Comments on: Learning from Experience http://american-family.org/2009/11/10/learning-from-experience/ Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:08:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Lisa http://american-family.org/2009/11/10/learning-from-experience/comment-page-1/#comment-132329 Lisa Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:26:43 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2438#comment-132329 Mental illness plus a "different" family subculture - are not just an immigrant or Asian thing. His situation sounds very familiar to me - white, 7+ generations in America; but our home dynamics made me the oddball in our fundamentalist Christian community and school when little. Once we left the religious environment, life was a lot better, but I had zero common cultural currency with mainstream white kids. I was adopted by a clique of Taiwanese-American fellow nerds, who I found a lot in common with in terms of home dynamics and interests; but while those relationships were great individually, in the group I got a lot of grief as the token white kid. It primed me well to become a first generation emigrant/immigrant myself, looking for something to assimilate into. But I worry what kind of complexes I'll give my kids eventually. Mental illness plus a “different” family subculture – are not just an immigrant or Asian thing. His situation sounds very familiar to me – white, 7+ generations in America; but our home dynamics made me the oddball in our fundamentalist Christian community and school when little. Once we left the religious environment, life was a lot better, but I had zero common cultural currency with mainstream white kids. I was adopted by a clique of Taiwanese-American fellow nerds, who I found a lot in common with in terms of home dynamics and interests; but while those relationships were great individually, in the group I got a lot of grief as the token white kid.

It primed me well to become a first generation emigrant/immigrant myself, looking for something to assimilate into. But I worry what kind of complexes I’ll give my kids eventually.

]]> By: CC http://american-family.org/2009/11/10/learning-from-experience/comment-page-1/#comment-131911 CC Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:13:29 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2438#comment-131911 Every one of those bulleted points about your husband (except the one about visiting Taiwan a few times, b/c my husband has never been to his parent's native China) was experienced by my husband as well. And now? He still knows no Chinese, in spite of Chinese school and Chinese church, and still doesn't really think of himself as Asian. Every one of those bulleted points about your husband (except the one about visiting Taiwan a few times, b/c my husband has never been to his parent’s native China) was experienced by my husband as well. And now? He still knows no Chinese, in spite of Chinese school and Chinese church, and still doesn’t really think of himself as Asian.

]]> By: june http://american-family.org/2009/11/10/learning-from-experience/comment-page-1/#comment-131334 june Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:56:43 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2438#comment-131334 I went through a minor identity crisis during college as well. I grew up surrounded by Asian Americans, and so many of my friends and fellow classmates were Asian Americans, that that was the only setting I felt comfortable in. Then I went to college and encountered a population that was mostly white. THAT was an eye opener for me. But there were still plenty of Asian Americans in my school, and I gravitated towards them. I can also identify with the social isolation part because my parents, while "normal", were not social people and plus I had an autistic brother. So we rarely had interaction with other Chinese families, and we had no extended family in the US. I, too, was shocked to discover that not all older Chinese people are clueless, bookish homebodies. I went through a minor identity crisis during college as well. I grew up surrounded by Asian Americans, and so many of my friends and fellow classmates were Asian Americans, that that was the only setting I felt comfortable in. Then I went to college and encountered a population that was mostly white. THAT was an eye opener for me. But there were still plenty of Asian Americans in my school, and I gravitated towards them. I can also identify with the social isolation part because my parents, while “normal”, were not social people and plus I had an autistic brother. So we rarely had interaction with other Chinese families, and we had no extended family in the US. I, too, was shocked to discover that not all older Chinese people are clueless, bookish homebodies.

]]> By: shumei http://american-family.org/2009/11/10/learning-from-experience/comment-page-1/#comment-131333 shumei Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:46:22 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2438#comment-131333 Sounds like Mr A's experiences are the same as my friends who were born here to immigrant parents from China and my friends who were adopted from Korea as infants. They thought they would fit in more in China/Korea until they went there and realized they stood out as Americans. My friend Matt put it "I don't belong in either world." I think because of those conversations with both adult adoptees and ABC, I can at least talk to my kids about those experiences. And try to include as much diversity as possible in their lives. Sounds like Mr A’s experiences are the same as my friends who were born here to immigrant parents from China and my friends who were adopted from Korea as infants. They thought they would fit in more in China/Korea until they went there and realized they stood out as Americans. My friend Matt put it “I don’t belong in either world.”
I think because of those conversations with both adult adoptees and ABC, I can at least talk to my kids about those experiences. And try to include as much diversity as possible in their lives.

]]> By: Parodie http://american-family.org/2009/11/10/learning-from-experience/comment-page-1/#comment-131301 Parodie Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:15:06 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2438#comment-131301 I'm neither asian nor American, but I struggled with identity issues as a francophone raised in an anglophone city. I think it's important for kids to know other kids AND adults who are like them, but that they also struggle to figure out how to live up to adults' expectations for them and to figure out how they fit into society at large. Kids need support from their parents to do this, but chances are that even with that they will struggle. At almost 30 I'm still wrestling with how to claim my identity (there are other social factors at play here too, of course). I’m neither asian nor American, but I struggled with identity issues as a francophone raised in an anglophone city. I think it’s important for kids to know other kids AND adults who are like them, but that they also struggle to figure out how to live up to adults’ expectations for them and to figure out how they fit into society at large. Kids need support from their parents to do this, but chances are that even with that they will struggle. At almost 30 I’m still wrestling with how to claim my identity (there are other social factors at play here too, of course).

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