When people ask me how to search in China, I generally get the feeling they are really asking “Who can I pay to do the work for me?
Here is the thing: Right now, there are not many searchers you can hire* in China and even if there were, I don’t think they would be very effective. Things in China work through relationships. You need to locate someone who knows someone who knows someone who can get you the answers you need.
Before we go there, though let’s start at the very beginning. I like to think there are two routes to searching in China: A) Following a single thread or B) Casting a wide net.
An example of following a single thread:
- You have reason to believe your child’s finding information is true (Don’t assume if you don’t have evidence! You will be wasting your time if you find out later it isn’t true!).
- You have a finder’s name and you contact him or her (in person or via phone/email etc.) to find out what they know.
- The finder gives you their opinion that maybe the baby comes from XYZ village.
- You send someone to XYZ village to ask around or you visit yourself.
An example of casting a wide net:
- Your child was found in a public place in a big city. You don’t have a finder’s name. You ask your orphanage Yahoo group if anyone has a reason to believe their child’s finding information in inaccurate.
- You send a letter to the CCA*A requesting your child’s police report.
- You send regular care packages to the orphanage to maintain a good relationship with them and help them remember your child. Maybe someone there will eventually be willing to give you some information.
- You go online to try to locate a local contact in your child’s finding city.
- You have someone call the police officer on your finding report to see if he remembers anything and try to get a police report from them too.
- You ask your local contact to place posters near your child’s finding location.
- You place an ad in a local newspaper (or several).
- You pay to have an ad on a local TV station.
Ideally, casting a wide net could give you a single good clue that you can follow. These methods are not mutually exclusive.
There is no easy way to give a step by step guide. The method you would need to use depends on your child’s particular circumstances, the amount of information your received, the amount of financial resources at your disposal, etc.
***Before we go on, let me stress the importance of trying to keep a certain amount of information that only the Birth Family might know private, so you can confirm it is them before going through the hassle of a DNA test. Also, remember that any information you put out there has a chance of becoming public. A well-meaning person might talk to a reporter, take it upon themselves to act on your behalf, etc. Keep these things in mind as you are getting swept up into the excitement of searching. *****
If I were to try to give you an outline to follow, it would be this:
1) The first, easiest and most important thing to do is to go through the information you received with a fine tooth comb. Have at least two different people read the Chinese version of your documents and make sure your translation was accurate. Are there inaccuracies from one document to the next? If so, they are a clue. You may think it sounds crazy, but believe me, there are clues in that paperwork.
2) Try to confirm the reliability of the information you have. Contact the orphanage to see if they have any additional information. Get the police report (keeping in mind it could also be completely fabricated, but maybe not!). Locate your finder. Does that person really exist? If you don’t have a finder name, call the finding location and see if they remember your child’s finding. This stage can take a really long time and a lot of effort. But you need to try to make sure you are working with accurate information.
3) Along with #2, try to find other people searching in the same area so you can share resources and information. Ask if anyone on your orphanage Yahoo group has reason to believe finding info is false. Ask if anyone’s child shares a common finding location (it could be a clue or they might already be collecting information about it). Ask if they know anyone local who might be able to help you.
4) Do the easy research first. Remember there is a TON of information available online in both English and Chinese now. Get someone to activate your ability to type Chinese characters using pinyin on your computer ( I had a friend do it, so I can’t tell you how. Try googling it.) Get the characters for your child’s orphanage name, finding city/town/village, finder’s name, finding location. Put them in Google and Baidu in both English/pinyin and Chinese and see what turns up (Put the results in google translator. It is really very good now.) Closely examine your child’s finding location on Google maps. It is amazing that they even include teeny, tiny villages now. (You can search there with either pinyin or characters. It works best if you find a nearby large city before you start using the search function.)
