Cheekbones (Part 1)
It started innocently enough: As we were walking through the Chinese grocery yesterday, M said, “You and I are the only people here with brown hair! I am so embarrassed!”
Her comment came out of the blue, so I was a bit surprised. I pointed out several other people at the store with brown hair and finished up our shopping. Later, M and I went for a walk and I decided I needed to do a little more investigation into what she was feeling.
As we talked, it became clear that M identifies her own appearance as white. (Note: I think there is a dichotomy between how she views her appearance and and her knowledge of her ancestry. She knows she is half-Chinese and knows that her family is half Chinese.) I think she understands that most other people also identify her as White.
While it is true that she appears white to the casual observer, I thought we needed to talk a bit about how it works to be biracial. I said something along the lines of “Yes, it is true that most people probably overlook the parts of your appearance that come from your Asian ancestry, but they are still parts of how you look. You look exactly like someone who has ancestors from both Europe and Asia should look. You have a bit of both if you know where to look.”
We talked a little bit about her hair and her nose and how those probably figure heavily into how people categorize her racially, but then we talked about the features of her face that are more Asian in appearance. We talked about her eyes, which are shaped just like Mr. A’s, though they are big like mine.
“Are my eyes big because of my ancestors from Europe?” she asked.
I thought hard before I answered that one. “Well, your eyes are big because MY eyes are big. So are [my sister]’s and Nana’s (my mom) and all Nana’s sisters. In our family, some people have big eyes, but it isn’t because they are European. There are lots of Europeans who have small eyes too. There are also Asians who have big eyes and some have small eyes.”
M looked thoughtful, like she wasn’t entirely sure she believed me. Then I said, “When I look at your face, I can see that your cheekbones also look a little Asian.”
At that comment, M’s eyebrows furrowed and she looked decidedly unhappy. “Oh NO!” She said, “Are you saying I have HIGH CHEEKBONES? High Cheekbones are BAD and UGLY!”
As far as I can remember, we have never once talked about cheekbones before. I was shocked that M had any reference point for cheekbones at all. “What? Where did you hear about high cheekbones?” I asked, trying to buy myself some time.
“From the Goldfish Mystery” she said.
The Goldfish Mystery is a book she read at my mom’s house. Click the link there to see why I was worried.
………………more later. We have Chinese lessons now.
Yikes. That’s some tough stuff. I’m half-Korean/half-white and while some people can tell that I “might be part something” I look pretty white. People are usually pretty surprised when they find out I’m half-Korean. It gets old.
I think the fact that you’re so aware of the issues involved in being biracial is a huge plus for M. Good luck!
My son looks more white and my daughter looks more Chinese. You can tell they both have a bit of something in them, but J might be able to “pass” but M never could. Their skin tones, especially, are so different. And I often wonder who will identify as what, how will one feel about the other’s looks, will it even matter, perhaps I am a touch neurotic… Interested to read part 2!
Maggie,
its funny I was looking at your kid’s pics on facebook this morning and I was thinking they could pass for 100% chinese when they are standing next to their dad.
amfam… my kids when asked always identify themselves as chinese or asian. When they draw pics of themselves they have dark tan skin like my husband (when in reality they have light olive skin that tans well in the summer. As they get older they look less Asian. It is funny though that they do not stray from identifying themselves as Chinese. Most people don’t pick up they are asian right away (except for asian people they always ask).
Oh, no.
I read a ton of Bobbsey Twins books as a kid. When I got all nostalgic and read one as an adult, I was horrified. That one looks particularly awful.
Tell M that I have high cheekbones too although now I’m feeling suddenly insecure about them
Great good LORD, that cover illustration!
I’m also a hapa and I went through a similar phase.
I grew up in a predominately white area and the only other Chinese person that I had regular contact with was my dad (and occasionally my grandparents when they came to visit).
I also looked more Asian-looking than White and my classmates would often tease me because of that.
I was very insecure for awhile.
The one thing that really got me through it was my discovery of Chinese/Asian entertainment. It really opened my eyes and let me be proud of who I am.
American media (even today) still stereotypes how Asians are portrayed so being able to watch a movie or TV series where Asians are just “normal” was so refreshing.
I second the oh no. My husband just bought my daughter a bunch of vintage Nancy Drew books, and we talked about what I remember about them, and then I read them all so we could discuss the content. But she’s older, which helps with the critical reading. And at least Nancy Drew is an independent, intelligent girl.
I’m waiting anxiously for the second part of this story.
cherylc, I’m curious– which version of the ND books are those? I wrote my thesis on portrayals of class, gender and race in Nancy Drew and other pre-war girls’ series; I had an awful lot of fun with the research, for sure, but I also uncovered a few very disturbing passages in some of the books. When it comes to Nancy’s sense of adventure and general spirit, the early 30s and 40s blue-backed books are, hands-down, my favourites; she seems to have a lot more fun in those! BUT what upsets me a lot is that they have some incredibly offensive portrayals in them. Use of terms such as “darkie” and the use of then-prevalent stereotypes that might (hopefully) be over the heads of most children today are applied to African Americans, Asians, Jews and Gypsies.
