Yesterday, I worked for our county board of elections as a roster judge*.  I would say I volunteered, but I get paid about $150 (one square foot of house!) to go to a training and be there election day from 5:30 am to 8:30 pm.

It is a long day, but I decided to do it because our area apparently has a shortage of YOUNG FAST volunteers.  Seriously, every time I vote at the poll, I find myself standing in a long line while some old lady slowly shuffles through papers, finds her glasses, looks for my name, squints at my ID, writes my paper with slow shaky hands and tries to make chit chat when I am in a hurry and trying to get on with my life already.

I am a spry 36 years old with good eyes and the ability to write fast .  And while I don’t like to sustain jobs for long periods of time, I do have a particular talent for figuring out how to do things quickly and efficiently in short bursts.  Left to my own devices, I am a checking-in machine.

I also once worked an election observer for one of the first democratic elections in Cambodia.  I remember how hopeful people stood in long, hot lines for the right to choose their leaders.  I saw first hand the euphoria of a dewey, new democracy forming.  Our democracy is somewhat middle aged. We are old and cranky, but I still like to be a cog in the creaky wheels that make our country what it is.

Yesterday, however, I worked with a woman who was possibly one of the most annoying people in the world.  I could enumerate all the ways she was annoying, but it would be WAYYYYy too long.  We will just summarize it by saying this woman was distracting, inappropriate, unprofessional and really really annoying. Seriously, by the end of the night, I wanted to bop this lady in the head with my L-Z Names sign.  After an entire day with this woman (who would not SHUT UP), I came home and rocked silently in a corner with my hands over my ears.

After yesterday’s experience, I never want to be a poll worker again.  It was like being trapped in a cage for 13 hours with an insane talking doll that would never shut up (and spouted off long spiels of fox news propaganda).  I will still going to work the presidential election because that is when the most need people like me (quick, efficient, knowing the rules well), but now I will walk into my polling station like someone with PTSD.  Will the World’s Most Annoying Woman be there?**

I want you to know, democracy is hard, people.  Your right to vote causes suffering in ways you can not even imagine.  I did it for you.

You’re welcome.

*The roster judge is the person who checks you in, looks at your ID and gives you a piece of paper (which includes information about the ballot type for your neighborhood and party selection for primaries) and sends you to the computer judge.

**I will request that I not work with that woman again. I also reported her to the BOE for some of the more egregious things she did too.  But there is no guarantee I won’t get assigned to a location with her.  Gah.