5) Find a local contact. This is the MOST important step. Try to find a local message board and get someone to translate brief emails you can send to local contacts there asking for more information and/or help. Once you have practice reading Google-translated Chinese, get a QQ account and search for local contacts in English or Chinese. Search in English and Chinese for Facebook contacts. Ask anyone who might have contacts with Chinese Americans or Chinese living in the US if they know anyone from your child’ area. Are there any foreigners living in that part of China who might be able to help you get a local contact? They might be more understanding about a search and be able to help you find someone who is sympathetic. Remember, you just need to find someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who can get you in touch with a local contact. (Keep in mind, this person could also be your child’s foster parent, the guide from your adoption trip, etc.)
6) Use your local contact’s expertise. Your local contact doesn’t have to be a private investigator. They just need to be someone or several people who are willing to help. Find out as much as you can from them about the climate for searching in that area. Ask them what they think happened given your child’s finding information (keeping in mind they will also be speculating). Maybe they will be able to ask around quietly to see if they can locate the birth family. Maybe they can help you put up advertisements. Maybe they can suggest a newspaper or TV station where you can place an ad. Maybe they can visit local officials on your behalf.
7) Don’t forget that you are building relationships! That is the way things work in China. You need to make sure that everyone you are coming in contact with has a favorable impression of you. This is no time to be an ugly American. You can’t get pushy and demand answers like you would here. It can take a long time to build a relationship and get information. Even if you feel like one door is closed, keep trying. Keep calling, just to say hello and check in. Keep sending updates to the orphanage. Send small gifts to your child’s foster family. Even if your local contact can’t help find the birth family, remember they could be a resource for your child when she/he gets older too.
8.) If all else fails, just show up and see what happens. There have been a number of cases of birth parents who were located when an adoptive family brought their child back on a heritage tour. Not often, but it does happen. I am guessing it would be helpful to have done as much legwork as possible prior to showing up at your child’s finding location. If it were me, I would go with a pocket full of cards or fliers and hand them out to every single person I saw. I would make sure I had a guide who was supportive and willing to help talk to the locals. I might ask to visit a local school and just happen to show up with a little information about my child to send home with the school kids (not mentioning searching per se, but including my address or a contact number).
Except for actually visiting China, none of these things cost very much money. So far, I think I have spent less than $60 on actual searching. I have spent a bit more on shipping and gifts for the babies at L’s orphanage, but I would have sent those anyway. I am fortunate that I have a friend who translates for me and someone who makes calls for a pittance, but I don’t know anyone who is searching who is paying big bucks to a searcher. That doesn’t mean it isn’t possible, but it isn’t the only option.
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*There is one exception to that, but because it isn’t generally publicized/advertised, I don’t have any real information about the rumored “research projects” to find birth families. I don’t know how effective they are (if at all).
Great post Amber. I’ve got contacts from my daughter’s SWI town – one, an English speaking Chinese resident of the city who is very familiar with the SWI as she used to volunteer there, and the other – an Ausie who lived in the town who was involved with the foster program there – the only non-Chinese ever on the inside. I kick myself for not yet exchanging email or mailing addresses with my Chinese contact, since our communication was on Facebook which is still blocked there. I know you cautioned this in your last post, but reminding people how important it is to prepare yourself emotionally when/if you do uncover facts not originally known to you.
If it were me, I would start by sending them a PM on facebook anyway. They might get PMs forwarded to their email account. Or, if they are foreigners, they might be using proxies from time to time. THen I would start contacting people on their friends list and ask them if they have an email address you can use to get in touch. I would try to start by contacting people who have the same last name, in case they are relatives. Also, I would try googling their names. Maybe they have an alumni email account or something similar you can access. Almost anyone who uses the internet leaves some kind of trail unless they are paranoid about not leaving one.
Agree, great post. You gave me the courage to act on a couple of ideas that I have had (and as you suggested) but hesitated in doing so because of hitting dead ends with other approaches. Approaches that were probably heading in the wrong direction anyway. Thank you!
So thorough, and great ideas! Thanks.
