I kind of blew my load on those last posts. Also,it is hard to come back with some random every day post after you bare a sliver of your soul on the internet. But here we are, nevertheless.
We are in a period of adjustment. Mr. A is settling into his new job. The girls have settled back into school. And I have….well, I have been moping around.
I am not exactly sure what my problem is. It is probably one part crappy weather and several parts lack of a Big Thing to look forward to, plan and obsess about. No more house to buy, no Big Trip to plan, no searching mystery to solve.
I have been trying to shoehorn the next house (the one we will build next door) into Big Thing status, but it is really several years and lots of money away from my current reality. Grasping at straws for a Big Thing never ends well.
I also think I am missing my little family. On the trip, it was just the four of us as a all-in-one unit. For better of for worse, we were intertwined in a way we aren’t here.
Here, the world is competing for our time and attention. We are ships passing in the day (at night we are not passing as the girls are asleep and Mr. A is at work), coming and going, rarely are we together in the same way. For as much as I was tired of the trip by the end, I kinda miss it now.
Yeah, so that is all that is going on here. Mopey. Let’s all cross our fingers that I will feel better when it warms up a little.
Maybe in the summer it will be better because you’ll be spending more time with the girls.
I think you can cut yourself some slack! You have really been through a lot emotionally….your whole family and especially your daughter. Just rest:)
That does sound rather melancholy – and you don’t have something (work, school, project) to distract you. I would be a bit down too! On the other hand, you will find a project I’m sure. You are very much a projct-doing woman!
It’s a sign that you should blog MORE!
I hope that you
Sorry. The baby hit enter…
I hope that the blahs fade soon. This time of year is gross.
It always happens that way for me too. I then have to organise some other “big thing” to get my mojo back. Can become very wearing for my family, but hey! at least they get to do lots of fun things. Just wanted to say I understand completely.
x
Sometimes having a Really Big Thing go through to a conclusion leads to a “what now?!?!” kind of let down. Give yourself some time, and when spring/summer really starts going, get outside as much as possible.
why don’t you set yourself a project like redecorate a room or something. Or spring clean the house. That will keep you distracted
It was an emotional rollercoaster years in the making — “reality” can never compare!
I totally understand the sentiment, though I’ve never had the searching thing going on. If I’m not planning something big, I feel at a loss. It drives my husband nuts…
Here’s a small-to-medium thing– we’re going to be in Columbus for a wedding August 6th. Obviously that makes it all better, doesn’t it? ;’}
I’m commenting now on the last string of posts. I can totally relate to initially not seeing the resemblance in first family photos, and then having it completely come to the forefront of my awareness. Adoption is messy. Not knowing details allows us to make it more sanitary and simple in our minds. It is never simple. It is always mixed up and love and pain and joy and horror all tumbling together. Thanks for sharing that. It is a truth that we often gloss over.
Maybe you can create a small project for yourself? Like planting in some bulbs for spring?