’m also lucky that both of my boys are pretty cautions in everything they do, they’ve have never ran into the street or climbed on furniture or generally done perilous things.
NOW, I was just thinking about something after I posted and as I was driving to pick up Kelvin up from school. Maybe you’ll want to discuss this further with your readers, or maybe not:
Does gender make a difference in these decision? Would I have done the same things if I had girls? I sure hope so, but I don’t know. Do you think that the fact that you have two girls will be part of the reason for you decide on going one route or another?
I’d be very curious to hear what you think!
I will preface all this by saying my children are now 14 and 18, thriving, and we have all lived to tell the tale.
1) At what age is a child old enough to be left alone in a car while you are out of sight for between 5-10 minutes ? ( for example to run into a store or pick up another other child)
It depends. But if you lock the car doors, and the child is sleeping, I’d say an infant. Never wake a sleeping infant. If the child is old enough to unlock the car doors on their own, I’d say don’t do it. If they’re old enough to unlock the car doors and are generally compliant, I’d say four.
2) At what age would you feel comfortable leaving a child home alone for up to 30 minutes?
Ten. Although “legal age” in our city/state is 12. Depends on maturity of the child.
3) At what age would you let your child go play alone (no adults) outside in your yard?
If it is a secure fenced yard (we have never had such a thing), five?
4) What age would you let them walk 1-2 blocks to play alone in a park?
Ten if they take a dog and a cell phone.
5) At what age would you let your child have a sleepover with a friend from school if you had only met that child’s parent a few times in passing?
Two. My child started sleepovers with preschool friends at age 2.5. I didn’t know the parent super well but I liked her vibe. (she was an undergraduate single mom in college apartment housing on same campus as the preschool)
I haven’t read any of the previous postings because I was afraid they would irk me too much. Nothing bothers me more than overprotective, fearful parents.
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