Chinese Food Mini-Project (Day 1)

Ok, you asked for it.  This is what we had for dinner tonight.  Both are from Fuchsia Dunlop’s Sichuan cookbook.

The top picture is my own modification of Homestyle Tofu.  The tofu was boiled, not fried.  I also, I didn’t remember to take a final picture after I added the scallions and corn starch, so imagine it has green specks and a thicker sauce.  Even though I followed the directions for the sauce, I didn’t really dig this dish tonight.  I have made it before with better results.  I can’t figure out what I did wrong.  (The answer is probably that I would have preferred to be eating Mapo Tofu, but since that isn’t what I chose to cook, this is what I had to eat.)

phpIUIwV9PM (2)

These are vegetarian Dry Fried Green Beans.  They could have used some bacon and I probably should have cooked them longer.

phpNCobKbPM (2)

Mr. A snarfed his share up. M ate massive quantities of rice and took only one bite of beans and one of tofu (under duress).  L ate two bites of tofu, a few bites of rice and drank a big glass of soy milk.  That is par for the course for her these days.

Learning to Cook so Mr. A Can Eat

Way back at the beginning of Nablopomo, I had a few comments asking for more information about how I finally (after 12 years of being with Mr. A) learned to cook Chinese food.

I had tried to cook Chinese food for a long time, but it was TERRIBLE.  So bad that it was not surprising to me to work on a meal, take a taste and throw it away.  I thought all Chinese food was seasoned with soy sauce.  I had a vague notion that there also needed to be some corn starch and some stir-frying action.  I would saute up some veggies (probably frozen mixed veggies -gag!) and throw on some soy sauce and be shocked when it tasted like ass.  I was trying to replicate bad American Chinese restaurants, when I don’t even LIKE that food.

Then, last year I checked Fuchsia Dunlop’s memoir Shark’s Fin Soup and Sichuan Pepper from the library.  With that one book, I gained more understanding of Chinese food than I had gathered in the whole rest of my life.  I decided that 2009 was going to be the year I learned to cook Chinese.  For Christmas, I asked for and received both of her cookbooks for Christmas.

Oh My God.

The first dish I made was from the Sichuan cookbook. I think it was Homestyle Bean Curd (page 315). I tried to follow the recipe as closely as possible (though I didn’t deep fry the tofu, I boiled it and just mixed it in). At that point, I didn’t even know what chili bean paste was, but soon it was to become a major feature in many, many of our meals.   Who knew you were supposed to use chicken stock, not douse the dish in tons of soy sauce to make a liquid? It was a revelation.

Since then, I have tried recipes from both the books and I have discovered I prefer Sichuan style cooking more than Hunan style.  I have made Mapo Tofu, several kinds of dumplings, dan dan noodles, and a variety of meat and vegetable dishes.  All of them have been good.  Very good.

This isn’t to say there haven’t been mishaps.  After a few tries, I convinced myself I do not like Sichuan pepper, so I started leaving it out.  It wasn’t until some friends took me to an authentic Sichuan restaurant that I figured out how it was supposed to taste and that I could actually enjoy eating it.  Now I am experimenting with it again.  I also tend to tone down some of the spiciness if the girls are going to eat with us, or I just make an identical dish without chili bean sauce for them.

At this point, I have learned enough about the basics to start trying to replicate dishes I have had in China or in good Chinese restaurants that are not in the cookbooks.  Even though the spicing is different, the cooking principles are still very similar.

For example, tonight I tried to make Niu Rou Mian (beef noodle soup)  similar to the la mian (hand pulled noodles) Mr. A ate while he lived in Shandong province.  Those noodles were the very first real Chinese food I had ever eaten, so I have a certain amount of nostalgia for them.  Mr. A ate at a  little noodle shop almost every day while he lived in China, so he was eager for me to try it too.

I looked for recipes, but all the Niu Rou Mian I found looked  spicy.  The noodles Mr. A loved were plain, but came with chili paste and vinegar on the side.  Working with some recipes online, I created my own recipe.  While it wasn’t 100% the same as our beloved noodles, they were close AND they were yummy in their own right.  Now I know how to tweak the recipe the next time too.

phpz9F7zoPM

I guess the answer to the questions are: I found a good cookbook and I read about the process.  I tried the recipes. I liked them (and Mr. A loved them). so I tried some more.   Cooking Chinese isn’t hard, but it isn’t intuitive if you are used to cooking mostly Western-style food.