The yellow-backed ND books that came out in the 50s, 60s and 70s aren’t quite as bad, overall, but they still have their issues; for one, in an effort to appease the many readers who wrote in to complain about the content of the earlier books, the publishers came up with the bright “solution” that pretty much all African American characters be simply wiped out of the books, rather than have them rewritten in a less offensive and stereotyped way. There are also some stereotyped portrayals of Asians in a couple later ND books (chiefly playing heavily on the “exoticism” of Oriental art, culture, etc.) and The Clue in the Old Album features a pretty nasty view of gypsies (one of the earlier Bobbsey Twins books, I think Blueberry Island, also dealt with gypsies who tried to kidnap the smaller twins, although this was completely removed in the later edition)
I am definitely curious to see how this conversation with M turned out.
Andrea, as I was reading the books I was thinking that somone must have done that kind of research. It’s fascinating stuff. These books had original publish dates of the 1930’s, but had been republished in 1959, 62 and 72. There were no people of color in them at all, except in The Sign of the Twisted Candle, which has a really offensive portrayal of an African-American cabbie. Is your thesis available somewhere online?
Sorry for the blog post hijack.
My A looked very Chinese when she was younger – I used to get all kinds of comments from people who thought she was adopted. As she’s getting older, I think that she looks more mixed. She’s always identified as Chinese.
Classic kids’ books are kind of a minefield. We’ve been reading the Little House books, and I had a hard time explaining some of the passages about their encounters with Native Americans. I’m curious to hear more about your conversation with M.
Ack. We have a couple of the old Bobbsey Twins books tucked away in a box, but they’re so bad on twin-hood and girls that I haven’t gotten them out. Thank GOODNESS, I think now.
I knew about the race stuff in Nancy Drew but had forgotten about how all of those mystery-kids used to end up in “exotic” adventures sooner or later. Eeek.
As a grandmother of bi-racial children, I have to wonder WHY your mother would have a book like that in the house! Even if she hadn’t read it, the pictures would certainly be a clue that it wasn’t appropriate. Good grief.
Interesting. We just had a long discussion about race yesterday and the three “classic” races (the three main lines) and how characteristics of each “race”(I think we used the term type of people) was dependent on where they lives and the genetic pool. We couldn’t explain the Asian eye shape, but we did discuss the different skin colors being normal and where the American (continent) indigenous people are descended from Asians…IT was a fascinating discussion with the girls.
At the end, Soleil mentioned that we all have different skin color and that’s just like hair color so people shouldn’t worry about it. It’s interesting to see how a family with mixed race works on being a nonracist parent. I find it so hard when we are more homogenous (although techically, I’m the happy Aryan and my husband and kids are the Russian Jewish stock. Try being the only blonde in the Judaica shop! And having the staff sneer at you! That is fun! NOT!)
I clicked. Wow.
cherylc,
no, my thesis is not available online as far as I know, unless my university library did something like that with it after I left!
I actually highly recommend Melanie Rehak’s book on the subject. It is in many ways a much more comprehensive examination of the topic than my thesis. Rehak’s book is called Girl Sleuth: Nancy Drew and the Women Who Created Her, and I referenced it heavily throughout my introductory chapter. The book gives a very clear view of the sort of people who shaped Nancy, and as a result it becomes easier to understand (though not laud) the reasons such disgusting stereotypes found their way into the books.
When it comes to fiesty heroines in pre-war girls’ series, Judy Bolton is a hands-down favourite of mine. In all the JB books I have read (admittedly I have not read them all) there were no offensive portrayals of other races, and she is actually a thinking, caring character who faces a much more realistic growth and evolution of her personality than Nancy ever did (and I say this as a die-hard devotee of Nancy Drew!) There are still certain gender stereotypes present but they number very few, and are so concrete that I consider this a mark in the books’ favour because it provides a jumping-off point for discussion with young readers (eg. “why do you think Judy believed a girl could not expect to have a job as a detective, especially when she was so good at being a detective herself?”) whereas the Nancy books presented such concepts in deed rather than word, and don’t really give any discussion topics to grab onto.
Trixie Belden is another great option for fans of books featuring girl sleuths; I met both Trixie and Nancy when I was in first grade and digging through a box of books that had belonged to my mother. I’ve not been able to let go since!
I have really high cheekbones – people have commented on them at various times in my life. My ancestry is entirely Eastern European – though certainly over the course of history, that area has been influenced by people with a wide variety of “typical” appearances.
Can’t wait to read part 2… “ai ai ai” [sounds like i, i, i](Spanish/Portuguese expression of worry — you’ve probably heard it before) is all I can say right now…