September « 2010 « American Family

The Proverbial Chinese Stick

Tonight, I ran to the library and left Mr. A in charge of doing Math Fact flashcards with M. Because the house is still a wreck of un-unpacked boxes, Mr. A chose to give M 2o math problems instead.

M, being seven, did not want to do 20 math problems. Instead of just getting them over with, she drew a picture on her paper of Mr. A and labeled it “Big Fat Meanie Daddy.”

Yeah. Not cool.

Mr. A, being himself, then gave M the following lecture:

“You are not working hard. You are complaining. This is not good behavior.

Do you know when Gong Gong and Amah came here from Taiwan, they didn’t have any money. All they had was hard work. They worked hard to make it here. Your daddy doesn’t come from money and everything we have is because we worked hard. You will learn to work hard too. You will have to finish these problems in the morning while you are eating breakfast.”

I am not doing the lecture justice because it was very long and boring. It left M writhing on the bed in agony. Little did she know the bullet she dodged. The lecture Mr. A really wanted to give M was one his mom gave him all the time (possibly followed by a smack with a ruler):

“Why are you complaining? You know in Taiwan, children are doing CALCULUS in second grade. In China, there are children who don’t even have books! All they have is a STICK and a CHALKBOARD and they do their math problems. They don’t do 20, they do 200! Americans are lazy! You will not be lazy!”

Honestly, I am a much bigger fan of the second story because the first one is pretty much a lie. Mr. A’s father grew up in a very wealthy Taiwanese family and had an inheritance when he came here. He had servants who did his homework for him when he was younger too. He didn’t work very hard, though to be fair it was probably because he was crazy on top of being spoiled.

That lecture is one the first of what I expect are many to come. Mr. A really feels it is his duty to pound a Chinese work ethic into the girls. I suppose I should be glad he doesn’t use me and my lack of work ethic as the example of “lazy Americans.” heh.

Also, those more astute readers among you might notice that Mr. A neglected to mention M’s disrespectfulness and only focused on her work ethic. Once I heard the story, M got a second lecture about respecting her parents and other adults. It takes a village, yo.

p.s. Mr. A wanted me to name this post “How You Become Asian.” I passed.

Gum Gum Gum

For the past few weeks, L has been obsessed with gum. Getting gum, sniffing her pack of gum, trading gum flavors with M. I was worried she would be stressed by the move, but the only thing that seems to bother her is the fact that I lost her pack of watermelon gum when we packed. Every time she sees me near a box, she asks if I found her gum yet. (We haven’t and the new pack of gum I bought distracted her for about 5 seconds.)

This afternoon, she was crying in her bedroom so I went to see what happened. When I got there, L had a picture book in front of her and a pair of scissors in her hand. She look like a deer in the headlights.

“A very long time ago, M stuck gum on my book!” she said when she saw me.

When I looked, it was true. There was a little blotch of gum stuck on the book.

“She did?” I asked, quite surprised.

The thing is, M doesn’t really care much for gum and she has never tried to stick it to things. L, on the other hand, has been reprimanded for sticking gum on the couch, floor and table in the last week.

I stepped back and surveyed the scene. L with scissors. L with gum in her mouth. The book with a gum sticky spot. Call me crazy, but it seemed a little suspicious.

“Hmm, M is going to be in trouble, I guess.” I said, “We don’t stick gum on things.”

Then L’s lower lip started to tremble.

“It was me. I did it a long time ago! I So So Sorry!” she sobbed and tears started to run down her face.

From what I can gather, L stuck the gum on the book and then closed it. (I guess to see what would happen?) When the gum left the sticky spot, she got the scissors to cut out the page but froze when she realized she would also get in big trouble for cutting a book.

Sticking gum on things = Big Trouble. Cutting a book = Big Trouble. What to do? What to do?

She did the only viable alternative: Lie and Blame the Sister. I am guessing she hoped the ” long time ago” might lessen her punishment.

Poor little L. She has an ornery streak, but she doesn’t have the sneaky in her to back it up.

More house photos

Some more pictures of the house.

The master bedroom. I use the term “master” loosely. The closet is about as wide as that door on the left. TINY. This is only about half the room. It is 20 feet long, but not very deep. The carpet and about 10,000 carpet tacks have been removed from the bedrooms and the stairs.

This is M’s room. In that little alcove by the closet door, there is a little window seat and a third window. We took out the dumb sconces.

This is L’s room. The fireplace is just the right size to hold her doll house.

This is the semi-updated only full bath in the house. It is not huge. We put in a new sink and took out that weird faucet that poured directly onto the faucet below it. A new toilet is in the works. I also ripped out the old tp dispenser and the black soapdish on the wall.

This is the back of the house. That huge vine thing is being held up by a rotting trellis and some very intense metal pipes. That thing is slated for demolition next year and we will put in some kind of new pavers or something.

This is the real reason we bought the house. It has a double lot, right downtown where empty lots are virtually unheard of. The driveway is right up to the property line, but it doesn’t cross over. Neither does the garage.

