Lifebook: CCAA Matching

(Written by Chicagomama.  Archived here with permission.)

In a Land of Mystery.  In a Time of Uncertainty.  One Oasis remained a Beacon of Hope.  

The CCAA.

If this was a Jet Li film – you would now see some seriously fierce practice of wushu.  Men and women doing things with dossiers that you’ve never seen done before.  In rooms bathed with appropriately moody yet spiritual lighting.

But this is my blog…and every picture I have ever seen of the CCAA shows a pretty innocuous, typical office building in Beijing whose rooms are bathed in flourescent lighting.  And, unfortunately, I don’t think the CCAA is widely regarded by adoptive parents as a ‘beacon of hope’ – which is just too bad – since it would play into a more positive stereotype of Chinese culture than the one currently being hype: that of the inscrutable, cunning Asian bureaucracy that lives to mess with the Noble White Man by means of ambiguity, misdirection and disdain. 

Though – a case could also be made that neither stereotype is very helpful or truthful…and we should just stick to the facts.  hmm, let’s try that.

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While the Director of the Orphanage prepared and submitted my paperwork to the CCAA, so that they could find me a family…halfway across the world (in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA), a family of a mama and baba dreamed of having a child.

This family felt that their child was in China, and they worked with an adoption agency called CAWLI (China Adoption With Love, Inc) to send their dossier to the CCAA asking to be matched to a little girl who would become their daughter.

The CCAA works very hard to find families for children.  When parental dossiers are sent to them – there is a three stage process the CCAA goes through to find the best parents possible.

Stage One: Translation The CCAA needs to make sure that all documents in a dossier sent are translated into Mandarin.  The workers in the Translation Room make sure that all the parts of the parental dossier are translated in Mandarin.  Our dossier (from America) was written in English and so all the paperwork needed to be re-written in Mandarin so that the CCAA workers could read it.  Dossiers from other countries are sent in other languages – Dutch, Swedish, Spanish…they all need to be re-worded into Mandarin so that all the CCAA workers can read them.  Parental dossiers have a lot of pieces to them and translating them can take a long time.

Stage Two: Review After a dossier is translated, it goes to the Review Room.  The CCAA has a set of rules that adoptive parents must follow to be able to adopt a child from China. These rules are there to protect China’s children and try to make sure that only the most qualified parents are allowed to adopt.  In the Review Room, CCAA workers read through the documents in hopeful parent dossiers and check to make sure that all the paperwork is in order.    If there is a problem with a dossier – this is where it would be found.  The CCAA would then ask for more information regarding that set of parents and sometimes decides that some prospective parents will not be allowed to adopt from China. 

Most parental dossiers that are sent follow all the rules and regulations of the CCAA and are approved.

Stage Three: Matching In this final stage – families who have passed review are sent to the Matching Room.  In this room are all the dossiers of children whose information has been sent by their SWIs to find them a forever family.  The workers in this room have the very important task of matching the right family to each child.  No one knows exactly how families are chosen for each child – but many people think that the CCAA workers are pretty amazing in how good a job they do. 

We don’t know what specifically caught the eye of the CCAA workers, but somehow they decided to match me with my Mama and Baba. 

After matching me with my new parents, the CCAA sent a packet of information (called a REFERRAL) back to the U.S. with 4 pictures of me and documents that told my Mommy and Daddy about my life and my development at the Orphanage. 

Lifebook: SWI Sending Child’s Paperwork to CCAA

(Written by Chicagomama. Archived here with permission)

So many of us see our family’s adoption stories only through our own lens.  It’s natural – we chose to adopt – of course we see it through our view of the process.  We may have been infertile, wanted to save a baby (I don’t like it but that doesn’t mean that people aren’t doing it), thought adoption was another way of adding to a family or were first choice adopters – whatever the reason, we come to adoption. And after a lot of legwork on our side; applications, homestudies, INS approval, working with social services, adoption agencies or lawyers – we are finally matched with a child.  And that new family begins.  

But wait a minute – that’s our story.  While important to us – it doesn’t tell our child anything about why or how they came to be placed for adoption*.  And so – we need to be careful in our children’s lifebooks not to confuse our journey with theirs. 

A lot of other lifebook guides I have read do focus on the parent’s journey to being matched with the child.  However – you [as parents] know that piece of the story very well and I am sure (unless you are hiding the fact you are an adoptive family) that journey is a favorite topic within your home.  It probably also is a favorite topic with some of your children.  There is a reason that Jamie Curtis’s Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born is so popular**.

