Comments on: No Imposition http://american-family.org/2010/02/03/no-imposition/ Thu, 24 May 2012 00:31:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: JJ http://american-family.org/2010/02/03/no-imposition/comment-page-1/#comment-148718 JJ Wed, 03 Mar 2010 03:52:37 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2629#comment-148718 Exactly like me. I have such wonderful friends, especially from my church. I know they want to help me with my very young children, with errands, etc, etc. My problem? I feel a little pathetic about it. Like, can't I even handle my own life, I did choose to have these children, didn't I? And, why should I take someone away from what they probably need to be doing to help me? My friends are at least 5-10 years older than me as circumstances would have it and I know there is pretty much nothing I can do for them to reciprocate because they are waaaay beyond me in life (that's not age bashing), I mean maturity, child-rearing, etc. I can learn a lot from them and accept their help, but that's about it. Finally, a small group of 3 friends approached me and said, we can see you're overwhelmed. We are helping you and you don't have a choice. You do such nice things for others, cooking meals for the shut ins, praying for us when our husbands were out of work, and just listening. What if I can't pay it back? Then pay it forward. What a breakthrough. Yes, I can accept help now because I am worthy of it, I have a good heart, good intentions and I WILL pay it forward. Exactly like me. I have such wonderful friends, especially from my church. I know they want to help me with my very young children, with errands, etc, etc. My problem? I feel a little pathetic about it. Like, can’t I even handle my own life, I did choose to have these children, didn’t I? And, why should I take someone away from what they probably need to be doing to help me? My friends are at least 5-10 years older than me as circumstances would have it and I know there is pretty much nothing I can do for them to reciprocate because they are waaaay beyond me in life (that’s not age bashing), I mean maturity, child-rearing, etc. I can learn a lot from them and accept their help, but that’s about it. Finally, a small group of 3 friends approached me and said, we can see you’re overwhelmed. We are helping you and you don’t have a choice. You do such nice things for others, cooking meals for the shut ins, praying for us when our husbands were out of work, and just listening. What if I can’t pay it back? Then pay it forward. What a breakthrough. Yes, I can accept help now because I am worthy of it, I have a good heart, good intentions and I WILL pay it forward.

]]> By: june http://american-family.org/2010/02/03/no-imposition/comment-page-1/#comment-143102 june Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:35:33 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2629#comment-143102 I am the exact same way...I always thought this was an Asian thing! I've totally done that moving tons of heavy boxes by myself, too! When I was single and moved into my first house, I bought 7 of those tall Ikea shelves and it didn't occur to me until I was tired and sore while building the last one that I should have asked someone to come over and help me. Hugging took practice as well. Then I married a South American man and now have minor anxiety attacks every time we meet up with his family and friends and I am expected to kiss people on the cheek. I am the exact same way…I always thought this was an Asian thing! I’ve totally done that moving tons of heavy boxes by myself, too! When I was single and moved into my first house, I bought 7 of those tall Ikea shelves and it didn’t occur to me until I was tired and sore while building the last one that I should have asked someone to come over and help me. Hugging took practice as well. Then I married a South American man and now have minor anxiety attacks every time we meet up with his family and friends and I am expected to kiss people on the cheek.

]]> By: Patti http://american-family.org/2010/02/03/no-imposition/comment-page-1/#comment-143087 Patti Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:34:21 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2629#comment-143087 not only did you get four offers, i'm pretty sure i offered AT LEAST four times myself! i'll know next time to just show up. ;) also, i witnessed you initiate a hug last week! see, you can become a better person! :D not only did you get four offers, i’m pretty sure i offered AT LEAST four times myself! i’ll know next time to just show up. ;)

also, i witnessed you initiate a hug last week! see, you can become a better person! :D

]]> By: MommyDiva http://american-family.org/2010/02/03/no-imposition/comment-page-1/#comment-143057 MommyDiva Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:33:13 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2629#comment-143057 We are identifying and naming some really important issues universal to women...(I live in the south) Every woman needs to lighten up on allowing friends to help....it takes a village!! Somehow we view our asking for help as a weakness....in fact, our refusal to reach out and ask friends/loved ones for help leads to unnecessary frustration (moving and loading boxes by ourselves, I've also done this) when a simple, "I need your help" would do! Same phenomenon with a spouse...nice chatting with y'all--I'm not going to be so reluctant to ask for help next time!:):) We are identifying and naming some really important issues universal to women…(I live in the south) Every woman needs to lighten up on allowing friends to help….it takes a village!! Somehow we view our asking for help as a weakness….in fact, our refusal to reach out and ask friends/loved ones for help leads to unnecessary frustration (moving and loading boxes by ourselves, I’ve also done this) when a simple, “I need your help” would do! Same phenomenon with a spouse…nice chatting with y’all–I’m not going to be so reluctant to ask for help next time!:):)

]]> By: Jenn D. http://american-family.org/2010/02/03/no-imposition/comment-page-1/#comment-143043 Jenn D. Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:17:29 +0000 http://american-family.org/?p=2629#comment-143043 Wow, I'm the same way and learned it from my Midwestern mother. Wow. I HATE, HATE, HATE to just call people. I will often times email or text so that a person can get the message at their convenience. Never ask anyone for help .... basically all the same things. This post is the proverbial light bulb turning on. Wow, I’m the same way and learned it from my Midwestern mother. Wow.

I HATE, HATE, HATE to just call people. I will often times email or text so that a person can get the message at their convenience. Never ask anyone for help …. basically all the same things.

This post is the proverbial light bulb turning on.

]]>