Peace and Quiet

Every summer, my parents want a chance for the girls to spend a longer period of time at their house. M has been there since Thursday, L since Friday after her gymnastics class. They aren’t coming home until Monday night. The girls love spending so much time at the lake. They are undoubtedly being spoiled rotten.

Mr. A and I can’t believe how quiet it is here. To be completely honest, we are loving this little vacation from parenting.

The best metaphor I have thought of is this: Having kids is like having someone randomly flicking you in the head, all day, every day. It isn’t painful, just a constant state of low-level annoyance. Little people constantly require attention or course correction or entertainment. It seems like they are always making it at least twice as difficult to get what I want done in an efficient and stress-free way.

I miss the little buggers, but I can’t get over how relaxing is to have the mental space to string several thoughts together without interruption.

Soon we will be back in the swing of normal life and school. Until then, I am going to enjoy this peace an quiet.

Rachel (Hounds in the Kitchen)

August 22, 2011 at 1:20 am · Reply

“The best metaphor I have thought of is this: Having kids is like having someone randomly flicking you in the head, all day, every day.” This and a near-constant murmur of noise…

My 22 year old sister asked me today “How are you not exhausted all the time keeping up with Lil?” Short answer is: I am exhausted all the time.

Enjoy your kid-free time!

hellokjames

August 22, 2011 at 1:35 am · Reply

That is the best metaphor ever. And I am truly jealous of your kid-free time.

Lilian

August 22, 2011 at 2:05 am · Reply

Enjoy! I’m jealous .

Carol Anne

August 22, 2011 at 1:22 pm · Reply

Perfect explanation! Sending my kids to overnight camp this year was wonderful. Next year, I want to send the husband and kids to overnight camp the same week, so I can have some real peace and quiet.

August 22, 2011 at 3:50 pm · Reply

Totally agree with the metaphor. Hope you had a great weekend!

Asianmommy

August 22, 2011 at 4:44 pm · Reply

I remember when the kids were very little. Every time I was able to the grocery store without them, I felt very lightweight and free.

HeatherV

August 22, 2011 at 6:03 pm · Reply

AGREE. Completely.

Mei Ling

August 22, 2011 at 7:11 pm · Reply

“It isn’t painful, just a constant state of low-level annoyance.”

Then why do people in general want to be parents?

AmericanFamily

August 22, 2011 at 10:38 pm · Reply

I believe it is the 90-10 rule. 90% of the time parenting is at best a bit annoying, at worst really really stressful and awful. 10% of the time, it is absolutely amazing.

Somehow, that 10% good makes the 90% bearable.
AmericanFamily

August 22, 2011 at 11:34 pm · Reply

Here is another person explaining that 90/10 thing, except without the 90/10.
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/01/why-does-anyone-have-children/

August 23, 2011 at 3:51 am · Reply

But if it’s so annoying, then why does ‘everyone’ want to be parent?

August 23, 2011 at 3:53 am · Reply

P.S. And this is why I never plan on being a parent. I have never been a “child-friendly” type of person/babysitter, and I can’t see that changing. Much less gain parenthood.

Becky

August 23, 2011 at 4:59 pm · Reply

The below comment on the NY times article sums up my motivation to adopt children after swearing for years that I would never have kids. Without kids, I had a very nice life thankyouverymuch, but was vaguely bored. I enjoyed my freedom and travels and millions of outside interests … but I felt in need of another BIG adventure. Parenthood is certainly giving me that! I’m just hanging on for the ride.

Maybe people who have a generally happier and more satisfied outlook on life are more likely to choose not to have children, thinking, “Why mess things up? I’m perfectly happy as I am!,” whereas somewhat less happy people may think, “I want to have children because the reason I feel somewhat dissatisfied is that I am childless.”

Cathy

August 23, 2011 at 10:02 pm · Reply

What you say interests me. I have wondered, particularly when my children were babies and life was very demanding, whether or not I as an adoptive parent I had the right to express my annoyance/irritation/exhaustion. After waiting so long for our children I kept these thoughts to myself for fear I would appear or sound ungrateful. I applaud your honesty BUT I wonder, do a-parents feel a pressure to be more ‘perfect’?

AmericanFamily

August 24, 2011 at 12:53 am · Reply

I don’t feel like that at all. I complain about L the same way I complain about M. Parenting is hard. If we can’t complain, how can we get through the day?

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Peace and Quiet

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