Extended Family « American Family

Jesus and the Ancestors Send Us a Kosher Turkey

It is that time of year again! I haven’t written much about my Mother-In-Law lately, but this is a classic. This happened back on Thanksgiving 2004 but it seems like it was just yesterday.

P.S. V…I am sending this one out to you. I know you love it!

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So on Wednesday, my mother-in-law showed up at our house with a large frozen turkey. This was especially strange because we had all decided to go out for sushi (even though I offered to cook a traditional dinner…anything to avoid having to cook Chinese style food for MIL).

After a cup or two of sake, MIL told us that she believed that the turkey she gave us was a miracle.

Of course, we had to ask how a turkey could be a miracle and this is what she told us:

At the grocery store, they give you a free turkey for being a good customer. Everyday for four days, I went to the grocery store to get my free turkey. The first three days, the turkeys were no good. Too big, too small, just not right. But yesterday, when I went to the grocery store, my luck changed. When I got to the big turkey freezer, there was a woman putting a big turkey in her cart. She was telling her husband how lucky they were to get this turkey. Then, the butcher clerk saw what she had and also said she was very lucky. I looked in her cart to see what kind of special turkey she had, so I could get this same kind of special turkey.

When I looked in the turkey freezer, I saw that there was just one turkey like that one left and I grabbed it. I looked at the turkey to see why it is so good and I see that it is a very expensive turkey. This turkey should cost THIRTY-EIGHT DOLLARS. Can you believe it? A turkey that cost $38 and I was getting it for FREE because of my grocery card. Very lucky.

Then I looked closer at the turkey. I see it is a KOSHER turkey. I went every day for three days and there were no Kosher turkeys before. I knew then that it was a miracle, just for me. I know that Jesus sent me this turkey and it is not just luck.

At this point, she seemed to think that was the end of the story. The rest of us did not. A incredulously asked her why Jesus would possibly send her a Kosher turkey.

Oh, it is because of Amah—that’s my mother. she said.

When I was a little girl, Amah killed many geese for us to eat. When Amah was going to kill a goose, first she hit it on the top of the head like this. She demonstrated by knocking her fist on her head. She hit it with the handle of the knife, right on its head. Then she mumbled some words. Then she slit its throat. Amah, I asked her, why do you say those words? Because she was a Buddhist, Amah said that she was saying a prayer for the goose when she had to kill it. She asked a blessing for her family.

When I saw that the turkey was Kosher, I know when it is killed, the Rabbi says a prayer. Just like when Amah killed a goose!

So then I know that Amah is in heaven and she told Jesus to send me the Kosher turkey so I will know it is from Amah and she is watching us. It is a miracle that I got this Kosher turkey.

Besides, it is worth THIRTY-EIGHT DOLLARS and I got it for FREE! That is a miracle too!

Happy Thanksgiving EVERYONE!

Zombie Apocolypse

Today, we went out to brunch with my extended family. Mr. A and I ended up sitting next to my sister’s huband (BIL) who happens to be a cop. I don’t know how it came up, but he told us in his spare time at work, he and several friends plan what they would do in case of Zombie Apocalypse or full societal collapse.

I thought he was joking, but he had an actual, logical sounding plan. I started pondering my own plan which largely involved begging my BIL to take us with him to the 100 acre compound he and his coworker have planned. We also discussed what skills and qualities will be needed.

Due to my recent semi-success at squirrel killing (don’t ask), my sturdy build (good for long periods of low food) and my moderate workable knowledge of some basic survival skills (mostly gleaned from reading the Hunger Games and Little House on the Prairie), I had a decent chance of being admitted to the compound. I also have a strong will to survive and would gladly resort to cannibalism if necessary, so my odds of making it through the first waves of casualties are fairly decent.

Poor Mr. A, though, had very little useful abilities to offer at the survival stage. The only thing we could think of in his Post-Apocalypse pro column was the fact that his sister is a doctor. If he brings her, there is a chance he could get in. His only other life skill is an ability to bike very long distances which might possibly be helpful for foraging (though no one was impressed with this skill). Mr. A does have a good amount of muscle if I need to eat a person, so maybe I would keep him around.