Hmmm-I have done several things, but not as persistent as i could be. I am still struggling with a lot of anger toward the orphanage and have been weak with that relationship-occassional email updates, which generate no acknowledgment. But, I do have a local contact working on leads and, according to Brian Stuy, though my daughter was at a huge orphanage in a city of 3 million people, her finding place is unique to her. And, the fact that she wasn’t a newborn but was incredibly healthy, including emotionally, keeps me going in the belief that someone might be looking for her at this moment.
I haven’t requested the police report-will do that this week.
Sigh. I was hoping you had some kind of magic wand or Super Sekrit Method. These were the approaches I had heard about, and guess I will have to start doing some digging. Thanks for the succinct lay-out of how to go about it!
This post makes me realize how small and big the world is at the same time. Best of luck on your continued search! You are my role model! I also feel that I am supposed to adopt (at 22), but cannot explain it.
Delurking to echo that these are great pieces of advice. Networking (guanxi) is probably the most single important thing you can do. We adopted twins from China and I met their birth mother this past summer when I was in China conducting research. I used to volunteer at an SWI in China when I was doing my graduate work (I am an academic in a China-related field) and one of my contacts there helped to put me in touch with my daughters’ birth mother. I am able to read and speak Chinese so I went over the documents with a fine-tooth comb several times and also double-checked with friends and family members who are native speakers of Chinese.
Do keep in mind that not all birth parents want to be found. In our case, the birth mother was happy to meet me, but she was also quite nervous about it. She made it very clear that only her immediate family knows the story and that she doesn’t want her friends, extended family, or boyfriend (who is a foreigner) to know about this. She also refused to give me any information on the father. I will keep her information so that my daughters can contact her when they are older, if they so desire, but I don’ t know how she’ll react. That’s between her and my daughters, however.
So, making connections are helpful, as you said, as well as either knowing Chinese or obtaining the aid of someone with Chinese skills (machine translation may work okay for some things, but if you need to speak to someone on the phone, for ex, having a human translator is helpful). It also helps to have an Asian face or Chinese heritage–people will trust you more. Since we can’t control our race, however, this is where having a friend who is Asian (preferably Chinese) aid you will be a big help.
Thanks Amber – this is a very helpful post – makes starting seem less daunting. I’m trying to decide if the trail for my oldest daughter born 2001 is too cold. We’re planning to visit both girl’s hometowns summer 2011. Will scout out Chinese Indonesian friends who read the characters to help out. Really. Thanks. This is so helpful.
My girls were born in 1996 and 2002 and I also feel the trail is too cold…sigh. None of this was thought of in 1997 (when we first adopted). I do have contact with my first daughter’s foster mom and have tried to get info, but either she doesn’t know anything or isn’t talking!
There is a mother from my daughter’s orphanage Yahoo group who is putting together her 2nd group of parents to hire a former adoption guide to travel to the orphanage to get copies of everything in the adoption files, take photos of finding spots, and see if she can find information on finder or birth parents. I am supposed to put together a list of questions for the orphanage director, who is generally very cooperative and for the finder (if she finds one). This is very reasonable cost wise and if nothing else I will have copies of everything for my daughter.
I am really struggling to come up with questions. This post is very helpful, but if you think of anything specific I should ask I would really appreciate it.
These posts are so important for all adopters or potential adopters. They really take the shimmer-shine off the the adoption rainbow fantasy. What!? My child has a family? Those people are important and worth working to contact? Isn’t my love/home and resources enough?!
What you are describing is SO.MUCH.WORK. After doing some searching for additional birth family information for a U.S. domestic adoption, I get the picture of how hard your searching must be, and I admire you so much for doing it. I feel like you are doing what is right for your child even though no one has really done that before. Open adoption with China? That’s new. You’re fighting for her rights to know her story, completely in opposition to what is normal in the adoption community. That’s fierce.
Article in the LA Times today: http://www.latimes.com/news/nation-and-world/la-fg-china-search28-2009dec28,0,6696334,full.story
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