But, going back to Grace from the Nat Geo’s ‘Lost Girls’ – I think it is essential for our children to hear and understand that they were not placed for adoption because we [their adoptive parents] wanted a child.  Or just because it was ‘meant to be’.  They do not exist solely due to our wants and desires.  Adoptive parents are not and never were sole omnipotent forces in their children’s lives.  We need to acknowledge the power and choices made by others in this process and how those other people affected our child’s placement and our family’s formation.

If you are a parent writing a lifebook for your child – you are probably fairly open about the adoption process.  And I think it is important to tell your child why/how they came to be available for adoption.  However, in the case of Chinese adoption – the birthparents did not make an adoption plan.  So, we need to look further into why your child was made available to be adopted.  We need to figure out the who, what, why, when and how.

Does this mean our side of the story should be shunted aside – never to be mentioned in a lifebook?  At this point in the lifebook – YES. 

While it is important for our child to know the steps taken on our side as well, I wouldn’t be adding in stuff like your personal timeline/checklist of the entire paperchase/wait/referral to your child’s lifebook – unless the child requests that type of drilled down detail from you for the lifebook that they put together when they are old enough to create/add to/enhance it.  in my opinion, it really doesn’t add anything to your child’s lifebook except the knowledge that you thought your efforts to adopt were worth however many pages you create in the book displaying them.  A brief mention of your paperwork will be helpful in the next section – CCAA Matching.  If you want to do a more detailed section – perhaps we should create a separate scrapbook/parental lifebook/memory book of your own that can house those thing sthat were important to you during this part of your life.

Your final wording may be something like this

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While my Ayis loved me and took very good care of me, they and Director Xu also wanted me to have a mommy and daddy.  So, the Orphanage created a dossier about me to send to the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) in BEIJING, the capital of China, to match me with a mama and baba who would become my family.  The CCAA works very hard to find forever families for its children.  Their mission is to do the very best they can for the children entrusted to them.

This process is called ADOPTION which is “a legal proceeding that creates a parent-child relation between persons not related by blood; the adopted child is entitled to all privileges belonging to a natural child of the adoptive parents”.

Adoption creates families. 

The dossier contained a medical report that told the CCAA how I was developing physically.  It also described my personality and highlighted my likes and dislikes. IN December 2004, several pictures were taken of me to also be included in my paperwork.  The CCAA used all this information to find the family they believe was the best fit for my needs.   

My dossier was sent to Beijing in January of 2005.  While I continued to grow bigger and bigger, Director Xu and my nannies knew that at some point – I would be matched with a new family.  Big changes (unknown to me) were already afoot.

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Short, and to the point.  I would recommend using a referral picture (if you have one available) to flesh out the page.  Additional information from your child’s paperwork can work well as a caption.

The really nice thing about taking yourself out of the equation up to this point is that it  helps to gently show your child that their lives were not changed irrevocably solely because of you.  Their adoption was going to happen whether you existed or not.  This is an essential point to our children’s stories.  And I believe it will help them understand and make sense of their experiences if they have that information.

Next up: The CCAA matching process…here’s where the first mention of YOU! the adoptive parent comes in.

* Some people will tell you to give possible reasons why your child’s first family abandoned them.  As I have stated before, I disagree with this idea – as I don’t think it is necessary to put into a young child’s lifebook.  Especially since – barring the presence of a note – most of us who adopt from China will never know for sure why our child’s parent decided to abandon their child – and written possibilities too often can take on the strength of FACT to young children.  Once a child is old enough to truly understand some of the possibilities of the ‘why’ of abandonment  – that might be a good time to work together on that section of your child’s ‘Independent Lifebook’ – or let them work on it. 

The ‘why’ of being abandoned (in my opinion) has very little relationship to the ‘why’ of being placed for adoption (in China – other types of adoption may have a much stronger causal relationship).  Remember, IA from China represents the fate of approximately 2% of the Chinese orphanage population, a very small percentage.

** While I like some parts of this book – I really do not like how the birthparents are treated as non-people in the story.  It is pretty freaky to me.  So, I still love Jamie – just wish her book could hold both sets of parents within.

