Not enough for any one post, so here are some tidbits:
-I would like to punch the person who previously owned our house. He apparently let his cat climb up the 80 year old trim of my downstairs bathroom for at least a decade. There are claw marks from floor to ceiling, not to mention the huge gauged-out spot where the cat apparently sharpened it’s claws. Mother Effit! I would clock that guy if he wasn’t already dead.
-If that wasn’t enough of a clue, Yes, I am back to my Annoying House Project. Good news, though! Next week someone is going to come and pump all the gook out of the Cistern! Then they will block it off and never will we have to think about it again except whenwe are stuffing dead bodies in there !
-I have the misfortune of marrying a man who has chosen a career that would be much more successful and easily accomplished if we lived in a Big City. He has the misfortune of marrying someone who is much more of a Mid-Sized City kind of gal. Oh, Country Mouse and City Mouse, how ever do they get along?
-In totally unrelated news, despite all my previous griping about wanting to live in China, at this point in time I would decline even if obscene amounts of money were being waved in my face (which, for the record, they are not). Not the least of my reasons for said rejection would be the fact that China is now scrambling VPNs and internet is unreliable there. (And it is dirty.) China has also been throwing lots of lawyers in jail lately and I happen to be married to a lawyer. Probably, no one pays you while you are in prison, right?? Where would I get my obscene amounts of money then? (And did I mention it is really really dirty in China?)
-Hong Kong, on the other hand, has good internet and is quite clean and frequently desanitized. It is unclear if they toss around obscene amounts of money there, though. And rent is a bajillion dollars. And we probably couldn’t get a Chinese speaking Ayi. The girls might like to learn Tagalog though.
-Probably the only place we will ever move will be right next door to this very annoying old cat-scratched house. Maybe I should try to get a Chinese speaking Ayi here? If only someone would move a major investment bank to town or something like that, we would be all set.
-Early today, L was walking around the house saying (quite loudly) “Mom! Where’d you get that cock? Whose cock IS that? Is that your COCK?” except it turns out she was saying CAULK because I left a tube of it lying on the kitchen table.
-Speaking of the table, we have been eating off a plastic folding table for the past 10 months. This is because my parents borrowed my dining room furniture to stage their lake house. Not the lake house they actually LIVE in, mind you. The SECOND lake house they bought on the very same lake. (Why? Liberal girls with parents who are rabid Republicans do not ask questions like that. Girls like me have parent-child relationships balancing so precariously that any talk of real estate could quickly topple into WHY THE GOVERNMENT CHARGES TOO MUCH FOR TAXES and then it could go to WHY TEACHERS ARE OVERPAID AND ARE BILKING HONEST CITIZENS WITH THEIR EXTRAVAGANT PENSIONS AT AGE 50 and god knows we don’t want to go THERE.)
The good news is it seems they are possibly going to sell the extra lake house by the end of April and I can finally eat on laminate wood table and put my other actual furniture in my actual house. And soon, I will paint over the wood fillered cat scratches and dry out the cistern so if we have to sell the house, it wouldn’t be a disaster.
Let’s all cross our fingers, shall we?
Ha! My accent sometimes gets in the way and a while back I said “cock” instead of “caulk” (even after a few repetitions by the husband I still can’t really hear nor repeat the difference so I just avoid the damn word) at the HomeD loud enough that a few of the workers turned and grinned/snickered in my direction. My husband didn’t think it was funny that I had asked “what ‘cock’ color are you looking for?” – I thought it was funny…I might do it again! Your cistern just plain scares me!
Astrid Meklit’s best friend at school is named ‘Urine’ or at least it sounds that way when the L-impaired tried to say Lauren. The 12 year old asks every school day about how Lauren is, just so he can snicker. Cause he’s mature like that
hehehe you said cock
My husband is now pretty deep into a career that requires him to be in the major financial industry centers. Our choices of locations are narrowed down to a handful of huge metropolitan cities. I want to live in the country. We’re working on it.
Mid-sized city sounds charming, as does your scratching-post house.
Are you thinking of selling it already?
My two under 5-years of age daughters have started calling each other “‘duck’ head.”
My stepcat completely shredded the screen to our sliding glass door. Granted– easier to replace than 80-year old trim.