The current plan is to upgrade the house a little and sell it in hopes that the profit from the house will pay off the lot. We will either build on the lot or cannibalize it and sell it. The deciding factor will be whether or not I decide I can live in a traditional style house because the historic neighborhood will require something pretty old-style. If we build, I am leaning toward a craftsman-style bungalow. If we sell, it will be because I have decided I can’t go on unless I live in a mid-century modern ranch or something similar.

We got a smoking deal on the house, especially because of the lot. A lot in our town would probably not sell for less than $100,000. We bought the house and lot together for $352,000. If we sell the house for much over $300,000 or (if we are really lucky) $325,000+ we will walk with a tidy profit. Given the amount of time and energy I have spent stalking houses near here, I don’t think it is outside the realm of possibility. Also, our appraisal came back at $30k over our purchase price (before the electric replacement), so there is actual data behind this gamble.

House Before Photos

This is going to be a quick and dirty summary of the house as it was when we first saw it. I was looking at these pictures and it is already very different due to the work we have done so far. I only have a few minutes at the library and we don’t have internet at home yet, so this partial info will have to do for now.

This is the house from the street. We have already killed all those impatients because we didn’t water them before we moved in.

This is the living room. We stained the floors in the whole house darker and we will paint the trim white. (She says as hundreds of old wood purists throw tomatos.)

This is the dining room. THere isn’t much to see here without a table.

This is the kitchen. It is hard to tell, but the cabinets are green. Why? We don’t know. We will eventually have them painted white and get rid of the yellow walls. Also we will replace the butcher block counter top, hopefully with black soapstone. And stainless fridge & stove are already installed.

This is the left side of the kitchen. We removed that pendant light and are putting the fridge where that door is on the left. (Having it closed up with drywall. Then we will add more cupboards and maybe some open shelves. That door with glass leads to our small mudroom and then to the back yard.

That is all I have time for today. Maybe more tomorrow after our cable gets hooked up.

In the meantime…

Things that have happened since I last posted on this blog:

We went to the pool.

We looked at a house.

We rejected the house.

Mr. A won a very big case. He was happy.

We put in an offer on the previous rejected house.

We went into contract on the house.

I agreed to play on a sand volleyball team. (Shocking due to organized athletic activity AND socializing with strangers.)

I applied for a JOB.

We discovered the house had several not so minor problems. We made arrangements for them to be corrected before our closing.

I interviewed for the job.

I took M to see Ramona and Beezus.

We let our property managers know we were going to break our lease. They were unthrilled.

I got a 2nd interview for the job.

The landlord decided to rent the house to his exwife, so we wouldn’t need to find new renters in order to keep our security deposit etc.

I got hired for the job.

I changed my vacation dates for the job.

I worked.

I worked some more.

I got a nasty kink in my neck due to job-related stress.

I was very confused and concerned about the job, but I kept on working.

After three days of working, I quit the job.

The kink in my neck went away immediately after my “I quit” phone call.

I patted myself on the back for having good enough personal boundaries to not work for a crazy person.

Mr. A finally managed to extricate his dad from Taiwan. He was supposed to visit for 2 weeks, but instead stayed for like 6 months.

All were relieved Mr. A’s dad didn’t bring home a Taiwanese wife, despite suggestions he was looking for one.

I yelled at Mr. A for telling the rental company we would move out two days after we came home from vacation, and a week BEFORE we could close on the house.

Mr. A called and rescinded that statement.

I spent many, many hours trying to select light fixures for every single room in our new house.

I went on vacation with my parents & sister’s family for a week.

We played Settlers of Catan every. single. night.

Mr. A and I bickered incessantly due to the stress of constant family supervision.

I visited my friend Peggy and convinced her that it was in her best interest to give a lovely piece of furniture she just bought for herself because it would be more perfect at my new house. (She is a good friend.)

I read Mockingjay.

I read Mockingjay again.

I bought a new stove and refrigerator. They are pretty. Oh So pretty.

M started school.

I freaked out when the contractors were not finished on time with the work that was required to be finished before we could close.

I freaked out because our mortgage company screwed up our paperwork and we had to go to the closing without knowing how much money we had to give them.

We closed on the house.

I spent several days pulling out carpet and about 50,000 carpet tacks. That job sucks.

I scheduled and supervised the mold remediation people, the electricians, the plumbers, the drywall repair guy and the hardwood floor refinishers. And the the plumbers again.

I accidentally stuck my finger through the ceiling. Then I called the plumber yet again.

L started preschool.

Mr. A spent over 14 hours cleaning the creepy basement of the new house, which probably hasn’t been cleaned for over 40 years.

I panicked because the floor guys might not be done by sunday, but we have to move out of our rental on sunday.

I am packing up the house and moving things into the not-ready new house.

I convinced ThatPatti to pretty up my blog so I can distract myself from the move. (She is a good friend)

And here we are.

I think I am back. I missed you guys. I going to give blogging another shot. Let’s see how it goes.

The Proverbial Chinese Stick

Gum Gum Gum

More house photos

House Before Photos

In the meantime…

Brilliant Blogs

Friends and Neighbors

Categories