Lifebook: Life at Orphanage or with Foster Family

(Written by Chicagomama. Archived here with permission)

In this section, I am going to concentrate on how families with children from China may want to present this information.  I know way too little about the amount and accuracy of information from other types of adoption in this case.  If the information I give is helpful universally – great!  If not, well at least I have warned you it may not be. ;)  

This section of the lifebook may be very easy to create or it may present some difficulties.  I know of some families that have lots of information regarding their child’s life before adoption and who may still be in contact with the Orphanage or Foster Family their child was with pre-adoption, and others who have sketchy reports and only a couple of un-dated photos with no further contact possible.

Either way, I think we would all agree that our children will be quite curious as they get older about where they lived, how they lived, what they ate, who they were close to, etc.  This section really exists to give them a fuller picture of what their life was like at a time they may not remember.  If you have an older child with memories of places, routines, and people – this is a great section to work on together, piecing their memories with your photos and reports. 

For the younger child, I would suggest making this section a pictorial study if possible*.  Here is where the camera you may have sent to the SWI or Foster Family will come in quite handy.  Gather as many pictures as possible and put them in this section. I was amazed at how easily Z. recognized pictures of her nanny when we looked through her book together.  You may also have pictures from your child’s hometown or province through a service such as THIS or THIS.  Again, those can help flesh out your child’s questions of what things looked like, and how people live in their area (since living conditions are radically different in different parts of China).

If you want your child’s lifebook to “grow” with your child, you may put more text in this section – details about your child’s growth and development from their written reports, and details you may have gleaned through questions answered at the time of adoption or through subsequent letters. Again, I think having names, addresses and specific dates are invaluable here.  Tell them where the information came from, either the official referral, at adoption time, or later.  Tell them who told you, and what relationship that person had with your child.

I will also make a suggestion here that parents seriously consider staying in contact with their child’s SWI or Foster Family a very high priority.  Not only did those people take care of your child until his or her adoption (and are probably curious or concerned about the child’s growth and development) – but they are the first [and sometimes only] link you child will have to their life before you.  When and if your child wants to learn more about their life – we as parents should have been making this possibility easier for them.  I am NOT suggesting that parents should do massive amounts of research regarding a birthparent search.  Rather, just suggesting that if you are able to keep a relationship going – it may well be extremely helpful for your child’s future needs and desires.

Ok, next up – Ayis/Nannies/Foster Family: what to talk about and how to make your child’s caregiver a real person to your child. (we will also talk about possible things to do if you suspect or know your child was ill-treated by a caregiver before adoption)

* This is a little bit of assvice from me.  When we received our referral, we sent a care package to the Orphanage where Z. lived.  In that package we sent a long, personalized, very culturally appropriate letter (translated into Mandarin by A. Hall) asking if they SWI would take pictures of Z., the SWI and those who were close to her as keepsakes for her as she grew up (enclosing 2 cameras for that purpose with Z.’s name in Chinese characters on both cameras).  Also enclosed in the package was a PLETHORA of gifts for the Director, Nannies and OLDER CHILDREN in the Orphanage.  The only things we sent to Z. in that package was a photo album containing pictures of us and soft brown bunny.  The rest of the stuff (crayons, coloring books, board books of [ABCs, colors, etc.], hard candy, chocolates, stickers, perfume, US postage stamps, scented lotions, baby rattles, and a couple of older kids toys) was meant as Hong Bao (literally translated as “red envelope”.  This is what the red envelopes are called that are given to younger people during Chinese New Years – containing money.  Hong Bao also colloquially means “bribe”.  Yup, I sent a shit load of stuff, some of it easily translatable into hard currency in order to ask for what I considered a imposition on their time and a great gift to me if it was done.

We received both cameras back from the SWI when we met Z.  Both cameras were FULL, and the pictures contained wtihin showed us so much of the SWI, Z.’s special Nanny and many other really wonderful things that have helepd us so much in fleshing out what Z.’s life was like for the year she spent in the SWI.  Half the people in our travel group didn’t get any camera back, a few got pictures clearly taken the day the girls traveled to meet us, and a couple others got some ok shots.  No one else in the group sent stuff for the SWI in their care packages, and they sent only the (complimentary aka FREE) impersonal translated note that our agency gave us in our travel packet to use if we wanted to send a care package with a couple of things for their child, and only their child.  So my assvice is if you are going to send a package – make it count.  Yes, it cost a considerable amount of money to get a long letter (and questions) translated.  Yes, it cost to send that much stuff to the SWI.  But our questions were answered that we sent, our pictures were taken – in short – it was well worth the money and time for what we received.  Just an idea.