My BIL and I decided that my sister had very little to offer also. She is pretty skinny (bad news in food shortage times!), can’t cook or garden and has a pretty poor ability to control her temper when she is stressed. We figured she would implode and get expelled pretty quickly. My sister argued that she would be happy to hook her way around the compound to keep the men happy and earn her keep, which amused everyone except her husband.

I have been making my mental apocalypse plan all day.

Napblopmo day2

More questions:

Several people asked about the stalker aka the Dead Guy’s Girlfriend (see here here and here for the most recent posts regarding that saga).

Since I talked to her pastor, not much has happened. I didn’t get a restraining order because I wanted to see if she was going to back off. I still see her parking in the parking lot near our house when she is at the church on Wednesdays and Sundays, but I haven’t seen her lurking like she was. I haven’t seen her drive creeptastically slowly in front of our house or come into our yard or anything like that. I assume either her pastor or the friend the pastor was going to enlist in helping said something to her.

Basically, she has faded into the woodwork for the time being. I will admit I am suspicious about the fact that my car was keyed recently. I often park in the parking lot where she parks, but I don’t have any proof it was her. I don’t know that is where it was keyed and it could have happened anywhere. The good news is my van is not in mint condition anyway (it is kind of a hooptymobile with a missing hubcap and always filled with crumbs and crumpled papers from the kids), so I don’t really care.

Next Question

JLP asked

Whatever happened with the kid that Mr. A confronted about yelling racist things? The last I remember reading was that Mr. A had forgotten the kid’s contact info in the heat of the moment, and that you were going to try to track him down another way…. Did anything come of that? If so, how did the kid’s parents react to being contacted, and how did that conversation go?

We did get the kid’s contact information but Mr. A totally dropped the ball and did not call his parents. I could hypothesize about reasons why (avoiding confrontation, tired of dealing with that kind of bullshit, etc.) but I don’t really know why he didn’t call. He knows I disapprove of his decision, but at the end of the day, he was there and I wasn’t. (Also, he read the comments on that post and knows he let my blogreaders down. We should force him to apologize to you all for not providing interesting blog fodder. Or maybe we can make him do his own question and answer session as punishment).

Beep asks:

Are there any updates on the in-laws?

Things on the in-law front have been strangely quiet. I don’t think I have seen Mr. A’s mom since we got back from Taiwan. I think subconsciously I don’t want to give her the opportunity to ruin my very pleasant feelings toward her from the trip, so I haven’t instigated any visits. I think Mr. A took the kids up to see her once or twice since we got back, but I am not 100% sure. We will likely see her around christmas, but just thinking about that makes me tired.

My FIL has been just fine. He hasn’t had any major health issues lately (last year he had several surgeries when he was visiting Taiwan), so that is good. We see him every month or so, more often when we aren’t so busy. Mr. A has been crazy busy since school started (working lots of weekends, etc.) so we haven’t seen him so much.

Mr. A’s younger sister (the one who suffers from severe mental illness) has cycled through a pretty bad patch earlier this year. His mom finally got her settled in a group home, which is better for everyone, but pisses her off. She seems to have stabilized in the last few months, but she is still completely unthrilled about the group home. We, on the other hand, think the group home is the best thing since sliced bread.

I am enjoying the calm while we have it. Certainly some kind of extended family drama will be headed our way sooner or later, but for right now, all is well.

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Adoption Bloggers Interview Project 2011

That is all for today, but I wanted to point out the Adoption Bloggers Interview Project is still registering bloggers who want to be interviewed. I participated when I was matched up with an adult adoptee who grew up in an open adoption and it had a huge impact on me. I would love to see a good diverse group of participants!

Also, I did an interview with Heather over at Production Not Reproduction. I answered some questions she had about our newly open International Adoption. You can read part one HERE and part two HERE.

Jesus and the Ancestors Send Us a Kosher Turkey

Zombie Apocolypse

Napblopmo day2

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