I have been thinking about trying a mini-project to cook more Chinese before the end of the year and posting the results here.  Mr. A is enthusiastically in support of that possibility, but I am afraid it might be boring.  I am not a food blogger.  Do you all really care what we eat for dinner?  Maybe I will give it a go as a side project, not as Nablopomo filler.   Maybe.

What She Did

I keep waiting for the MIL story to get funny, but it just isn’t.  In all the time I have known her, I have tried to view our interactions through the lens of funny because otherwise I would be a seething ball of MIL-directed anger.  Actually, a seething ball of MIL-directed anger is exactly how I feel right now.

So here it is:

A few weeks ago, MIL called out of the blue one day while Mr. A was at work. There has been a bit of a crisis going on with Mr. A’s younger sister who is mentally ill, so when I answered the phone I was expecting a conversation relating to that particular mess.

After our initial pleasantries, this is the conversation we had:

MIL: Uh, I need M’s social security number.

Me:  Why?

MIL: Well, I have a retirement account and I want to list M as a beneficiary of 50% of it in case something happens to me.

At this point in the conversation, I pause because this makes no sense.  Any money MIL has should be directed toward a special needs trust for Mr. A’s younger sister.  In that brief moment, I hadn’t gotten any farther with my thoughts than thinking about SIL.  It would appear that the pause is what led us to MIL opening her mouth and saying something that I will probably hear in my head every time I look at her or talk to her for the foreseeable future.

MIL: It isn’t that I don’t love L, you know, because I like her. She is a very nice little girl.  It is just that I feel like M is special.  She shares her love with me, so I want to give my money to her.

The thing about MIL is this: as soon as she says something like “it isn’t that I don’t love L” you know that is EXACTLY how she feels.  As soon as I process what she has said, all I can see is red.

Me: MIL, I think you are going to have to discuss this with Mr. A.

Then I hung up.

The thing is, we have told MIL over and over that we absolutely will not allow her to treat M and L differently.  To be more specific, that she is not allowed to favor M.  That kind of behavior is unhealthy for BOTH girls and will will not allow it.   We have discussed this  many times, so it isn’t news to MIL.

The thing is, MIL has made no real effort to get to know L.  We are partially to blame because we used to make much more of an effort to see her when M was little, but now with two kids, driving several hours there and back in one day is very difficult.  All of MIL’s four grandchildren live here, so it makes the most sense for her to come see us.  Also, I haven’t been willing to drive up to see her  because I have been trying to avoid this very dynamic.

As soon as I hung up with MIL, I called Mr. A at work and left messages on his cell and work voice mail telling him to call me because I was so mad at his mom.

Once he heard the story, he called her.  By that time, her story had changed:

“I want to give the money to M because she is the OLDEST.” she told Mr. A.  “That is how Chinese people do it.”

I believe MIL figured out how pissed I was by what she said by the time Mr. A called, so she changed her story.  (And maybe she thought maybe  I wouldn’t have told Mr. A what she said to me??? W.T.F.??)

Mr. A told her in no uncertain terms that favoring one kid, whether because they are the favorite or because they are the oldest (or the most likely scenario which is because one is biologically realated to her), is not acceptable to us.

I know we can’t force her to love both girls the same.  I know she may not love L, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why  she must dislike L so much that she  wants her final act to be the kick in the gut of making sure we all know that she loves M the most.

While I can’t control  how she feels about the girls, I can control how much access she has to them.  Right now, I am mad enough that I don’t want to allow her to see them any time soon.  I told Mr. A that I don’t think I am going to be over this feeling by Christmas.

I don’t know when or if I will ever not feel this angry with her.

Day 14

I managed to make it to day 14 before I started feeling really annoyed with NaBloPoMo.

In other news, it appears I do not have H1N1.  Instead, I think I had a hangover and a scratchy throat quite possibly caused by jamming my fist in my mouth repeatedly. Ahem.

I am off to bed.

H1N1 in the house!

Actually, I don’t think h1N1 is in my house…yet.    Today, I stood in line with the girls (and my BIL & his kids) so we could shoot them up.  I, on the other hand, am not eligible under our state’s guidelines yet.

Wrangling the kids and the crowd for a couple hours left me worn out.  Now, I seem to be developing a mild cough.  This does not bode well, I think.

While I am waiting to see if H1N1 has me in it’s grubby little  clutches, I have been amusing myself trying to find funny  google search auto fill answers like these :  One day I will rule candyland with an iron fist.