Last night at dinner, I was telling Mr. A a funny story about some teenagers in the park. I happened to mention they were using “bad words”. At the very mention of “bad words”, M’s eyes got big.
“Which word was it?” she whispered, “Was it the S.A. word?”
“What is the S.A. word?” I asked.
“Mama, YOU know,” she said “It means the MIDDLE FINGER.”
I pondered the S.A. word for a bit. I will admit I was a bit conflicted. Should I let M continue to think the middle finger is a word that begins with S.A., or should I let her in on the truth?
I decided to stick with my usual parenting philosophy of telling my kids the truth.*
“M, the middle finger word doesn’t start with S.A. It is spelled F.U.C.K.” I said.
“F.U.C.K.” She said slowly, “Really? I thought it was S.A.”
“No, there is no bad word that starts with S.A.” I told her.
M looked confused.
“Do you want to ask me a question? You can ask, it is ok.” I said.
“I can’t ask you because L will hear a bad word!” M said.
“Just whisper it, ” I said.
M looked very serious.
“What about …FUNKY?” she said sounding alarmed, “We say Daddy’s feet are FUNKY all the time!”
“Ohhh,” I said, “Not FUNK. F.U.C.K. rhymes with DUCK not DUNK.”
“Oh.” she said, “I’ve heard that word before. I didn’t know it was a bad word.”
“Well, now you know. Fuck is not a word for kids to say. It is a grown up word. Grown ups can say it, but kids can’t.” I told her.
“Why can grown ups say it, but kids can’t?” she asked disturbed by the injustice.
“That is just how it is. Fuck is like beer. It is only for grown ups. When you are grown up, you can say it if you want to, but until then, you can only think it in your head.”
“Oh. Ok.” said M. Then she ate the rest of her dinner in silence. She was probably thinking Fuck Fuck Fuck the whole time.
But now I want to know what her “S.A.” word is. I’ve been trying to think of what it might be…
I’m with Jess, I want to know what the SA word is.
I asked her, but she didn’t know. I suspect she heard someone else talking about the S.H. word and thought they said S.A. The S.H. word being either shit or Shut UP, both of which are verboten at our house and with some of her friends.
Sunny used to talk about the C-word. Turned out it was “crap”
S.A.
I figured Stupid Ass
*lmao*
Love that explanation… we had a major rash of swearing last school year. The more we said they couldn’t say it the more they said it. The kindergartners at my son’s school were swearing like sailors. They brought the counselor in.. they got time out… recess taken away… but it kept getting worse. Finally the teacher talked to all the parents and explained that they were going to ignore it for a week. It stopped!
LOL! A friend of mine walked in on her 3-year-old and 6-year-old arguing:
“It’s FUCKING!” said the 3-year-old.
“No, it’s FREAKING!” said the 6-year-old.
“No, it’s FUCKING”
“It’s FREAKING!”
She said she knew someone was going to walk in and revoke her “Mother of the Year” mug.
And wasn’t it great that little sister got it right for once!
Great guess, Jessica! I’m sure A doesn’t want to add that to M’s vocabulary right now, though!
Luke has been asking me what the middle finger means lately. I haven’t told him because I know he would say it all the time if I told him. I’m going to keep him away from the corrupting influence of M, let me tell you!
You should stay away from the park then, because I am pretty sure that is where the S.A. business came from. The good thing about M is she is pretty likely to avoid using bad words. M has probably already gathered all the 5-7 year olds together and shared all she know anyway. Sorry if the F-bomb starts making an appearance at your house.
My 5 year old keeps asking me if the middle finger is the bad finger. And I tell him yes, it’s very rude. So now he wants to know if the middle toe is the bad toe, and it makes no sense to him that it’s not. Finally I just told him, look, do not stick your middle toe up at anyone either. It’s rude.
Hah! I remember when I finally mustered up the courage to ask what ‘the f word’ was – my parents were pretty free with cursing around us with all of the other words, but this was the verboten one. Somehow I’d missed the middle finger until that point (I was 10 or so). LOVE the distinction of ‘you can think it in your head, but not say it’ – makes it a lot less of a power struggle, I’d imagine.
that is so funny! As are all the comments. Thanks for the laugh and for a way to tackle this when it eventually comes up at our house!
I am rolling on the floor laughing! Children are so innocent most of the time and I have had many similar conversations!
Hugs From Ruth in NZ
This HILARIOUS!! Hahaha! And Corey’s comment too. Too funny!